When My Boyfriend and I’ve Issues, He Just Shuts Down. Ask Allana.

You requested Allana: When my boyfriend and I have troubles, he simply shuts down. He desires for this to blow over. How do I get him to convey?

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What I have discovered from the people that I bring as training clients is they generally have big hearts. They are extremely kinesthetic, they feel things so deeply, which is amazing because they have the capability to love intensely and have intimate deep relationships and really allow the deliciousness of being in our bodies come alive.

The other side of it is that when we hurt, we actually hurt. It hurts a bit more than what other people can experience. It could take a bit longer to bounce back than others once we have not developed certain capacities to browse this.

What I’d say to you is give him space. Image what’s it going to feel like if someone is coming after you and pushing? He’s going to shield even more. As you give him space, do not judge him because he will feel it and feel it, and he isn’t going to speak with you. Your job because you give him space and do not judge him is to breathe and feel. The suppressing of the feeling just sticks at a location and you get nowhere. And this is a blueprint, you probably have a number of layers you’ve stuffed down. So my request is that you breathe and feel.

What happens when we really sit in the fire and breathe, the energy starts to change, to dissipate, to be discharged and you can rest on your body again. You may come home to yourself. You can be connected to the entire world and your instinct and your understanding, if you’re ready to experience this. I am not saying it is easy or enjoyable. It’s not but it’s just temporary, it isn’t forever. The resisting, that’s suffering. The pain of feeling it — that’s extreme. On the other side, you’re likely to find, I promise some wisdom and insight into why that fight occurred. Something he may be missing, something you may be missing. Something you may actually have a fantastic conversation about.

Step three, is to convey from this place of non-judgment. Then once you tackle him, let it be at a sandwich –“I love you. I care. I’m committed that we have an awesome relationship.” First bit of bread. At the center –“I discovered perhaps I was a controlling and pushy” OR”Perhaps I was not appreciating you.” Whatever insight you’ve got on your moment of kindness. Or perhaps you miss him or perhaps you just want to have more time together. You’re likely to get some insight so share it as an invitation. Place the bread on the end –“I’d like to hear how I could be a better girlfriend for you. Let you know how much I love you. How I can make our relationships much better.” So once you have that sort of conversation and you aren’t coming, where the one thing he can do is be defensive, it’s an invitation to reconnect into oneness, romantic relationship, and conversation.

I anticipate a terrific breakthrough for you. For those who have any difficulty with this at all, you aren’t alone. So in case you prefer to reserve a plan sessions, for me to maintain space for the both of you, or even just for me to allow you to feel through all of the discomfort so that you can rest in peace and listen to your own instinct, I’d like this — allanapratt.com/strategy. Only you and I or as a couple. I’m here for you and I believe in you.

All my love,
Allana

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How Can a Widower Begin Again? Ask Allana.

Is it common for a widower to feel as though he could never or ever will have the ability to touch, kiss or make love to another girl like he did to his passed love?

You requested Coach Allana Pratt: My wife of nearly 14 years as of September 23, 2014 had passed away. Is it common for a widower to feel like he could not or ever will have the ability to touch, kiss or make love to another girl like he did to his passed love? Because that is we are I am at with it all. I can not see myself doing what I did with my spouse to any other girl. It is like I must be a completely new guy and learn from the start again and I do not need to change who I am.

My sweet lovely amazing friend. Your love ran deep. You lived your totality with her, yes? How could you? This was something unique and special that only the two of you shared. Who she was brought out a particular part of you that just she did…and that is beautiful amazing and complete.

Now you’re in the void… the middle floor, the recovery… the learning that you are without her. I can not imagine how hard this must be. Yet to make it through this, I know you’re getting stronger, more thankful, more current perhaps to savor moments in life, more interested in what is next to energy in as and through you, what your heritage is all about, what your calling actually is now, yes?

And thus who you are getting is, wider, deeper, richer, stronger, softer… different, yes? And thus that you’ll be with who you meet, when that is divinely inspired to happen, you’ll differ with her… you have grown, evolved, changed… and thus encounters with this new spouse won’t be the same, they’ll be new. It is not that you need to learn to be a completely new man from the beginning again… though I get you will feel like this… however you’re making a new world, obtaining a new part of you… yet it’ll be added into the magnificent man you are… you can not change who you are if you tried! You’re discovering even more about who you are… and in time, you may share that with another girl… for now start to let this enlarged evolved you present the world in friendships, in chance encounters…

And in case you haven’t yet, work with a coach like myself that will help you navigate this transition from the most tender, affectionate, heartfelt and powerful way possible, for the greatest evolution in no hurry at all, in heavenly moment. Navigating death is not a linear street, nor an easy one, and in my experience it is also among the most amazing gifts when somebody is able to help you navigate the richness and conscious growth potential. It would be a humble privilege to encourage you on this portion of your beautiful journey. If interested, speak to my supervisor at [email protected] and state who you are and let us join for a strategy session to find out if we are a match for this gorgeous work. You can achieve this.

Tremendous love and blessings, tenderness and care,
Allana
xoxoxo

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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I Have Custody of My Teen Kids–But Now Nobody Will Date Me. Ask Allana.

When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest.

Question: I’m 59 years old, I am a guy, I have custody of my three teenaged kids. When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest. Or perhaps it’s me…

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Response : This is an amazing question! Needless to say, once you aren’t in dad mode, you’re in hunk style, stud style, sexual man mode, all of the time on the planet style — of course, you’re likely to have more girls around. You have got the time, the energy, the money — the whole thing.

So now that you have children, and it seems like full-time, now you’re daddy mode all the time. It’s actually no different than a mother that loses her mojo, you are a father that has lost his mojo. Again you are in daddy mode, supplier mode. He’s making lunches and dropping children off and navigating crap that goes on. You’re giving all of your love, your focus, your patience, your playfulness — you’re giving everything to your children so there is not much left for you and you are not in that noble badass sexual energy in your pelvis, you’re most likely a good deal on your mind and in your heart, but not too much on your sexual energy.

So, it’s most likely circumstantial, but it is also lively and what I recommend is that you make time for daddy — daily and certainly once a week. What is it that makes you feel like a badass? What’s that gets you on your body? What is it that makes up you your advantage, risking, focusing on your heritage, your calling? What are you here in the world for? It may be being a daddy. That might be your calling, and that energy can be used to go do some martial arts, go surfing, go into character. Perhaps you prefer to write, join a writing group. Perhaps you like to behave — do that. Or simply spend some time on your own body, simply go to the gym and get strong. Or perhaps go to yoga and give up all your stress. There’s something you require in order to fall into your belly and fall down into your pelvis, where you could feel that sexual energy again. So that even though you’re a dad a lot of the time, you’re still a man.

While that’s certainly lots of doing energy, there’s also another side of receptivity — getting, allowing a girl to be committed to you. You have got to make space, you have got to open also. Quite often when we”do…do…do”, we do not open and let. So, I would like you to begin imagining what would a life that completely turns you on look like? Feel like? Smell like? Taste like? Your frustration is supported. Take some time to be a guy.

I have a recommendation. I have a curriculum named Dear Lover and it’s six weeks. It’s amazing, it’s interviews, my program, and it moves through clearing out any blocks you have in your heart, on your novelty, whatever you will need to forgive others, or yourself, so you may just be completely present and grounded for her. It was created as a webinar therefore it had been designed with two private sessions inside but what I provide is two discounted sessions once you get the DVD, so we can do this profound work. You can not see your blind spot, as amazing as you are. I can not see mine either. So as you’re going through this, let us make sure that you are going all of the way to the center, so you could get lasting change and maintain a space for love today.

I look forward to seeing that you updated to the 2 sessions so that we can join Skype or on the conference line and you can be an amazing, sexy, father.

All my love.

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest.

The article I Have Custody of My Teen Kids—But Now Nobody Will Date Me. Ask Allana. Appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

I Believe My Boyfriend is Co-Dependent

Q: I feel as though my boyfriend has co-dependency difficulties. I have a whole lot of friends — he’s…well me. I can not be all that he has!

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I can only imagine how frustrating this could be for you and my concern is that this will make you finally push him away. There are 3 steps you can follow so as to help change this and strengthen your relationship.

To see my whole reply, check out the entire article and video post on Digital Romance, ideal HERE. You can also find this movie and many other on YouTube, so please be sure to subscribe to Digital Romance TV

Also, in case you’ve got a burning question about love, relationship or life in general for me, comment below, or ask me on Twitter @AllanaPratt and only use #AllanaQandA.

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

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How Can I Get Her Back?

Q: I have been facing a problem from nearly a year now and can not find out what to do…. I’ve liked a woman since I was 4 years old, we were friends — met her in a course. We had spent plenty of time with one another. But somehow things went wrong and we are now separated from one another. I did everything I could to get her back but no results.

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4 years old? This is the only real definition of a long term love affair! Without some of the powerful facts (what went wrong and everything you’ve done to attempt and get her back) — I can not offer guidance there; nonetheless, how you talk evolves an a sense of emptiness, as if you’re unable to exist without her. I invite you to look at that’s a lie.

To see my whole reply, check out the entire article and video post on Digital Romance, ideal HERE. You can also find this movie and many other on YouTube, so please be sure to subscribe to Digital Romance TV

Also, in case you’ve got a burning question about love, relationship or life in general for me, comment below, or ask me on Twitter @AllanaPratt and only use #AllanaQandA.

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

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Are you experiencing different kinds of emptiness, that you believe only she can fill?

The post How Can I Get Her Back? Appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

He Doesn’t Want Me Our Child–And I Can’t Get Over Him

He does not even acknowledge our child and swears that I got pregnant on purpose to trap him?

You requested Coach Allana Pratt: I saw your response about assisting a lady stop fighting her with her ex-husband, what do you have for a girl who somehow seems to keep fighting with a guy she”technically” outdated (mostly just slept ), got knocked up by, and somehow fell in love with but he does not feel exactly like her? He does not even acknowledge our child and swears that I got pregnant on purpose to trap him? Whenever I attempt to close him out of my life, he pulls me back in, then we fight, then he blames me for his fiscal issues (since he has to pay child support).

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Lordy Lordy! You have quite the circumstance! So first let us deal with your broken heart for him not loving you as you loved him. You are not going to have the ability to remain calm, centered and allowed about him if that wound remains open. Learn how to forgive, often to the hurt one indoors, be kind loving and appreciative of your worth and cut the chords remaining in reality {} not your spouse and you only hurt yourself by holding regret or bitterness.

Next, did you get pregnant to trap him? Tell the truth. If you did not, then who cares what he thinks? You’re not defined by other’s people’s opinions, if you don’t would like to live your life suffering giving your power away.

I’m concerned that your child’s dad wants nothing to do with him, you’ll need to clarify that in a neutral non judgmental way at some stage my love.

When it is not by gun point, then you are really CHOOSING to be pulled back in. Do not give away your power love, own it. Part of you enjoys the fight. Why? To see whether you will get back together? To continue to make him wrong? To make him wrong so that you don’t need to feel how much you are beating yourself up for the circumstance?

Tell the truth and get clear. Frankly will set your heart free. Then there is no need to push him away or be dragged back in. You are neutral, no more feeding off the play to conceal from feeling your feelings, letting them go and falling into the freedom in your heart that’s your birthright.

Be thankful for child support. I never got any. And now he is coming after me. Be thankful for your child, lots of people can’t become pregnant. Be thankful for learning to let go and make another phase of your life with your kid and one day, a noble man who honors the calm, based empowered woman you have become.

Terrific love, Allana xoxo

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

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Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Are you mad that she is getting married or that you never TOLD her how you felt about her?


Question: A woman I have had a crush on since our senior year in high school just sent me an email 5 decades after (it was a mass email) stating she’s getting married. We’ve never been anything and obviously now will not be anything but I am angry. Can I have a right to be mad? She’s always seen me as a friend and I have not expressed how I felt {} I feel like I just got kicked in the gut.

Response: Obviously love, you’ve got the right to feel whatever’s authentic to you. This is your life, your experiences, your choices, your emotions… your experience of living.

So in the event you are feeling kicked in the stomach… what is it that you can not stomach? The fact that she is getting married or that you never TOLD her how you felt about her? Is it maybe that you can not stomach that you did not take action, be daring, appear and risk rejection for the potential benefit of true love?

This is a very wonderful wake up call to show you the pain in your heart if you don’t at least show up and give it your all.

I remember my 10th and final address in Toastmasters back in Kamloops BC where I grew up. I quoted some Styx tune (years afterwards sat at a desk with the entire band at a charity event and told them this story). Show up. “Sailing off” I think it was. “Placing my course for the virgin sea. I have got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me…Carry on.” Jeez it is all coming back as I am typing now… that was 25 yrs ago!!!

So love, in that speech I told everybody I had a dream to be a dancer and traveling the world. I told them I’d rather fail than have this gray cloud of”what if” follow me about my entire mediocre life. I told them I was going to be completely consumed with no regrets.

For you, fantastic man, this experience appears to be inviting you to find that if you do not go for it entirely, the sorrow is difficult to stomach. Granted rejection stings, yet it moves and leaves you stronger and more confident for having shown up.

In a bitter sweet manner, say Thank You for that mass email for it woke you up. Dedicate to speaking your truth, regardless of what the consequences, and observe the Universe series up to encourage you in your dreams, which might just turn out better than you could ever imagine. And finally, send the woman a blessing of health, joy and liberty… for you can not have something on your own till you help another have it…

Funny… I am at Skyzone with my son while I am writing this and the DJ just begun to play with HAPPY by Farrell. Be happy that you have got this lesson now… and continue lovely man.

Allana
xooxox

A version of the post was previously published on Allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

A whole list of advantages is here.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

I’m Divorced and Prepared to Start Over.


I’ve been divorced for 3 years and it took a while to get here. I just don’t know where to begin.

Answer: Congratulations! I respect you for doing the job you have done to be prepared to begin over!

Where to start? We could talk for an hour about it!

I would advise that you get clear on the qualities you want in a person, in a relationship, in a lifestyle. Also get clear on what you offer your man, your gifts, your strengths, your distinctive yumminess. Often we believe that part of our life is a turn off or weakness, for example I am a single mother and right now I have my son Wednesdays and every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends. On the one hand, I might be afraid he thinks I am a bad mother or if he has children, our schedules are not aligned… however on the other hand, he can LOVE I have that program providing additional time for us to cultivate a solid base. There’s someone PERFECTLY suited to precisely who you are and how your life is… promise.

I would also suggest making space for him in your life. Go out more if it’s originally with girlfriends or even alone, so you get in the tradition of earning time so far and enjoy getting to know guys until you find one that you particularly fancy! Go through your wardrobe and actually ask, What do I look fantastic in? What clothes say, I’m hiding and recovery from my divorce? I recall giving away these’flowing loose” clothing which didn’t show my body off, because I was not ready for focus yet.

Finally trust your gut instincts about how you’d love to meet him, the way the Universe is bringing him to you… yet also be ready to reside outside the box, stretch yourself, be ready to be surprised. By this I mean you might choose to employ a relationship coach or matchmaker and not be interested in the internet world… yet taking the time to write a killer profile and take some sexy shots of yourself might very well lead you to him… be ready to be pleasantly surprised while still being true to you. A balancing act… yet that is life… we appear to do our best, and {} completely out of control, yes?

I know you understand this. Yet it’s a fantastic reminder. You can not WANT him HAVE him at precisely the exact same time. Do some potent launch work to let go of wanting him, so you aren’t destitute on your dates and may function as invitational feminine glorious space to possess him. And if that is proving to be hard, then I’d really like to steer you to bring that amazing man with a series of training sessions so that blind areas are dissolved and you’re the most irresistible lively force of character possible… so he can not overlook your radiance no matter what!

Wishing you enormous love and joy for this delicious experience,

Allana

A version of the post was previously published on Allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

When Can I Tell Them I’ve a Kid?

I love this woman I just started dating but I do not want to frighten her off.


Q: How do you discover the ideal time when seeing someone new to mention that you have a kid? I love this woman I just started dating but I do not want to frighten her off.

Granted, they won’t satisfy my kid for what might feel like a life but I’d rather start off knowing that this individual sees my kid as a strength, not a weakness, as a bonus, not bags.

To see my whole reply, check out the entire article and video on Meetmindful, ideal HERE. You might also find this movie and several other on YouTube, so please make certain to subscribe to my Youtube Channel!


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A version of the post was previously published on Allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

A whole list of advantages is here.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

My Boyfriend’s Messaging Strange Women


Question: Do you have any idea why a guy would begin immediate messaging odd woman after being in a five year relationship. Said he was”dumb” and was not physical with anybody.

I am so sorry. For those who have trust issues particularly, that would hurt and sting even more.

Trust: When we hope, it is not that we trust someone to be perfect. That sets us up for failure because nobody is perfect and you can not control anyone. That’s insanity if we attempt to control another and place all of our power — ensuring that they are a sure way to so that we’re safe. Instead, find that security and trust within you. That security being the ability to discern and know that come what may, you have got your own back — you can look after yourself. It requires a whole lot of pressure from others, to have to be a particular way, which really — when it’s a kind great person, makes them want to step up and be better for you and you feel at peace and house daily. So that is the trust issue. The how? I have all of the books, cds, dvds, and training for you — that is the how. But the what — that’s the trust issue.

Now the concept of him texting strange ladies, what I’ve learned about training a lot guys over at least the previous five or six decades, intensely through private sessions and intensives, and actually getting to be that secure place for them, to tell the truth rather than be judged and to be loved unconditionally, what I’ve found is that men love women. Men love variety. Men love all of the different tastes of the feminine. Not that you’ve done anything wrong, but perhaps there’s another flavor of your female to evolve. Occasionally we get into our groove, perhaps there are just two or three flavors of the female that we’re comfortable with — we could say one is the mother or the type caring tender component of us. Perhaps another is the naughty sensual provocateur. Maybe another resembles the queen, the self-respect, the confident, has the capability to run a family, or a business. Perhaps you haven’t researched your dork, perhaps you haven’t researched your vulnerable, soft side. Maybe there’s a part of you, that if you were to do research and discover who these other girls were, maybe they have something in common, a taste of the female that is in you, you just have not let her appear yet.

So as hard as this is, at first — get really super angry — hit a pillow, play some heavy metal music — get it from your body. Get pissed. When it is from your body, drop in and say”Thank you sisters, since you’re pointing me in the direction of the next part of me that is about to emerge.” And see exactly what it is and allow her emerge through dance, through training sessions, through only a simple awareness and conscious choice to dress like her or learn about that sort of woman or watch girls who are like this and be like them. There’s a good deal of ways that you can let, create the requirement for this portion of you to emerge. I have a sneaky feeling that after five decades, that’s probably what’s happening, no condoning his behaviour whatsoever, but when he did not know any better and you did not know any better — then no harm, no foul — now you know. You can now make another choice. What it will do for him is that he will not know who showed up to the dinner table or into the bedroom or on a dinner out since you’re likely to be embodying this other taste of the female and it will turn him keep his focus. While for you, it seems fuller, more empowering more living, to play and find all your grandeur.

What I want to advocate is that you go through my Radiance Curriculum for girl, it is a dvd. You could even update to two private sessions at a discount, which I do recommend, because it was really a webinar initially — designed for two private sessions with the six months of program. It’s 9 hours of program, interviews, and dancing practices with some tender love and attention from me to go all of the way into the core and cure whatever is in the way. You will enable the fullness of one to emerge. I bet you his behaviour will change. Making him wrong for this, as affirmed as you are, isn’t going to make him change. Inviting him to an even richer relationship, will. That’s my recommendation.

I love you to bits and thank you for your query.

Allana

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A version of the post was previously published on Allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

A whole list of advantages is here.

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here