Are you mad that she is getting married or that you never TOLD her how you felt about her?

Question: A woman I have had a crush on since our senior year in high school just sent me an email 5 decades after (it was a mass email) stating she’s getting married. We’ve never been anything and obviously now will not be anything but I am angry. Can I have a right to be mad? She’s always seen me as a friend and I have not expressed how I felt {} I feel like I just got kicked in the gut.

Response: Obviously love, you’ve got the right to feel whatever’s authentic to you. This is your life, your experiences, your choices, your emotions… your experience of living.

So in the event you are feeling kicked in the stomach… what is it that you can not stomach? The fact that she is getting married or that you never TOLD her how you felt about her? Is it maybe that you can not stomach that you did not take action, be daring, appear and risk rejection for the potential benefit of true love?

This is a very wonderful wake up call to show you the pain in your heart if you don’t at least show up and give it your all.

I remember my 10th and final address in Toastmasters back in Kamloops BC where I grew up. I quoted some Styx tune (years afterwards sat at a desk with the entire band at a charity event and told them this story). Show up. “Sailing off” I think it was. “Placing my course for the virgin sea. I have got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me…Carry on.” Jeez it is all coming back as I am typing now… that was 25 yrs ago!!!

So love, in that speech I told everybody I had a dream to be a dancer and traveling the world. I told them I’d rather fail than have this gray cloud of”what if” follow me about my entire mediocre life. I told them I was going to be completely consumed with no regrets.

For you, fantastic man, this experience appears to be inviting you to find that if you do not go for it entirely, the sorrow is difficult to stomach. Granted rejection stings, yet it moves and leaves you stronger and more confident for having shown up.

In a bitter sweet manner, say Thank You for that mass email for it woke you up. Dedicate to speaking your truth, regardless of what the consequences, and observe the Universe series up to encourage you in your dreams, which might just turn out better than you could ever imagine. And finally, send the woman a blessing of health, joy and liberty… for you can not have something on your own till you help another have it…

Funny… I am at Skyzone with my son while I am writing this and the DJ just begun to play with HAPPY by Farrell. Be happy that you have got this lesson now… and continue lovely man.


A version of the post was previously published on and is republished here with permission from the author.


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