Relationship Manipulation

Driving in Los Angeles, as most of you know, is such a joy. It looks like when you are running a couple of minutes late that people want to make you even after. Now, I am not Speedy Gonzales, but c am on… at least drive the speed limit!

Los Angeles isn’t laid back anymore. Too many folks live here. It’s simply not laid back anymore.

When you are late, however, you appear to get completely everybody on the street. So as I am writing this blog while I am driving through traffic (because that is one of those abilities I have mastered), I have a question for all of you.

If you are driving in the left lane going 20 miles and on your rear view mirror you see 40 cars piled up behind you, do you know that the courteous thing to do is go over into the right lane and allow those 40 cars get for their appointments? If you are on the telephone leaning your head to the car window as you are driving, do you understand that the vehicle isn’t your living room?

The rear view mirror was invented so you could see all the mad people behind you. The blinker was invented so people know you are going to turn and can slow down or change lanes. The horn was devised to wake up the idiot in front of you who’s writing a blog and won’t go at a green light.

And of course, in California the lights are not timed so you’ve got the joy of sitting at lights all of the time. Oh, and if you are going to give someone a dirty look then at least be man (or woman) enough to remove your sunglasses so that I can see your eyes when you give it.

Are not you happy you’re with my on my trip to the haircut? Let us move on also today’s lovely subject of manipulation.

There’s absolutely not any way to control your way to a relationship. Almost anytime somebody comes to see me for information, they’ll say something like”I wish to get information from the master” and hope to find some super-complicated, almost magical technique for how to do things. What I give them is something simple and simple.

You have been vibing with somebody and having good chemistry with them. You need to keep that going. Women and men always believe, however, that there is some unique Houdini-like trick they need to learn how to do to make that happen.

They’ll ask me,”How can I get her to like me? What if I say at the moment?” They ask these questions although at the moment they’re having amazing chemistry, and getting along perfectly with, somebody.

They do this because their previous has conditioned them to do it.

So they begin to consider how they don’t wish to generate some of these past mistakes with this individual, and they think that there should be some Houdini-like magic trick that they can do to make things with this individual perfect. In fact, however, the only magic trick I can give anyone is to stay 100% present.

They simply stay present in the current moment.

They are not future thinking, and they are not past thinking. They are only embracing and enjoying the moment, and if they’re finished linking in that instant they take that warm atmosphere and they go create another instant.

Considering the telephone call or text which may or may not come the following day. Thinking about telephone calls or texts which didn’t come from someone in your past.

The moment you let yourself visit”pastland” or”futureland” is the moment you will begin to believe there must be some sort of magical Houdini trick to make your existing relationship work. This sort of thinking is fueled by your previous programming.

Here’s the real magic: Future tribe never triumph, and past thinkers always fail since they stumble over the very same problems over and over again. If you watched last year’s episodes of the series Lost, you’d see that traveling into the past never makes things better. Every time you return in the past, you are not in the current and you’ll never make the current work.

This post was formerly published on and is republished here with permission from the author.


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