I just got off the phone with a customer and I wanted to share the dialogue we had with all of you.
David: So what you are worried about isn’t the opener, right? You have opened a girl up, but you are concerned about creating that fascination during the conversation, right?
Client: Yeah, that, and having something to say immediately after opening her, particularly if she is not giving me a whole lot to go off of.
So she is not giving you a whole lot to go off of. A whole lot of girls do this. But if you’ve opened her in the proper way — according to an observation, according to which she was thinking — you are getting some form of response back from her.
So let’s say you walk into a group of girls sitting there in a table. What’s that exactly?” One of them may respond,”It is the special.” You say,”What’s the special?”
You can return to her desk 20 minutes later and say,”Oh man, I purchased that special, and it is simply not as good as you said it was!” You are able to return and follow the dialogue. You don’t need to worry about creating something new each time.
You may give her 15 to 30 great seconds to consider it, and then remember what she said and return to her about it. Return at her with what you talked about with her formerly.
Carry the conversation. Pay attention to what’s going on. That’s actually the only way to do that. Otherwise, you do not keep the conversation moving or flowing.
So really gather this information. Pretend that you are an investigator. You are like a CSI — it is a crime scene. You’re this terrific investigator, and you are trying to determine exactly what this individual is all about.
What are you learning about this individual from the very first moment?
And then once you go back to speak to them again, begin the conversation based on what you have already learned. You are only uncovering a mystery — she is a mystery.
If you listen to what she’s saying the very first time you speak to her, then you’ll have tons of things to discuss the next time you approach her.
Let’s say you are talking to a woman in a coffee shop and she says,”You know, I adore Italian coffee. It is my favorite thing ever!” So then five minutes later you can speak with her again while she is sipping her coffee and ask her,”So how did you wind up falling in love with Italian coffee? Have you ever been to Italy?”
She might respond,”Oh my god, I moved to Italy, it is my favorite!” You ask,”what is so great about Italy?” And then she’ll let you know. She’ll let you know just how much she loves Rome — the history, the culture, blah blah blah… so next time you speak to her you can say,”Man, you need to tell me more about Rome. I have never been there, but I have discovered that the Coliseum is phenomenal. What was your favorite thing?”
You are moving that conversation ahead. You are taking that conversation somewhere and turning it into something rather than the blasé chat you must start fresh each time.
It is about paying attention to the details and being a excellent investigator. The more you research, the easier it’ll be.
Client: And how can you avoid being one of these fucking men that are beating a woman with endless questions?
David: The most important difference is that you are really listening to her answers and sharing yourself with her at exactly the exact same time.
When she tells you how much she enjoys Italy, you are saying,”Oh my god, I love Italy too! I moved to Italy one summer a couple of years back and the food was amazing! She replies,”Oh, I had the best pizza in this restaurant in Positano.”
You respond,”Oh my god, I was never in Positano, but I had this terrific pizza in….” You enter storytelling mode and discuss with her your experience there.
You are getting an investigator, but you are also sharing your personal stories and bonding with her through it.
So that’s how you do it. It is a conversation. If you talk to girls as you talk to your friends, you will be OK.
All we are doing is attempting to innovate fascination with everybody we connect with. The actual reason we befriend somebody is because we associate together and we show interest in one another’s lives.
So you are actually letting your true personality come out this way.
This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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