On Marriage: Father to Son

Dear Nick,

I enjoy sharing ideas with you about almost everything {} I wanted to discuss marriage. The time is suitable for a few reasons. First, you’re actively looking for a meaningful relationship which may lead to marriage and, having been married for a while seems like there could be something that you could use.

As your grandad used to say: “Time is on your side.” This is particularly true in relationships.

In some ways you’re beyond me here. You’ve learned what many occasions I did not.  You understand how to treat a lady, the best way to have fun and what is really important in life. You’re not needy.

You know that your value without needing to fill yourself up with talk about yourself to make up for what you believe you lack. There’s a lot that I admire in you and, everyday,  I thank God that you’re really my son.

Some people today say you could love anyone with hard labour. But I don’t get it. Yes, it is the hardest work there is. That is why you need all of the positive support you can muster. But there’s a certain chemistry. Loving a woman, especially initially, for the appropriate reasons, deals with the question of danger. “Am I willing to risk marrying this individual knowing everything I know about her so much without understanding everything to minimize my risk?” If there are more than just two or three things that you love about her- she is basically honest and doesn’t suffer from addictions or is too much of a looney tune- then you’re on the right path.  Let’s dig deeper.

There’s the dilemma of intelligence, inquisitiveness and common sense. Someone can be quite bright and not read The New York Times daily. Can she laugh? Can she tell you like it’s about yourself, about your blind spots (and most of us have them). Can she connect with your mind in addition to your heart?

Here’s the main point. Does she love you? If she looks at you does she see that the eternal’you,’the  good parts of you which you do not see. Is she warm and kind? Does she have an ease of being (comfortable in her own skin as some folks say)?  Is she generous of spirit? Can she take you-warts and all?

Would you feel proud to love such a girl? And prouder that she loves you? You will start to understand precisely what I mean by this in the following manner. You may believe her beauty is all-encompassing, not just her looks.

You’ve heard the phrase,”love is blind?” You may see her as beautiful in a multitude of ways. You won’t care what anybody else thinks about her, and you’ll never feel the need to”clarify her” to anybody. You absolutely won’t care.  And any other girls you see who are drawn to you may pale compared to her. No matter how beautiful or type or giving other girls might be, you are only going to see what they lack compared to the exceptional attributes possessed by that 1 woman you love. Nobody can take you away from her. She will”own” your heart, and she’ll cause your soul to soar with the pride of knowing she enjoys just you. And you’ll love the fact that she” owns” you without needing anything from you, but by having given herself.  You’ll have a feeling of complete satisfaction when you’re with her. And you’ll have the feeling that your relationship with her is as good a romance as any told- from Romeo and Juliet to Dr. Zhivago. You will know in your heart what it seems like eventually to come home.

Can she see that the”best you” or does she berate and pick off at each error? If she does the latter, do not walk, RUN in the opposite direction because there’s something lacking in her soul and she won’t be able to fill it up with yours or anybody else’s love.  The missing bit is love of herself. The reason I tell you this is because a lot of the principal issues in relationships have this 1 issue at the center of it.

Does she have that difficult-to-find blend of love and sex-the entire package? Both are important

Would you love her for just who she is now? Not for her achievements or her dreams. Remember you do not want her autograph and you do not love someone for her resume.  Martha Stewart has many qualities, but it does not mean that you should love her. It is the qualities you think important-no matter what they are. You need to live with the selection.  Do not marry someone for”your own good” Marry someone who’s good for you.

Finally, with everything you know, are you prepared to risk the remainder of your life to do whatever is necessary to love her forever? If the reply in the gut is”yes” then take action.  If you get any other response (I mean any other response ) the true answer is”no.” Keep looking. Why? Time is on your side — always.



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Get a Lifetime Subscription to Pornhub Premium on Black Friday

Pornhub is doing something it has never done before: supplying a lifetime subscription to its on-demand subscription service, Pornhub Premium. Beginning on Black Friday, Nov. 29 and running through Cyber Monday, Dec. 2, viewers can buy the LifePlan for a one-time fee of $299.

Pornhub typically costs $9.99 a month, or $7.99 a month when you purchase a year up front for $95.88.

If you are currently paying month to month, in under three decades, you will have surpassed $299. (In other words, if you intend on using Pornhub Premium for over three decades, this deal is absolutely worth it.)

As most of us know, Pornhub’s collection of movies is enormous, which raises the question: Is Pornhub Premium really worthwhile?

It depends on if you intend on using the Premium features. After browsing Pornhub for months (or years), you will probably realize that there are a whole lot of shortened videos that last a total of five minutes. (This is often true for high-quality HD videos which were taken by a professional production company.) Pornhub Premium users will seldom encounter this issue, because Premium features partnered content from large studios like Brazzers, Vixen, Team Skeet, Teen Fidelity, Fake Taxi, Hentai.xxx, Truth Kings, Nubile Pictures, Digital Playground, Kink.com, and much more. So in case you would like full videos with high quality streaming choices (1080p, HD, or 4K Ultra HD), then Premium may be a great option for you.

Added perks include unlocking 125,000 videos only on Premium, an ad-free experience, and more access to VR content.

Accompanied with all the breaking news, Pornhub published a promotional video, which I need to say, is hilarious. It reads somewhere between an advertisement for a life insurance coverage and episode of Planet Earth. You get to see all of humankind age as a single unit. All of us watch porn.

And it is surprisingly cheap…

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I Went to Hedonism II, a Nude Sex Resort, and I No Longer Fear Growing Old

I just checked in 20 minutes before, but already I am butt-ass nude in the pool with approximately 50 other nude hotel guests. It is packed–my limbs are touching at least three other people at any given time–but still, I could tell that I stand out.

A girl asks me. She appears to be around 65.

“Twenty-eight,” I inform her.

“Yeah, you are young,” she says. Then she cried and continues squeezing her way beyond the slippery bodies.

You may have deduced I am not at your normal beach hotel. This is Hedonism II, a nude resort that guarantees sexual liberty. In actuality, the hotel’s tagline is”be wicked for a week.” (Hedonism I, in case you were interested, wasn’t something: When the hotel opened in 1976, Hedonism II was initially called Negril Beach Village, and then six decades later, some genius re-branders changed the title to something spicier and added that the II, successfully perplexing everyone.) I had a feeling that I was going to be the youngest man at Hedonism II–abbreviate from the in-the-know resort-goers as”Hedo”–and the thought did not bother me. Twenty-eight appears to be a prime age to be living large and nude. Additionally, I pictured myself as the hot, young stud who sleeps with all of the cougars. That idea actually did not bother me.

But hanging from the pool in my first day, I do feel as a child. After all, I am probably younger than lots of the guests’ children. And despite being there on a press trip with other journalists my age, they are not as gung-ho as I was to get nude, party, and sleep with all the other guests. I am on my own.

“First time here?” she asks.

When I nod, she says,”I have been coming here with my husband because 2006. We have been married 49 years.”

That is another thing I immediately learn about Hedo: It is hardly anybody’s first time. And guests are eager to talk about their wisdom. That first hour in the pool, countless folks tell me that my Hedo encounter is up to me. It might be a complete blast, or it might be a very embarrassing four times.

Hedonism II

At the end of the hour, I am tired of having that exact same conversation. I believe people have been carrying my drinking in the pub alone as a conclusion of the behaviours or lifestyle, but it is not that at all. I, also, sexually gratify back home in New York. I mean, I actually sexually gratify –possibly”too much.” In actuality, it’s something which worries me because it looks like everyone else around me is”settling down,” and I don’t have any desire to change my present lifestyle. Sure, the urge to enter a forever cuffing year could, in theory, arise in the future, but I know me.

Despite my sexual proclivities, I want a couple of minutes in the pool to take everything in. Although being surrounded by a cornucopia of flesh is not foreign to me, I have never felt so goddamn youthful while nude in a group of individuals.

That night, I went to meet up with the remaining members in my media trip for supper. Hedo has two upscale restaurants, a buffet, and small places to order food from the pools if you are hungry. The food is really good–better than I anticipated. That’s all I will say about it, because if you are going to a naked sex hotel for the food, you are missing the point.

By the end of dinner, I am decently drunk. The hotel is all-inclusive with top-shelf spirits. There is a ring with a live singer in the main dining area, so I dancing with a few media trip folks, and as the music was great, I yearned for something more. It was my first night there; I had been, as I said, decently drunk. After”taking it all in” from the pool earlier, I had a feeling of what to expect. It was time to mingle and make friends–aka, locate people to fuck.

There are two components to the resort: the bare side and the prude side. While you can be nude on the prude side, you should be nude on the nude side. I would say about 95 percent of Hedoners party on the nude side, which makes sense. I mean, why else do you come here?

I return to the bare pool, where I meet Harry, the present owner of the hotel. If I had to guess, the man is in his 70s. While he’s a calm and collected demeanor, like anybody (I’d imagine) who purchases a location like Hedo, you can tell he’s a naughty side. That becomes evident when he tells me about the”about 1,000 girls” he has slept with at Hedo.

My immediate instinct is to feel shame for Harry, a 70-something-year-old man still partying until daybreak. In the gay community, these kinds of men exist in bulk; their behaviour is known as”Peter Panning,” since it feels like they never need to grow up. I have also slept with around 1,000 people, and listening to Harry’s stories, I get the strong urge not to wind up like him daily. However, I don’t see myself settling down, either.

So what do I need?

At this time, I should probably mention that Harry is joined by his girlfriend Katie*, an eccentric and energetic woman who seems to be a couple of decades his junior. When I tell them it is my first time in the hotel, they both pick I deserve a hot Hedo welcome–at which point, Katie drops to her knees and begins going down on me. Hard, I ask the couple if Katie and I could have sex.

I assume we will visit the official”playroom,” which looks and feels just like a five-star spa, just people are boning inside. Instead, we proceed to a tent from the pool; it turns out, there are arbitrary tents around the hotel meant for additional boning. We’ve got sex, and it is sloppy, but fine. As we finish, Harry sneaks back to the tent, gives Katie a kiss on the lips, and asks if most of us want to head straight out.

I politely decline. Sleeping with the proprietor is sufficient for the first night.

I spend the next day snorkeling in the day. I see a stingray with a three-foot long body and both long stinger. The one thing I could think while swimming away from it’s, that is how Steve Irwin expired.

Jamaica is beautiful. It is sunny except for that arbitrary hour per day where it stinks. The rum drinks are yummy. But that is not why you go to Hedo. You go for the people–for your adventures. And second night, I encounter two people.

I meet them in Hedo’s teppan grill restaurant. Our media group has three empty seats at our table, and two wind up being accepted by one of the most beautiful older couples I’ve ever seen. She looks like Melania Trump, only she’s a huge, surgically-enhanced torso.

An aura flows from the bunch. It’s clear they are a power-unit used to heads turning the minute they step into a room. From the end of the dinner, I have started to eavesdrop on the couple. They are from Brazil. After the rest of the group goes to find chairs for the Hedo fetish-themed performance, I return to finish my fried ice cream with the few.


Hedonism II

They are in a deep conversation with the third person at the table. The guy, Vinny*, is discussing how many people have one soul mate, but the body–the flesh, as he calls it–is for everybody. This is very good news, because I really need to fuck his stunning wife. I learned they were married for 40 years, so they got hitched at the first tier, or they seem exceptionally youthful to get a couple in their late 50s or early 60s.

Eventually, all of us get up. He gives me a more hug, and his hands brush my belly as he walks off. I think to myself, either he is obviously a touchy guy, or he is bi, and down to get a threesome.

After watching the team perform the fetish show, I go to the piano bar for karaoke. (Walking in, I see two naked women dancing on the piano, of course.) Everybody is surprisingly good; it is a live piano karaoke scenario, where there is an unspoken agreement that anybody who gets up on stage will be halfway decent.

Then “Sweet Caroline” comes on.

“This is the unofficial song of Hedo,” says a girl sitting beside me.

I join in with the belting audience –who among us does not love Neil Diamond? –but I am confused why this tune, particularly, riles up everyone. I find out when we reach the chorus. After”Sweeeeet Caroline,” I begin to sing,”Bum, bum, bum,” but every guy in the room yells,”Suck my cock,” while the girls sing,”Suck my clit.” Everybody has such joy in their eyes as they sing.

“Sweet Caroline” plays at least five occasions during my trip, and every time, guests sing with the exact same childlike excitement. The joke, like lots of the residents there, feels timeless. And while my gut response was to judge thembecause come on, it is not that funny–from the fifth time that I heard the song, I was the one shouting,”Suck my cock!” Yeah, it’s tacky, but why am I rolling my eyes in the folks there? Is it simply because they are boomers? That’s not perfect. Older folks are permitted to be sexual and crass, too.

We make prolonged eye contact and peck on the lips, then kiss real.

he asks.

“I’m,” I inform him.

So is Angelica.”

I don’t have any need to do it, but Angelica says I need to, and she is hot, so I move up and shake my money maker. I climb up on this pole with the elegance of ape, and slip all the way down. I win the contest. While it seems like a significant feat, you need to bear in mind the average age of my opponents. Not to be ageist, but I believe that I did have a nice advantage. Some of these older men (I am speaking 60s and 70s) actually understand how to throw it back, and they loved each and every second of it.

They are staying at an top-tier suite with their own jacuzzi on the deck. For approximately an hour and a half, all of us hook up, doing each threesome position possible. We move from the jacuzzi to the area. Lying down. Against the wall. Having a bi MMF threesome, where the two guys bottom and top , the sky is really the limit. And not to brag, but I believe we touched the sky.


Hedonism II

After sex, we go to the pool and speak. Like everybody else in Hedo, this is not their first time, but they also visit Desire in Cancun, Hedo’s direct competitors.

“There are not as many older people there,” says Vinny, who has to be double my age. Clearly he doesn’t see himself as being old, and why should he? He just fucked his wife for the last hour and a half, and he might have gone much longer. I was the person who tapped out by coming. Their insatiable sexual appetite, frankly, was inspirational, but it was more than that. I loved seeing them {} in love after 40 years of marriage, while concurrently still so open to new shared sexual encounters. And what if the latter is the main reason behind the former?

I begin to find that”settling down” can take several forms–since they are clearly not”settled down,” in the conventional sense, and they are still madly in love. And while they share their lives with one another, they do not mind earning a third from time to time to bring a small oomph for their bedroom routine.

Approximately 3%, I tell them I need to go to bed. I’m exhausted. The following day is Halloween, and I know shit’s about to get mad.

Zachary Zane

When I wake up Hallow’s Eve day, I am approximately 75 percent Grey Goose, so I spend the majority of the day sleeping. Around 5, I paint my face, serving a timeless New York club kid appearance, meaning I did not necessarily go as a particular individual or thing, I simply look spooky and ferocious. I compete at the costume competition, but sadly I do not win, because a few of those people went hard, wearing costumes that took them days to create.

I then tell the other media folks that I am going to the pool to hopefully have sex with someone while dressed like some bizarre-looking sexy devil.

In the pool, I fulfill Bethany*. The asterisk this time is not for anonymity–it is because I genuinely don’t have any clue what her name is. Bethany seems smitten with me from the moment she sees me{} , my penis. Based on where you sit at the pool, somebody’s manhood can wind up right on your face when they walk down the stairs. When I say,”Excuse me”–as even at Hedo, nobody needs an unsolicited dick in their face–Bethany says to me,”Oh, honey, I understand where I am sitting.”

That is when I realized two things:

  1. I Want to be Bethany when I grow up.
  2. I am going to have sex with this girl.

She might have been coming her 70s (in the other end), but she was there getting exactly what she wanted: that dick. I found that very attractive. So Bethany and I had sex, and there is a movie on my phone of her going down on me. She asked me to record it and send it to her, but it does not seem like I did. If I had her number, I would, but that boat has sailed.

I really don’t see Bethany the following day, which is not surprising, given that she is leaving in the morning (at least, that is exactly what she said when she rejected my invitation to sleep over). If I did not have the video of her in my phone, I honestly would have thought that Bethany was the ghost of Hedo, since she personifies what makes the resort so unique. It is not the sex, though I did have that in abundance. It is not even the freedom to do as you please, which yes, is incredible, too.

It is the feeling of really not giving a damn.

Before the trip, I was afraid to consider what my future will hold; once I will start”acting my age”; and if my desire to sleep with fresh people will disappear.

Hedo helped me see that you don’t have to”settle down” just because you hit an arbitrary age–and moreover, what’s”settling down” anyway? I need to ask Vinny and Angelica.

If 40 years from now I have taken over for Harry as Hedonism II’s owner, and I am shouting”Suck my cock!” During Sweet Caroline in the piano bar, I will be proud knowing that I am living my best life.

Sleeping with boomers twice my age taught me a thing or two about maturity.

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Cheaters Never Win

Cheaters Never Win

Cheaters Never WinYou can not always choose who you fall in love with. In actuality, most people would argue love us. However, cheaters do have control over their own activities and the way they treat others. So in case you’ve found yourself in a situation in which you’ve now got more than just one severe relationship on your life, you need to accept your responsibility in the circumstance.

A Fast guide into how cheaters believe

They rationalize it

Many guys will strip off their culpability in cheating scenarios by rationalizing. They will convince themselves their first partner did not give them enough attention, or that the newer romantic partner would not take no for an answer. Rest assured, every man can get control of these situations through a conversation with the parties involved (individually, of course).

They think nobody will know

Other times, men will convince themselves that neither party will ever find out… but that too, is a lie. 1 way or another, if the relationships progress in any respect, they will want to understand where you spend the rest of your time or they will insist on spending more time together.

They believe that the other person will never inform

Among the biggest half-truths out there’s the notion that honesty and openness with all the”other girl” about being married or otherwise involved makes it okay. In fact, this rarely, if ever, ends well. When the allure of”doing something awful” wears off, pressure begins to get a decision to be made, and whether the person you’re cheating with knows about your partner or significant other, be prepared for some significant fallout.

So why is it such a big deal anyhow?

Why this societal pressure to conform to one partner? You might be amazed to learn that it is not all social. Some studies reveal that human beings, as animals, take part in pair-bonding behavior not unlike certain other animal species. In a bonded pair, both members of a couple report stronger emotional feelings, generally better overall health and disposition, as well as heightened sexual pleasure. To work on your bond with your spouse, try communication and spending more time together, rather than more time with a different partner.

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How to Know if a Woman is a Gold Digger

How to Know if a Woman is a Gold Digger

How to Know if a Woman is a Gold DiggerGuys are extremely easy to work out we like our meat, our sport and a hot girl , that’s about it. Since girls are such complex creatures it is no surprise that they can completely manipulate the male psyche. So how do you know whether this new woman in your life is a gold digger searching for a payday?

1. She says she’s an independent woman

If a woman goes out of her way to allow you to know that she does everything on her chances are she is baiting you with a damsel in distress story.

2. She complains about her expenditures

If a woman complains about her invoices or her personal finances it is a big indication that she just might be a gold digger. When it’s only been a month or two and she’s requesting a loan because of her rent or bills be very cautious. Especially if she’s reckless with her own money like making luxury purchases.

3. She’s a lot of expensive gifts from ex-boyfriends

If she’s a closet filled with Gucci bags and expensive jewelry but no real job to cover those expenses chances are she got them out of her final sugar daddy.

4. She asks you about your desktop

Even seemingly innocent questions like “What do you do?” And”Where do you reside?” Can be loaded questions, asked in an effort to determine your net worth and way of life. Be very careful when answering these questions when you’re getting to know a girl that you suspect could be a gold digger.

5. She has very Higher self-confidence

Most gold diggers think very highly of themselves and have a feeling of entitlement when it comes to guys offering them cash. Generally they are extremely attractive and charismatic. They also feel as if they deserve the very best in life and generally aren’t afraid to ask for it.

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–So you are in a relationship and your girl starts nagging. She tells you that you simply don’t know her, and that she wants that you’d just do more”little things” It is not the big things which make women happy, it is paying attention to the small information and showing you care that’s actually meaningful to them. Women are really straightforward. They do not need lavish gifts — they should know you are thinking about them.Here are some suggestions to get you started doing these”small things” your girl wants:1. Rub her feet rather than asking her if she wants you to rub her toes. Make it seem like you need to do it.2. Make her dinner one night rather than getting her make you dinner. Do not ask her if she would like you to make dinner. Make her dinner until she gets home. 3. Open the bottle of wine rather than sitting on the couch waiting for her to open it. Get up and start it yourself. 4. Light the candle so that she arrives home to a great environment rather than coming home to the glaring lights of the television and anything else. 5. Send her a text in the middle of the afternoon telling her”I miss your smile from this morning” or”Last night was amazing!” 6. 7. 8. Do not monopolize it for a change. Then it is possible to share among her interests by viewing it with her. 9. Give to iron one of her tops or take her clothes to the dry cleaner rather than her being your live-in maid. 10. Clean up the toilet without being asked. Do not just sit there and ignore the clutter around the bathroom — Clean it up! Clean up. If you know it drives her mad to see water splashed all over the sink, dry that place after you use it. 11. If you work out together, offer to train her rather than rushing through your workout and then not allowing her workout at exactly the exact same time. 12. Do this and enjoy it! 13. Next time she gives you a massage, give her a massage the following day. Offer it! Don’t just say you will give her a massage… take action! 14. Surprise her by making programs. Tell her”We are going out tonight honey” You can even just go out for a drink or dinner someplace. It is taking the initiative that is critical. 15. Have a date just like when you first started dating. 16. Do not wait for her to call you. It’s very easy to keep girls satisfied. It is not about what you give them what presents you give them. That is a cop out. It is the little things. The men who make the biggest mistake would be the people who ignore their girl then all of a sudden give them a costly gift to make up for this. That doesn’t make up for it whatsoever. ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS. A whole list of advantages is here.–

Here are some suggestions to get you started.

The article 16 Small Things To Keep Your Woman Happy So She Doesn’t Have To Ask appeared on The Great Men Project.

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The Way to Maintain Your Sex Life Going as Long as Possible

It is a real fear–but often an unnecessary one.

Men are concerned about aging, and {} almost a taboo topic to discuss.

It does not have to be like that. There are lots of ways for men to keep their sex life going for as long as they need.

Keep your sex life going by continually improving your relationships.

Relationships are critical to our health and happiness. They can affect our general health, happiness and vitality. Here are three quick tips for continually enhancing your relationships.

  1. Live a fully real life. Self-awareness is one of the sexiest traits a person can have. This means that you can”be” in precisely the exact same time you grow and change. Stay true to your values–but at exactly the same time, continue to learn. Do not think you know all of it.
  2. Love deeply also. You are never too old to learn how to love yourself and others more fully. Engage your unique calling during your lifetime. Help others.

Too many elderly men grew up with beliefs and attitudes that inform us: Men should be strong and independent. We will need to address our own problems rather than whine, show our vulnerability, or request support. These approaches are part of what we call”the Man Box” since they keep us cut off from others.

Keep finding ways to genuinely connect with other people, and true intimacy and sex can continue to be a part of your life.

This can be a vicious cycle–physical problems cause fear of more issues. This is compounded by social and cultural pressures that guys need to be able to repair things by themselves. Sexual dysfunction isn’t a joke–but you would not know it by how most media talks about it.

The thing is-men are less lonely than they think. Over half of men and women over age 40 experience erectile dysfunction. However, it should not be something you dread. It may be solved; it simply can not be fixed alone. Try a customized strategy, with medical professionals who focus on the issue. By way of instance, Universal Men’s Clinics combine personalized attention with modern medication to treat erectile dysfunction safely and efficiently. Or, you might realize that the challenge is Low Testosterone or premature ejaculation. Whatever the issue, ignoring it will not help.

(Believe it or not, it is not all about you!)

As soon as you’re feeling healthy and positive and good about your relationships with others and yourself –guess what. You may turn your attention to your spouse.

Don’t be worried about technique as much as knowing your spouse. Be {} about what turns your partner on. You just might find that is a terrific aphrodisiac for you, too.

And when your spouse is feeling great, we can practically guarantee you will too.

There is no reason to fear the ending of sex and intimacy as we get older. Sure, it may change in certain ways. Maybe things slow down a bit. Maybe they are not as extreme in ways they were in our childhood –but more extreme in different ways.

Humans have an unbelievable superpower. They could adapt, and change, and learn and develop. And that’s extremely alluring to most people. It’s what is going to keep your sex life going as long as you want it to.

Sponsored by Universal Men’s Clinics

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The Way to Be Appealing No Matter What You Look Like

Here Is How Ugly Men, Average Men and Handsome Men Can Find Love

From birth, girls are told they have to be beautiful. They are faced by the message everywhere they look — style billboards, magazine covers, pictures and music videos. 

But even though shallow view of women is unquestionably not equally put on young boys growing up, that does not mean that men are not conscious of their looks in any respect.

That feeling of inferiority, whether it’s about your looks or about anything else, really can hamper your ability to discover romantic success. Not because of the way you really seem, however, but because if you are expecting others to treat you badly, you are going to be starting every date and flirtatious conversation off on the wrong foot. 

But no matter what you look like, it is likely to have relationship success. The most charming average-looking man will have far more success on the dating scene than a devastatingly handsome man with a profoundly unpleasant character, and a so-called nasty guy who makes the people he is with texture great will be more appealing to many people than a decent-looking man who treats everyone he moves like crap. 

Do not believe me? To prove it, we talked to a relationship coach and two psychologists concerning the relative unimportance of appearances when it comes to relationship success. 

It Is Time to Quit Overestimating the Importance of Looks

“Men put far too much significance on their appearances, especially straight men,” says Connell Barrett, a relationship coach with The League and the creator of DatingTransformation.com. “We project our world view onto girls. Men prioritize visual attractiveness, so we assume women do the same. But girls are more attracted to behaviour, confidence and intelligence. Good looks are a wonderful bonus to girls, but a man can [be ugly or handsome], provided that he makes his date feel good vibes. For the majority of women, physical beauty does not crack top 10.”

This focus on looks is seldom a case of guys patting themselves on the back for being handsome. In actuality, many men who may be considered traditionally handsome still see their looks as underwhelming or unsatisfactory. 

“It is not just average-looking guys [worrying about their looks],” notes Barrett. “Many objectively handsome men fight this anxiety because they do not have six-pack abs or runway-model looks.”

All that anxiety does not add up to much, based on Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness.

“I generally feel that (straight) guys underestimate the value of looks with relationship,” he says. “While there isn’t any definition of success that is objective, I {} men could work on becoming more compassionate with themselves and concentrate on what they do bring to the table instead of what they believe they’re lacking. This will assist them seem more confident and self-aware, and those are extremely attractive qualities.”

Things to Focus on Rather Than Your Looks

“There is so much media attention on seems that all of us get the impression that looks are {} ,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of”Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.” 

Instead, she suggests guys consider focusing more on their grooming habits. “While fashions vary, being clean and tidy is always appealing. There is a grunge look being promoted now, but do not be too gritty. Clean your act up, wear some acceptable clothes, and look your very best.”

If you are already well-groomed but you still feel like your looks set you at a disadvantage, you will find loads of additional things people search for in a man partner, no matter their gender. 

“A man can do many things to become more appealing,” says Barrett. “He can create his sense of humor because everybody loves to laugh. He can become a better, more current listener because everybody loves to be heard. He can communicate in a more expressive, less filtered manner because a guy who’tells it like it is’ is magnetic.”

Even outside of self love, an easy mental switch can help you feel more confident. According to Barrett, a man who is trying hard to feel handsome should”concentrate on and attribute the traits which make him a wonderful catch — the fact that he, state, speaks three languages has a cool job or makes amazing guacamole.”

How to Have Dating Success Regardless of What You Look Like

How to Have Dating Success If You Are Insecure About Your Looks

Step one to beating a sense of ugliness in the dating game? Working on your own confidence.

“Insecurity about looks is kryptonite to get a man’s dating success,” says Barrett. “If you are out on a date and burdened by thoughts of’I am not good looking,’ then you are toast.”

How much fun could you have if you can tell your date was super insecure about their looks?

“Play to your strengths,” he adds. “Tell terrific stories. Crack jokes. Be vulnerable. Find commonalities. Learn How to flirt.

Tessina asserts that connection is the true place that appeal manifests itself, and link can develop with no real regard to looks. 

“You are at your most attractive once you’re a great listener, who obviously cares about what your date is saying,” she says. “Show interest. Don’t let nerves permit you to talk nonstop. Give them a great deal of opportunities to tell you who they are and what they enjoy.”

And even if you’re uncertain about some part of your body you {} change, whether you are too short or too tall, too heavy or too slight, you can put a new spin on how you come across with the ideal style and grooming options. 

“In relationship, your looks do not matter, but your appearance matters,” says Barrett. “You can not change your face without a surgeon’s knife, but you can update your style today. Buy shirts and trousers that seem fitter for your body, wear quality shoes, get a fantastic haircut. Dressing sharp makes you feel more confident, and if you are more confident, you are more attractive.” 

If you’re not certain where to start, think about asking for help from somebody whose fashion sense you honor, or by requesting salespeople in clothes stores what they would recommend. 

Regardless, if you are prepared to devote a little effort in that section, it may totally revolutionize your appearance (and your assurance ) without much time or even cash. 

Feeling like you are average-looking can feel like a death sentence to your dating opportunities. 

However, even if you don’t feel as if your looks are holding you back, feeling stuck in the middle can sap you of your confidence in a heartbeat — especially in a contemporary dating culture that could feel completely looks-obsessed occasionally. 

But, based on some anecdotal data, what really resonates in dating program photos is not your looks so much as how happy you look. 

“With Tinder and the programs, the beauty of your photographs largely corresponds to the feelings you communicate in the shots,” notes Barrett. “I have run numerous evaluations on Photofeeler, and images which reveal a guy smiling or laughing speed twice or three times as appealing as the shots where the men do a smoldering, [runway version ]-type pose. To be more appealing on Tinder and get more games, dress good, look in the lens and grin.”

Tessina, for her part, notes that average-looking men can take their beauty up a notch by being powerful conversationalists.

“Do not sound ordinary,” she advises. “Have some conversational topics that will interest a girl. Make sure she knows you care about who she is, not how she looks.”

How to Have Dating Success If You Are Confident in Your Appears

In comparison to all the visually lucky men out there, handsome men might think they have got it made on the dating scene, but as mentioned above, looks are not the be-all and end-all of attraction. 

Barrett, for one, warns handsome men to not get so cocky about their looks alone to get them dates. 

“Think about it like this,” he says. “Jerry Seinfeld said that famous comedians get a’grace period’ in the beginning of a performance, but after a couple of moments the audience says,’OK, time for you to send.’ In precisely the exact same manner, great-looking men can not rest on the laurels of the appearances.

Very good looks may cause people to seek you out in larger numbers, especially on looks-focused programs like Tinder, but love (and even great dates) is more than just a numbers game. 

If you are handsome as hell but feel lonely all the time or struggle to get games or very good conversations on internet dating sites and programs, trying to unhook your expectations and strategy from your appearances and focusing on what you can bring in terms of your character and creating authentic connections will do you a world of good when it comes to your love life — just as it will for men who feel like they’re ugly. 

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Frequent Sex for a Healthier You

Frequent Sex for a Healthier YouSex is significantly more than a way of procreation or recreation. Sex is also a potent indicator of our overall health and fitness. The ability to have sex at all is a manifestation of a specific amount of wellness in the body. As an example, a man who’s routinely not able to attain an erection may be suffering the early signs of diabetes, kidney disease, nerve damage, hormonal imbalance or some kind of vascular disease.

Importance of a healthy sex life

Are sexual dysfuntion issues at play?

Women that are not able to climax might be coping with a hormonal issue, a psychological disorder like depression, or a negative effect to medication. Anyone unable to participate in sex without getting short of breath or anxiety may have a cardiovascular disease. And guys struggling to ejaculate may have a growing prostate issue.

Numerous medical specialists think that gender and health are interrelated in more ways than one. As an example, there’s a strong consensus that prostate health and the frequency of the sexual activity are directly. The justification is based on how the body produces semen. The prostate, which produces semen, draw citric acid, potassium and zinc from the blood flow.

So, any dangerous, or carcinogenic (cancer-causing) agents within the bloodstream may also be drawn into the prostate. Voiding that fluid also voids contaminants, and the more often this is done, the less likely those carcinogens would be to cause cancer or other ailments.

However, no definitive study has been done to establish exactly this circumstance, even though a number of related studies have revealed that men who ejaculated at least five times per week during their 20s revealed a reduced chance of developing prostate cancer through middle age.

Bottom line, just do it

Although this theory may be contested by a few, there are other advantages to frequent intercourse. Pain management for migraines, back pain, muscle cramps can be achieved through the natural endorphins and corticosteroids released during arousal and orgasm.

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Sexual Difficulties - Too Drunk to Get Lucky

Sexual Difficulties - Too Drunk to Get LuckyPerhaps you have been outside enjoying a few drinks with friends or your girlfriend, and a couple of drinks become several beverages , or shots, along with the party really gets going strong? Of course you have… it is a huge part of why we continue to go out for happy hour after week. It’s a fantastic time. So you go home, hit the sheets and… nothing. Or, you get things started, but your little buddy taps out early. Or, you are deep in the action at just can not orgasm. In each of these scenarios, a whole lot of disappointment and humiliation is soon follow your sexual problems. What happened?!

Guide to figuring out your Sexual Difficulties

How alcohol affects your libido

The brief answer is that the alcohol is to blame. Butobviously, sexual problems do not follow every day of drinking. So it is not the only culprit. Since alcohol acts as a vasodilator (expands blood vessels), the change in blood flow required to support an erection can occasionally fight with other regions of the body where blood is rushing.

Likewise, alcohol is a nervous system depressant, meaning that sensations and bodily reaction can be slow, diminished, or less extreme. Along with the effects of alcohol are more powerful when you have not eaten, are dried, or have not slept.

Prepare ahead of your night out

So in case you know you are going to be knocking back a few alcoholic drinks, be certain that you also knock back lots of water and a few nutritionally balanced snacks (catch some peanut butter carrot sticks until you leave for the pub, or try to find something such as a veggie spring roll appetizer on the pub menu). And, based on the day of the week, consider a fast 30-minute power nap before you venture out to the club. You and your spouse will be better for this.

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