6 Reasons Why We Stay In Bad Relationships

Why do we often find it tough to leave behind a connection that’s not working out anymore?

Not all relationships will emerge as you wish it to. Some relationships begin on great terms, undergo trials of highs and lows, nevertheless survive because the connection has all of the basic requirements — connectivity, trust, and respect.

But because of a variety of uncontrollable factors, both external and internal, a connection might become a toxic one.

A bad relationship is one that’s long dead, has no flicker, is full of miscommunication or sometimes a complete lack of communication, repeated conflicts, and disagreements, lack of compassion, respect, and understanding. A connection that hinges on misuse and manipulation is the worst type.

But surprisingly, people keep dragging a connection, even after knowing {} not yielding any decent results for both of the partners. Some of us will cross miles to keep encouraging an undeserving relationship.

Just how far will you go to save a connection from failing?

Bad relationships are anything but self-degrading and self-sabotaging resulting in ultimate suffering on both ends.

Even if there are a lot of available opportunities in the dating world, what is it that keeps somebody anchoring on to a bad connection?

Or is it a custom?

Let us have a deeper look at what makes you stick into a poor relationship with your entire heart and soul. To prevent being lonely.

It significantly lowers an individual’s self-confidence and distorts overall self-perception. Somebody that has been to the grasp of loneliness won’t ever like to return back there.

Some people have the belief that having a spouse and having the ability to flaunt it raises your social status and standing.

The mere physical presence of your spouse, however abusive, how inconsiderate, how indifferent your he/she’s, can sometimes make you feel comfortable. We often hesitate to give up our’habit’ of this individual.

The notion of waking up in the morning to emptiness could be unnerving to some. It isn’t because you intensely love being with your spouse. You may also ignore each other only after you wake up, but it’s simply because staying alone hasn’t been usual for such a long time.

You always keep questioning your own value, your abilities and what you’re bringing to the connection.

Low self-esteem fools us to believe we always deserve much less than what we’re getting in the relationship as the significance we place ourselves is much lower compared to our deserving price.

These folks often measure their values based on if they have a partner or not, whether the spouse accepts them or not, values them or not, or enjoys them or not.

When you have low self-esteem, you need continuous validation and acceptance from someone. And if that man is someone who you adore it makes you feel appreciated and desired.

If you’re continuing a bad connection, which has nothing to offer you, ask yourself, Are you placing a worthy worth to yourself?

As a matter of fact, when you start putting yourself on a higher base, you may come to understand there are innumerable reasons to create an exit from the relationship.

Sadly, when a man is overly emotionally determined by their spouse, most often than not they have low self-esteem(moving back to stage 2). This is why, they measure their self-worth concerning somebody else, besides themselves.

They identify themselves to be fused with another person that they often wind up ignoring their own perception, thoughts, and feelings, unless and until they are verified and accepted by somebody else.

Getting out of a connection, even if it’s harming them becomes inevitably tricky for them because each of their behaviour has to be validated, emotionally and guaranteed warranted by their spouse. These people barely survive if they remain unmarried.

4. Comfort in Familiarity and fear of doubt.

Some relationships are a mere “to battle with a known devil is better than facing an unknown devil”.

We rationalize with ourselves that we may already be receiving the best we could.

A person acquainted with comfort, predictability, and heat of regular may genuinely feel perturbed when placing from a relationship. Who knows if another relationship they pursue will place them in a more stressful situation or not. The fear of getting themselves in a worse connection compared to the present one keeps them suffering in a relationship.

5. Rejection and failure.

What if they get rejected by another person they try to maintain a relationship with?

Some people can’t fully accept the fact that their relationship is on the point of failure and they need to make an exit.

Even if they do, are they able to invest themselves emotionally and physically, in precisely the exact same degree as they’re currently doing?

These questions make it tougher for them to decide for the destiny of a messed up relationship.

6. New investment of energy and time.

What people who are unable to come from a bad relationship worry the most about is spent time and energy.

For them it a shameful occasion to maneuver from a relationship they have built for such a long time. ‘Ending a connection’ just as it’s not working out well isn’t their ideology. They believe that adhering to the conclusion, even though it degrades the emotional and mental wellbeing of both spouses is the ideal attitude to hold.

However, believe me, the more you permit the negativity to influence you, the harder it is going to be in the long run. If the connection is dead, then you should end it. And you ought to end it at the earliest.

Maybe the most you can anticipate

from a connection that goes bad is

to come out of it with a couple great

songs. — Marianne Faithfull

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Sometimes a relationship becomes a toxic one. Why do we find it so difficult to leave?

The article 6 Reasons Why We Stay In Bad Relationships appeared on The Great Men Project.

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5 Reasons Why You Still Miss Your Abusive Ex

From Emilia Gordon

Do you still miss your abusive ex?

Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with you.

BUT EVEN WHEN I STOP CRYING, EVEN WHEN WE FALL ASLEEP AND I’M NESTLED IN HIS ARMS, THIS WILL LEAVE ANOTHER SCAR. Nobody WILL SEE IT. BUT IT WILL BE THERE. AND EVENTUALLY All THE SCARS WILL HAVE SCARS, AND THAT’S ALL I’LL BE–ONE BIG SCAR OF A LOVE GONE WRONG.” — AMANDA GRACE, BUT I LOVE HIM.

How often have you believed that that your ex was an abuser which you’ve been fortunate enough to eliminate them? You may pretend that grin when your peers tell you that you should be happy as you aren’t in that damaging relationship anymore. However, you can not confess that you miss your ex, knowing well that they were abusive.

You may ponder upon the fact that you’re in pain throughout the connection and now that it is over, you should be happy about it. Why then do you miss them? What is wrong with you?

Well, the reality is, there’s not anything wrong with you. An abusive relationship requires a toll on the victim’s mental health that’s the reason why you miss your abusive ex. It may appear to you that you’ve been able to escape the relationship but that getting out is essentially withdrawal. What you’ve done is pulled yourself while deep inside, you miss your ex that is perfectly legitimate.

5 Reasons Why You Still Miss Your Abusive Ex!

Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological illness once the victim is made to create a mad compassion for the abuser. You love your abusive spouse so much so you warrant the abuses and wouldn’t wish to leave them. No matter how much abuse you’re, you wouldn’t leave because you’re emotionally attached to your spouse . For each violent action, you will attempt to justify it by blaming yourself by taking compassion on the abuser.

‘She had been bullied in school’,’ he had a dreadful childhood’,’ she had been ill-treated by her relatives’,’ he lost his dad’, etcetera are your explanations . Since the individual has already uttered their love upon you, it is going to be difficult for you to feel that they’re abusive. Even after leaving them, you will still miss your abusive ex.

(2) You miss the good times you spent with your ex:

Abusive partners aren’t in any way abusive at first. They spend a great amount of time demonstrating testimonies of the love for their partners before showing their true colors. Thus, you believe in these moments of love while your abusive ex was faking it all along.

These good times make you think that this abusive relationship isn’t permanent; maybe your spouse will change and you’ll receive back these moments. What you don’t see that there is no question of altering for your spouse. Your spouse had these traits and faked love before you.

(3) Your spouse had a traumatic past:

Our life isn’t a merry journey on a boat. We all have our share of chaotic waves. We’ve got our traumas but the intensity may be different. It may happen that your ex had more injury than you. As you loved them so much, you thought that the abuses are simply their way of coping up with their injury.

But regardless of how much trauma you’ve gone through, it is inhumane to make others suffer for it. You want to see that it is an act of foolishness to warrant such harmful behaviour by previous injury. If your ex had a problem coping up with the injury, you’re there for them to support. There are many different support groups and counselling centers too. You can’t be a punching bag. So, stop considering your abusive ex.

In abusive relationships, the predator makes the victim suffer with shame. They make things seem as though it’s your own fault. This makes you believe that you’re the reason the connection failed and thus, you should be ashamed of yourself. So, even after getting out of this connection, you think that you should be blamed for the break-up; you miss your abusive ex because you’re made to believe that they’re not accountable for it.

(5) You still think things could have been different:

You fell in love with your abusive ex due to certain good qualities you’ve observed inside them. They had been the person you’ve always wanted to be with. When they became abusive, you’re manipulated into thinking that everything is your fault. As you’re in love with all the good qualities they’ve displayed, you still feel that perhaps things might have been different had you never behaved in certain ways.

It is important that you come from these ideas and understand that you deserve to be loved back also. You can’t eliminate the memories but you can ignore them. Do not let yourself manipulated by this kind of negativity. Very good luck!

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

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A whole list of advantages is here.

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