I Have Custody of My Teen Kids–But Now Nobody Will Date Me. Ask Allana.

When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest.

Question: I’m 59 years old, I am a guy, I have custody of my three teenaged kids. When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest. Or perhaps it’s me…

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Response : This is an amazing question! Needless to say, once you aren’t in dad mode, you’re in hunk style, stud style, sexual man mode, all of the time on the planet style — of course, you’re likely to have more girls around. You have got the time, the energy, the money — the whole thing.

So now that you have children, and it seems like full-time, now you’re daddy mode all the time. It’s actually no different than a mother that loses her mojo, you are a father that has lost his mojo. Again you are in daddy mode, supplier mode. He’s making lunches and dropping children off and navigating crap that goes on. You’re giving all of your love, your focus, your patience, your playfulness — you’re giving everything to your children so there is not much left for you and you are not in that noble badass sexual energy in your pelvis, you’re most likely a good deal on your mind and in your heart, but not too much on your sexual energy.

So, it’s most likely circumstantial, but it is also lively and what I recommend is that you make time for daddy — daily and certainly once a week. What is it that makes you feel like a badass? What’s that gets you on your body? What is it that makes up you your advantage, risking, focusing on your heritage, your calling? What are you here in the world for? It may be being a daddy. That might be your calling, and that energy can be used to go do some martial arts, go surfing, go into character. Perhaps you prefer to write, join a writing group. Perhaps you like to behave — do that. Or simply spend some time on your own body, simply go to the gym and get strong. Or perhaps go to yoga and give up all your stress. There’s something you require in order to fall into your belly and fall down into your pelvis, where you could feel that sexual energy again. So that even though you’re a dad a lot of the time, you’re still a man.

While that’s certainly lots of doing energy, there’s also another side of receptivity — getting, allowing a girl to be committed to you. You have got to make space, you have got to open also. Quite often when we”do…do…do”, we do not open and let. So, I would like you to begin imagining what would a life that completely turns you on look like? Feel like? Smell like? Taste like? Your frustration is supported. Take some time to be a guy.

I have a recommendation. I have a curriculum named Dear Lover and it’s six weeks. It’s amazing, it’s interviews, my program, and it moves through clearing out any blocks you have in your heart, on your novelty, whatever you will need to forgive others, or yourself, so you may just be completely present and grounded for her. It was created as a webinar therefore it had been designed with two private sessions inside but what I provide is two discounted sessions once you get the DVD, so we can do this profound work. You can not see your blind spot, as amazing as you are. I can not see mine either. So as you’re going through this, let us make sure that you are going all of the way to the center, so you could get lasting change and maintain a space for love today.

I look forward to seeing that you updated to the 2 sessions so that we can join Skype or on the conference line and you can be an amazing, sexy, father.

All my love.

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.


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When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest.

The article I Have Custody of My Teen Kids—But Now Nobody Will Date Me. Ask Allana. Appeared on The Great Men Project.

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The Three A’s of a Successful Relationship: Affection, Care and Affirmation

Today is October 4th, and the Feast of St Francis of Assisi.

Let us look at a segment from the famous, Prayer of  St. Francis:

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love.

Consider adopting and practicing the belief that “it is in giving that we receive” on your relationship and you’ll probably experience the magic that’s love. 

Console method to comfort someone in a time of disappointment or despair. 

Try approaching your partner with the closeness, listening and availability which allows them to feel secure, heard and seen.  

Let them know they can depend on you. Tell them, “I got you”. 

Understand method to get an intended meaning. 

Try approaching your partner with fascination, nonjudgment and open-ended questions. Ask them,”why is this important for you?” and listen. If you don’t know keep asking questions. 

Enjoy means to have a fantastic interest in or powerful feeling for someone. 

Try showing love by loving your partner they way they prefer to be adored.

I feel loved when I get the three A’s- affection, affirmation and attention. 

St. Francis of Assisi loved people and animals. He asks us to care for and treat all living things with respect and love. 

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