The Way to Handle Rejection: 5 Essential Tips


You have seen them over and over again in the shop, and you finally have the guts to turn and smile at them… and they do NOTHING in return. They simply look at you almost like you are not even there. They almost look right through you like you do not exist.

So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as fast as you possibly can, saying to yourself”I will NEVER do this again. This will not work. The next time I return there I am simply not going to grin.” Is this the best way to handle rejection? How do you deal with rejection? What’s more, are you someone who thinks that in case you become”good” at relationship {} no more get rejected?

The reality is that having the ability to manage rejection is the trick to being capable of going out and meeting people. So here are 5 essential tips on how to handle rejection That You need to embrace if You’re going to have a complete and effective dating life:

1. Change Your Expectations. Among the first and most important things that you will need to realize is that regardless of what you do, not everyone will respond favorably to you. Not everyone you grin at will grin at you. Not everybody you say hello to will say hello back to you. Not everyone you create any type of gesture to will respond to you favorably (and sometimes will not respond to you whatsoever ). This happens, and it’ll always happen at the same time or another. You want to stop expecting a positive response 100 percent of the time. What you need to understand is that just because someone didn’t smile back at you, doesn’t imply that you are not an appealing person or that you made a mistake by smiling at people. The only thing it means is that it didn’t work with that 1 person.

2. Everything in life has rejection included in it. If you are a sales person who makes ten sales calls, then you might just get one or two of these people to say yes. In baseball, a player whose batting average is about 300 will probably wind up in the Hall of Fame. In football, if a quarterback can complete 55 percent of his passes then he’s doing pretty well. If you visit a shop to purchase a pair of jeans, you might need to test five pairs until you find the perfect pair. Everything in life is all about percentages. In almost any area of your life aside from your relationship life, you would not just quit simply because you undergone some rejection. Think if quit searching for work after your very first interview did not end you getting hired. That might, of course, be ridiculous. So bear in mind that you also have to keep going on your relationship life when you are rejected, as you would like to keep increasing your likelihood of success in that area of your life.

3. Concentrate on Increasing Your Chances: When you feel like you’re getting more than your fair share of rejections, rather than focusing on these rejections you will need to concentrate on increasing your likelihood of success. The simple fact is that by playing the proportions as I mentioned previously, that you’ll be successful. The reason is that each and every time you do it — each time you smile, say hello or walk and initiate a dialogue — you get better at it. If you are going to go out there and just speak to a person each day, and that is it, then your odds of success aren’t going to be good. If you’re this individual, you will need to increase your odds each and every day and in everything you are doing. You want to understand that in case you approach someone and get rejected, it is not a reflection on you. It does not mean you did it wrong or should not have done it whatsoever. It actually could mean a thousand different things. Maybe they’ve lost every cent they have in the stock exchange. You will never know… and it does not matter.

4. Keep Things In Perspective: I hear a variant of the from customers of mine constantly:”David, what if I approach someone, get rejected, and someone sees me? I’ll never have the ability to go in that shop again (or that gym, that donut shop, that Starbucks or wherever) and I will have to drive to another city to do all of my shopping!” You will need to have a little perspective here. Allow me to tell you something — you are not front page news! When you are rejected, you will need to just get it over. I promise that if you are rejected by the deli counter in your grocery store, the next day you won’t see on Yahoo’s homepage or the front page of the local newspaper this headline”John Smith of Memphis, Tennessee was seen yesterday getting rejected at the deli counter of the local Whole Foods market… details on pg. People are worried about themselves and what’s happening in their lives, just as you’re focused on what’s happening in yours. Hence the fact that you get rejected in front of others at the current market, in the gym, or anywhere else isn’t a big deal to anyone else but you. You will need to keep this in it’s proper perspective: nobody will be speaking or talking about you getting rejected except you.

5. Do not Overreact: Another thing that I most commonly hear from customers who have been rejected is a version of the:”I am NEVER going to speak to that individual ever again now that I had been rejected by them.” This reaction isn’t only a whole overreaction, but it’s also absolutely the wrong thing to do. So you tried to speak (or smile or look) at somebody, and they did not respond. As I mentioned previously, there are a million potential reasons why that person didn’t respond to you. Perhaps that person was only having a bad day. Consider how many times you’ve been having a bad day and someone smiles at you, but you’re just not in the mood to socialize with other people. So you need to understand that just like you have days when you just are not in the mood to speak to anybody, so might that person who did not respond to a hello at the deli counter. It doesn’t automatically mean that person would not need to speak with you another time. If I smile at a girl and she does not respond, I do not play hide-and-go-seek the next time I visit her. What I do is be equally friendly to her the next time I visit her, as you never know what is going to happen that next time. You don’t know how someone will react the next time. You don’t know what is in their mind or what they are feeling. It is a different day. Place the last time.

You need to realize that in order to get good at socializing with the opposite sex, you’re likely to get rejected. In actuality, you wish to get rejected each and every day, because if you are not then it means that you are not trying.

So ask yourselves this: Can you get rejected now, and how do you go out tomorrow and make it a much better day than now? Learn to not only manage, but really to adopt, rejection and you, too, will meet new people and have an awesome social life.

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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