Yoni/Lingam Holding Healing


Before the movement there’s holding.

Before the stroke there is stillness.
Before the caress there’s quiet.

Among the most beautiful and effective’strokes’ of massage isn’t moving in any way.
It’s holding.
In presence, profound presence.
Holding with your own heart.
Holding.
Only resting your hands on the body.
With gentleness.
With love.
With the aim of just being with you.

Holding brings you into your own body.
I frequently use it as a ground massage.
It works towards the middle, bringing you to your heart.
It is where the connection starts.

There’s healing in being held.
No movement, no anticipation, no anticipation.
There’s the stillness of being.
And in time, the brain will still as the body quietens.

Create a room, a sacred space, a sensuous space.

Choose the components carefully, with stability.
Breathe, a couple of deep breaths to become present.
Look into your partner’s eyes.
With each other, bring up your hands to your heart center’s in the center of your chest.
Breathe.
Bring your palms forward to touch.
Acknowledge each other with whatever words are suitable, possibly different for a lover and a customer.

Comfortable.
Warm.
Cushions for support where they require.
Sit beside thembetween their legs.
Maintain a comfortable position so that you don’t need to move in this holding.
Place one hand in their Heart Centre, lightly.
Put your other hand in their yoni or lingam, lightly.
Close your eyes.
Proceed inside of yourself, to your heart, to your mind.
Breathe that into your own hands.
Let your hands melt to the shapes, the curves of the body.
Stay present.
As soon as your mind wanders return to your breath.
Hold them.
Melt into them.
Emotions will come and go.
Tears can come and go.
Trembling can come and go.
Hold them.
Stay present.
Breathe.

When it is time, your body will let you know when it is time, when it is time, slowly, so slowly, take your hands off their body.
Cover them.
Sit together.
Stay present.
Remain on your heart.
Stay in love.

Holding is a profound mediation of intimacy.
Within this quiet we releasewe feel.
Within this heat we become.
A present from the giving, a gift in the getting.
Breathe your gratitude for the sharing.
Breathe the chance.

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This post previously published on eroslife and is reprinted with the permission of the author.

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What’s Become Of Us?


There’s something which I’ve been hearing so much lately in my job.

‘I can not tell him that, it is going to hurt his self.’

‘If I say he’s going to tell me to not tell him what to do.’
Is that what our sexual voice is now, us guys?

‘I need to discover a way to say it that will not upset him, and I must wait for the ideal time.’
Is that what our psychological voice is now, is guys?

The majority of the men and women who come to the workshops and retreats are girls.

What’s become of us guys?

Is that a space too full of fear?

And what exactly are we afraid ofbeing vulnerable, being disclosed, not knowing enough, being emotional, not understanding how to love, not being able to be romantic, being too proud, being too closed, not understanding how to be different, do different?
What’s the power, the unbelievable power we have contributed for this fear, to this vulnerability, to this willingness, our partners can’t tell us much without us being hurt, retreating, shutting down?

Do not we see how much they want to give us pleasure, how much they would like us to learn how to pleasure them?

Do not we see just how much love they have for us, and how much they are open to out of us?
Do not we see just how much they need to heal, to learn, to grow, to link, and just how much they would like us to do the same?

And we sit at the panic, at the shut-down, shut-off space, where what we have to provide is withdrawal, anger, frustration, disconnect and’Do not tell me what to do, do not tell me the way to touch you, how to kiss you, how to…’

Do not we see how she would love to worship us, love us?

And just how much she longs for that from us?

Do not we see how open her heart could be, and how much she wants to feel ours?

Do not we see just how much she’d love to research and experience?

It is so interesting when you consider the Neo-Tantric groups, the Conscious Sexuality pages, just how much there is for women, about women, about female sexuality, feminine sensuality, feminine power. It’s beautiful!

And it is time there was for us.
It is time we stepped out and up, us guys.
It is time we made more spaces for us to talk about, to speak, to link, to heal, to learn, to research.

Ourselves.

I had a fascinating insight following a Biodanza Vivencia a little while ago. I was walking out behind two girls, and the way that they shared, not so much what, how, brought me to determine how significant the sisterhood is, how much support there is in how girls of consciousness are with each other.

And it brings me to ask, what about us, where’s the brotherhood?

The brotherhood of the center.

The brotherhood that lets us feel the strength of a man’s arms holding us{} us.

The brotherhood that lets us be seen by the eyes of a person.

It’s time.
Time for us to perform our job.
It is time.

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The Slow Magic


Slow brings us into existence.

All else drifts away naturally when we exist.
There is absolutely not any struggle in slow, there’s surrender, to this moment, to our own body, to our breath, to feeling, to feeling.
In slow there’s flow. The way we proceed becomes a pure expression of the silent within.
This is the silent of intimacy, of relationship.
In slow we’re aware, expanded.
In slow we believe we go deeper, softly, easily.
Nothing is forced, we’re aligned.
In slow there’s softness, an energy which moves within me, within you, that surrounds usmoves between us cocoons us.
In slow there isn’t any time, we drift into endlessness.

Allow the slow start with your breath.
Into your heart, from your heart.
Deepening.

Let your kiss be slow, the assembly of your lips a caress that is barely there.
Allow the dancing of your mouths be slow, an exploration which sips me.
Let your signature be slow, so slow.

I feel your skin, your body with a stroke which just moves. Your curves, your valleys, your hills, endless under my slowly moving hands.

Gradually I breathe you to me, your scent, your breath. I fill my lungs with you to the base of my breath.

Let your marriage be slow, so slow, even slower.
Let your body get your fan as a flower opens to the morning sunshine.
Allow yourself to be drawn into this sacred flower, spreading her petals in exquisite sensation.

At the slow you breathe your growth, filling her with your warmth.
From the slow, you dancing deeper and deeper in the liquid puzzle.
Each movement, every breath, fills your entire body.

In the slow, you’re open for the energy to move through you.
From the slow, you go beyond the mind, beyond the body, into consciousness.

There’s healing in the slow.
Deep recovery, deep release as that we have held onto, what has held onto us, dissolves.

There’s intimacy from the slow.
Deep intimacy.
The slow brings us into existence.
Presence is an element of familiarity.

There’s magic in the slow.
It takes a while, it takes practice to be current.
It takes some time for us to understand and feel and love the subtle, and oh, how delicious the subtle is.

Millimeter by millimeter we start, micro-movements.
It takes a while for us to find the place in us that may be without continuous stimulation, so that allows power to move, to flow, to sense that stream, to observe it and maintain it.
There’s learning from the slow, teaching from the slow because it draws us deeper inside and we listen to the inner voice, we learn to listen to it talk without words.

There’s magic in the slow.

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<!

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Pelvic Tension, Sexual Tension, Life Tension


All of us carry an enormous quantity of tension in our bodies and in various areas of our being.
This tension is one of the best blocks to us experiencing profound heights of sensual and sexual pleasure.

The tension we hold is now second nature for so many people. In actuality, beyond that, it has become our character. It is so deeply ingrained that we frequently don’t even know it is there, and over that, we’ve got no idea how we would be without it. It has become our definition.
The tension goes deeply into our bodies, into muscles, nerves, ligaments, glands and organs. It runs through our minds and hearts, effecting emotions and thoughts.

And sensations.

And Sensations.
The pressure we hold, especially in and around our pelvis is among the best blocks to us having more and deeper fulfilling pleasure experiences.
Going even farther than that, it is a huge and frequently unacknowledged reason behind many sexual problems for both women and men.
In men, it manifests in erection and premature ejaculation problems, and in women, it has a massive effect on anorgasmia, yoni tension, and painful sex.

We hold things there, virtually all of us. And it is deep stuff, from way back. The bodily tension is directly linked to our emotional patterns, our guilt, our shame, our humiliation. To everything, we have had to do to find acceptance and love. To each time we gave ourselves off. To each time we felt not good enough, and all of the decisions and insecurities that come out of that.

This is what stays in our pelvic muscles. And include the tension of modern life, the constant tension we live with in a world always on the edge of insanity.

Letting go into joy, letting go deeply into joy gets harder and harder. Having orgasms, for people who do, is simple. Deep pleasure, another story.

The pressure in our pelvis impacts on the whole body. The greater the tension and stiffness there, the greater the tension throughout your body. Here is an interesting little aside, more headaches and neck aches could be alleviated through deep gluteal massage compared to shoulder and neck massage. And much more headaches and stress-related ailments, that’s the single most significant cause of illness in the world, would be alleviated through profound pleasure experiences more than anything else.

The pressure in our pelvis changes how the whole body sits. And the effect on the sexuality is huge. 1 instance of this, which affects a lot of women, is that constriction from the pelvis makes it incredibly hard for the G-Spot to become alert and aroused. Another is that all these men seek sexual control to deepen their own enjoyment, in addition to that of their spouses. Tension in the muscles of the groin and deep within the anus makes this extremely tricky.

Deep release work of those muscles not only increases our pleasure chances but releases the entire body into a more balanced and relaxed condition. And there is more.

Gabor Mate talks about two ways of being.

The first is defensive and protective, which we spend the majority of our lives in. This is a condition of tension and survival. It is a state of tension, of the brain, of their body, of the heart and of our vitality.

It is a state of regeneration. Movement of any kind gets difficult in this nation.

Another way of being is engaged and open. In this we are curious, we are exploring, we’re learning, we are expanding, we are moving.

There’s rhythm.

The rhythm of discharge, the rhythm of comfort, the rhythm of letting go.

For so many people, our tension, that which we hold on, in every way, has come to define us. As we begin to give up this we’re in a position to redefine ourselves, become somebody different and live otherwise, experience differently, feel differently.

It’s really a no-brainer.
Less tension, more comfort, way more pleasure.

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Beyond Pleasure


There is a fascinating idea in Conscious Sexuality that lets us look at sexuality differently and opens up a huge possibility.

It is about going beyond joy. For many people, sex is about pleasure, about climax. And I need to say that I am rather happy about that, so much of my job is helping you’ve got more pleasure, and so lots of my assignments are about pleasure.

But there is more, so much more.

There is a context for why sex is about pleasure–that is normally in the area of fascination, of love, of a connection of some description. And within this circumstance, we come together to experience pleasure.

What happens if we take pleasure out as a target?

It is going to be there anyway since our genitals are involved. And we’ve got all these remarkable nerves and pleasure centers which are stimulated anyway. But let us go to some place where there is more. And in this, in addition to dropping the objective of pleasure, perhaps we can drop the story and circumstance also.

What happens if gender became about energy, about exploring a few of the possibilities of sexual energy? About building that in the body to use for meditation, for creativity, for inspiration, etc..

We can learn how to direct the energy to certain places in the body that we may need it.
We can learn how to channel it into imagination.
We can use this to achieve altered states of consciousness, as a means to have a religious experience.

What happens if I want to concentrate on my heart through sexual activity, go deeply into that energy by breathing, by placing all my aim on that heart, and what is going on in the rest of my body is secondary? How about researching different sensations in my body, in my yoni, in my lingam?
How about using gender as a tool for self-inquiry, what will different experiences bring me up emotionally, what will they activate, and how do I heal these? How about these experiences being a part of dropping the labels and limitations that I might have accepted from others, or taken on myself?

What makes this interesting is that I believe we need to go deeply into joy first.

So a lot people struggle with aspects of enjoyment. So many women aren’t having orgasms, are having painful intercourse, aren’t able to let go, have suppressed their desire and their sexual passion.

So many guys have reaction and ejaculation issues, are not able to let go, have suppressed their sexual desire and sexual passion.

So lots of people, in a universe of incredible stress battle with libido problems, with familiarity, with being sexually accurate and participated.

We must go into joy first, heal these aspects of ourselves, express and explore them. We will need to understand who we are sexually.

We must also explore consciousness, know what holds us in patterns, the constraints we live with, the beliefs that keep us alive conditioned lives. Then we begin to bring these together, and in this open the doors to a world of experiences that express our sexuality in a different manner.

We do not stop having pleasure.
We do not stop going deeper into joy, since there’s so much that’s beautiful and strong in these experiences.
We expand.
We enlarge our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our energy.

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The Endless Worlds of Sensual Massage


Among the most gorgeous things about learning and experiencing Sensual Massage, Heart Touch, Sexual Energy Massage, Energy Healing Massage etc is the endless world of possibilities they provide.

A few years back I was in a sex expo giving talks, doing some massage demo and teaching workshops. I had had an idea for a little while about enlarging the possibilities of sensation, and so I called a friend who had been a Dom and had a conversation with him about what I thought we can do.

It is a bit experience that takes you deep into your body, into your energy, with a {} of sensations.
It is a place where feeling and emotion come together.
It is an exploration of the possibilities of feeling, from the subtle, oh so subtle, to a little firmer, to the sting of something which sends waves throughout your whole body.
It is deeply pleasurable.
It is a meditation on touch.
It may take you to an expanded state of consciousness.
It can be amazingly healing.
It is about heightened feeling and the awakening to new emotions, to being touched in places and ways you might not have before.
It opens doors to enlarging your self-perception.
It is erotic.
It’s a dream.
It is a space of creative play.
It is a ritual of conscious connection.

The deeper I go the more I see how the energy is in the center, in touching as an expression of love.
The deeper I go the more I see how touch-deprived so a lot of us are, and just how much recovery comes from being touched with love.
The deeper I go the more I see how disconnected we are, so many people, from ourselves, from our feelings, from our bodies, from feeling, and out of each other.
The deeper I go the more I see just how stressed so a lot of us are without realizing it because it’s become our default setting.
The deeper I go the more I see the power of relationship, with ourselves, through signature and the myriad gifts that attracts us.
The deeper I go the more I see how these encounters, these magical massages, and that phrase gets so limited occasionally, can enlarge us, free us, open us to life in so many ways.

And I love that after doing and teaching massage, bodywork and touch for more than 20 years there are constantly new dimensions and possibilities to explore and experience.

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Join The Great Men Project Community

All levels get to see The Great Men Project website AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS–combine as many groups and courses as you need for the whole year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to some ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–along with other benefits listed below the form. {Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a {} ad-free viewing experience.|}

Register New Account

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2. See the site with no advertisements when logged in!
3.
***
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 annually ) includes all of the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
***
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you aren’t ready to join the complete conversation but wish to support our mission anyway. This is for men and women that think –just like we do–that this conversation about men and changing characters and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can get now.

Need more details? Click here.

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