What Being In the Moment Means to Me


I have been asked what living in the moment means to me, and what my internal processes are as to how I reside in the moment. I have been asked how I deal with my own demons.

I like my demons. It is interesting, because to me living in the moment is the only thing to do.

The one thing that actually means anything is right now. Right now as I am writing this blog, I am staring at the hills and the shore, and I am thirsty. That’s all I am feeling at the moment.

Maybe I will have other ideas that come in afterwards. When my girlfriend comes home, I will think about what I wish to do.

You want to dial in that, and realize you won’t really understand what you would like to do until you are in the moment. You could attempt to plan things out, thinking maybe you need to catch dinner or have good sex, but you do not know what is going to happen in the future.

If the telephone rings and I answer that, then a new moment is made, and when I choose to pick up the phone then I shall give that person 100% of my focus in that moment.

It’s crucial for you to see that the moment is all we have. When you are out on a date, the one thing you have right there at that moment is that you and that person looking into each other’s eyes and speaking.

If you believe about how the date will end or how you want the date to finish, then you are not present in the moment. If you are considering what happened with your last connection, then you are not present in the moment.

One more thing about living in the moment and processing it, is if something bothers you then you will need to spit it out at this moment. You can not sit there arguing with your girlfriend or boyfriend and having it not feel right because you’ve got something to say.

If you feel you will need to take the time to think something through and process it, then that is fine. If you feel something at the moment that you wish to share, however, do not bury it.

Living in the moment to me means having the ability to say what is on your mind 24/7, being able to remain connected to where you are at, and being receptive to everything that is presented to you at the moment. It means being able to do everything without letting your mind wander and think.

How many of you have difficulty staying current in the moment?

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The Way to Get a’Proper’ Breakup


I get asked a lot about how to”correctly” break up with somebody. Breaking up is a really tough thing to do. I have written about this previously, but I keep getting this question. So perhaps I need to tackle this subject again.

You can do it like Sylvester Stallone and split up with someone via FedEx.

You may also can sit down someone, look them in the eyes and be 100% honest with about how you’re feeling. You may tell the person exactly how you feel about them that you love them as a person but you no longer romantically feeling them. You may let them know that you are great as friends but not good as fans.

Honesty is really, really tough for certain men and women. By being honest, however, you’re allowing someone to not live at any questions or doubt, and it enables them to proceed. It will of course hurt in that instant, but then that person can begin healing and proceed.

Too many of us don’t allow a person to heal. By being honest with somebody when breaking up, however, you’re allowing them to begin healing.

So share with me now some of the toughest times you’d breaking up with people. I’d really like to hear from you guys.

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Where’s the Compassion?


Someone recently said to me,”These specialists on training, finance and company are making money on things that nobody has to be taught. It is 100% instinct. The men and women who use their instincts don’t have any reason to want someone to teach them how to date. It is just plain common sense.”

That’s a wonderful quote. I will agree with it… 100%.

Forget about all of the experts — especially in finance and dating. I mean, come on.

Look how good Americans are in fund. Look at all the fantastic things they have done to themselves.

Look at the amount of those who have borrowed from their home believing that the real estate market was about to go up 100 percent each year. Look at all the men and women who kept their money in the stock exchange during the. Com heyday, believing their shares could go up 200% each year.

Yes, people do not need financial help in any respect. People — the vast majority of people — clearly require a whole lot of financial help. Something like 95 percent of individuals who win the lottery have been broke within six decades.

People today need financial help! A buddy of mine purchased a home in 2005. In Los Angeles, homes went up in value 132 percent in five decades. He thought that homes would continue to go up and up since there’s not any more land in Los Angeles. Now he has lost $300,000.

So according to this quote, people do not need financial assistance? It is”just plain common sense?” Really?

In terms of dating, sure I will agree that it also is”just plain common sense.” In this case I’m really not being sarcastic.

The thing is that people do not trust themselves when it comes to dating. They’re reluctant to approach. They are afraid to say what is on their mind.

When they are on a date, they are scared to challenge somebody since they’re searching for validation and acceptance. They need to be liked. They need to be loved.

Do not get me wrong. I adore people who figure out things by themselves. I love people that are financially secure or are good at dating all independently.

The issue is that a large part of those people today believe everybody else should be like them. It was so simple for them, and they have no empathy for others that are screwing up in these areas and are not mastering them independently.

Allow me to tell you, the 80/20 rule is accurate, and 80 percent of the world is screwing up. They do not get it. They do not understand. 80 percent of the world can not balance their own checkbook, make a budget or walk throughout the room to approach someone of the opposite sex.

When people say something similar to the quote I put at the start of the blog, I say to them,”You don’t have any compassion.” If you need assistance in 1 part of your life, you ought to go and get it!

If you need help with dating, you will find people like myself that can assist you.

Really, a lot of what I teach is to get people to trust their instincts. I teach people how to trust themselves, love themselves and how to become self-aware.

Shame on you to the man who gave me the quote that began this blog, for believing that nobody has to be taught these things. Shame on you.

There are several people out there who are lonely, angry, angry, and bankrupt. So many lonely folks who can not date, who can not make the ideal relationship decisions, but according to whoever gave me this quote they ought to just figure it out by themselves. It is all instincts and common sense.

The thing is that these people’s instincts and common sense have not gotten them anywhere. So why pass judgment about those folks, and about their decisions to seek help. Passing judgment on people is why we are in such a mess in this country.

I really like that I teach people how to date, the way to meet people and how to love themselves. I have compassion for it and I love it.

So come on people. Stop judging others that are having trouble with a portion of the life, and start supporting them.

I can imagine what happens when the girl who gave me the quotation at the start of the blog has a friend come to her for guidance. She probably only says to her friend,”Just use your common sense.” I can even imagine how badly and how embarrassing that friend must feel after hearing this.

This lady should say to a buddy like this is,”You know, I may have gotten this part of my life so, but I can totally understand where you’re at and how you’re feeling. Let us find you some help and the ideal people to speak to about this, so that you can make this part of your life”

Let us start supporting each other and stop judging each other.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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–Do you need success with online dating? Online dating can be fun and easy if you avoid these six errors that guys most often make when dating online. Here are the six biggest mistakes men make online when calling a girl for the very first time. 1. Not Reading A Woman’s Profile: of all of the mistakes men make, this is among the biggest. Guys won’t see a lady’s profile, then move to email her anyway — even if they aren’t in her age range and do not enjoy any of the exact things she likes. It’s wonderful how many guys will only look at a picture of a woman and send her an email, when that lady would be 100% not interested based on what she said she is searching for in her own profile. When you do so, you are just wasting somebody’s time.2. Being A Winker: in the event that you really read women’s profiles on the internet, you’d see that a good deal of women request not get winks or state flat out that they do not respond to winks. Since plenty of men online are extremely lazy, thoughthey will go online and send out a hundred winks at a night hoping that one girl will react. When you do so, do you understand what that tells a girl right from the get-go? It informs her first that you did not read her profile, and second that you are pretty desperate. They do not care who reacts; they just need someone to react.3. Sending A Generic or”Cut’N Paste” Emails: Sending a generic or”cut’n paste” email when you haven’t read a woman’s profile is one of the biggest turnoffs to women online. Men will send an email to a hundred girl saying something like,”Hey, you and I’m really a game. Read my profile and check it out, and let me know what you think. When a woman reads this, she knows you’ve put no effort whatsoever into it. She knows it’s a generic email, and she isn’t going to react to it.4. No Follow-Up: Lack of follow up is another massive mistake guys make online. A guy will send an email to a girl, she’ll send you back to himand then he’ll wait rather than respond to her email straight away. He does not follow up until three weeks later when he will email her and provide some sort of excuse about being really busy at work. Do you understand what a girl thinks when this occurs? She believes,”Well he clearly emailed ten individuals, and that I was number four on his record. You do not make her feel important that manner. If you email a girl, you ought to follow along with it — both in terms of returning her mails and asking her out on a date. Women want men that behave like men, have a plan and follow it.5. Commenting On Her Picture: Commenting on a lady’s image shows her that you did not read her profile. If you write,”Boy, you look really good in that dress” or”Wow, you look sexy in that bathing suit” it shows a girl that you’re solely a visual man. Doing it’s overly sexual right from the get-go. It turns girls off. Girls want you to not just read their profile, but to comment on something she states in it. It shows them that something in their profile joins with you in some way.6. Talking About Yourself On Your Email: speaking about yourself in your first email (and first contact) with a girl and before you ask her a question is a major mistake. What you’re doing when you do that is being a”lister” — what I call guys who need to list all their good qualities to market themselves into a woman. Online dating is a whole lot of fun, but you will need to look at it otherwise. You will need to appear at your first contact with a girl as though you were meeting her live and in person.When you look at it this way, you’d never send a girl a list of your great qualities or make a comment about how sexy she looks in her swimsuit on the very first conversation.Think this way, and you will have greater success online, not turn any girls off. ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS. A whole list of advantages is here.–Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

Let us begin with not reading a woman’s profile.

The article The 6 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Girls On The Very First Time appeared first on The Great Men Project.

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You Can’t Control Your Environment, You May Just Control Your Reaction To It


You can not control your environment, you can only control your response to it. Let us talk about this now, and let us break it down into a few basic principles.

Say you are driving behind someone you absolutely can not stand. You do not know them, but you definitely can not stand them because they are driving far slower than the rate limit.

What should you do?

The issue is that man in front of you’ve got no idea why you are honking at him. He is just enjoying his afternoon.

He is thinking about the terrific assembly he just had, or about how he can not wait to get home so he could have sex with his wife. He can not figure out why there’s a maniac behind him honking his horn.

Here is the bottom line: You can not control him.

Say you’re wishing to approach a girl you see in the supermarket. A good deal of you get a lot on your head and think to yourself,”Oh man, I must say the perfect thing. If I say the perfect thing, she’s going to be turned on by me that she’ll want to go out with me. So I must think of the specific right thing to say so that I can find the response I want.”

The trouble with this sort of thinking is that you can not control her response. All you can do is control the way you’re in that circumstance.

If you walk over to her as a confident, strong man — a man who believes in himself and that he is as a man and who believes he’s a gift — then that’s all you do in this circumstance.

That is all you can control.

Say you’re heading out on a third date with a girl, and all you can think about is how badly you want to have sex with her that evening. So you plan out the whole night carefully.

You cook her dinner in your home. You open up a bottle of wine. You have even put an extra toothbrush in the toilet, since you’re so sure she will spend the night with you.

At the end of the night, you are making out with her. Things appear to be going perfectly, then she looks at you and says”I have to get home. I have an early meeting tomorrow, but let’s pick up this another night.”

Most men will immediately enter”I wish to control her response” mode. They’ll enter salesman manner, and try to sell her on staying over by saying something like”Please remain. I would like to be with you.”

The reality is, however, that you don’t understand what’s actually behind her leaving. She is in the midst of her time, and does not want her first time having sex with you to be while she is on her period.

She might, as she said, have an early meeting. She may be thinking that if she stays over, that she will be banging all night long.

What you will need to do in this time is look at her and say,”I completely get it. That’s what a real man does.

A true man will lead. She’ll respond and say,”Absolutely!” You have gotten her right in the moment she’s hottest for you and is feeling you the most.

So bear in mind that you can not control people’s reactions. You can, however, lead them down a path.

I would like you to remember the very first sentence of the blog the next time you feel you are not getting what you need in a circumstance. If you remain true to yourself, you will not just get what you want, but you’ll get it back tenfold.

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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Don’t you think you’ll see a link on one of these? –I believe a good deal of individuals are really unrealistic. This is particularly true when it comes to dating. There are 52 weeks and 365 days in a year. Think if you went out and met people each and every day with the objective of getting one date weekly. I’m not just referring to a date with anyone you may find, but with somebody with whom you share a real chemistry link.That is 52 quality dates annually. You don’t feel that from those 52 dates that you are likely to find at least one person with whom you connect and with whom you’ll form a connection?It’s funny how many times people say to me,”David, I’d love to go on two to three dates weekly.” Why?It is all about going out each and every day and meeting people. You can do it for ten or twenty minutes daily or a half hour daily based upon your schedule. It does not really matter.By doing that, do not you feel you can meet 1 person a week with whom you share a excellent connection? Don’t you think you may realize that great and incredible individual with whom you like to hang.Don’t you think you would find people along the way that would be great sexual partners? Don’t you think you would find those who will teach you things and people with whom you can talk about things? Do not you think you might find people that you need to endure for a week, a month or perhaps forever?So, actually, keep your goals realistic. Go out there and try to find that one great date each week. You don’t have to worry about how many dates you are getting. Try this for a week!Click here to hear a few of my keys to how I understood exactly how to entice the girls with whom I shared amazing connections — and ways to get better dates and how to fulfill sexier women in the places you go.This article was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author. ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.–

Don’t you think you’ll see a connection on one of them?

The article Time To Be A Realistic Dater appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Do You Respect Your Partner?


Have you ever been driving when that adorable little gas guage light comes on, and you examine the computer that says”30 Miles To Empty?” I wonder how it knows that, because I drive until the car says”Refill Gas Today!”

So it is kind of like the car is lying, kind of like how a person is lying when they say”Give me a second.” I believe the identical person invented the term”give me a second” and the”Refill Fuel Now” message.

You can tell it is Saturday since those are about the only thoughts in my mind. Good thing I have a site written, otherwise the”refill gas today!” Message could have been the subject of the blog.

So onto a less “gassy” topic…

You might not respect your partner? Think about all of the people in your life. Consider your best friends. You honor your friends, otherwise you would not be friends together.

Do you really admire the person you’re dating though? Do you really respect their wishes and the things they want to do? Do you make sure that there is sufficient balance between the things you like to do and what they want to do?

Say among you’re a late night person and the other is an early morning person. Can you compromise about this? Do you respect each other’s needs and desires? It’s actually important that you do. A great deal of people tend to tune out or dismiss their partner’s wishes.

Say your spouse wants to go out for supper to a Chinese restaurant. You had Chinese food for lunch, but you know how much your spouse is craving it. You just kind of do not answer them. You enter silent mode and hope they do not ask you again.

Here is how you should manage it. Do not ignore them. When you ignore a person, they will immediately begin to believe that the answer is no and {} not on the same page together. You don’t need to do this.

It is only human nature that if somebody asks us to do something we are not actually in the mood to do, we’ll often go on mute mode (and will just ignore the request). Pretty soon what happens when you do so, however, is that your partner will begin to think you are not interested in doing this thing together (when perhaps you just are not interested in doing it that night).

So if your spouse wants to go to a Jazz club one night and you are not in the mood that day to do so, answer them by saying something like”No, I am not in the mood to go listen to jazz tonight and get drunk. Let us do it tomorrow.”

Therefore, don’t dismiss somebody when they have a desire. Do not dismiss somebody when they need something. Just let them know you are not in the mood for it that night, otherwise you’re likely to cause your spouse to form all kinds of incorrect opinions about you.

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

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Intrigue Her The Moment You Walk In A Room


Would you like to be that man who walks into a room and girls are immediately mesmerized by him? How does that occur? Well, it’s really quite straightforward!

First thing to do if you walk into a room would be to slow down. They somehow feel they should get there really fast.

What I always tell men to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever door there is, and when there is not a door then you make a door around you.

You scan the room — look left, centre, right, right, centre, left — so you are taking a look at the whole room. People are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who’s walking in the area.

Not only do you do this, but if you walk in you {} sure to have really good posture. Ensure that your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Be certain you’re standing up tall and straight.

Body language is quite important. So much of life is based on first impressions.

So as soon as you walk into a room and you control power (controlling power is standing upright and walking ), then you need to walk through that area gradually. You literally must strut through that area.

Walk through that area at a really slow tempo, smile at a girl that you see — make that first contact. Give her a look straight in her eyes, smile, and ask her”How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.

It is possible to walk away right after you do so, as it’s all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very closely — with certainty and with great body language — then she is likely to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.

Next, go straight to your buddies (or whomever else you’re meeting) and have good body language when you speak to them. You smiled at the girl and she smiled back at you, and you finally have acknowledgment from all the men and women that are around you.

When you go to speak to a buddy, you be certain you greet your buddy in the same powerful way.

So not only is body language significant, but the speed of your walk is just as important. When you walk into a room slowly, you are a commanding presence that individuals will notice. When you walk into a room fast, you are hustling in that room so quickly that you are basically only a blur.

You’ve got to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you have got to find the walk right too.

Another important point to remember is the perfect body language when you are speaking to a woman. When you’re talking to a lady, you will need to look straight at her. Your body has to frame her body. This means that if you are standing there in front of her, then you need to confront her directly so you are mirroring each other.

It’s all in how you look at someone. Once more, a strong, strong man looks into someone’s eyes and shows them that the guy is in that circumstance.

When you have any questions regarding body language, it is wise to visit YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.

I know when I am speaking to a room of people, I am talking to left, centre, right. I am looking into people’s eyes to make them feel like I am connecting with them, and that’s exactly what people are searching for every time.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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–It is Sunday and it is family day for me… well it is family day with Sonja’s family now. I am meeting her loved ones today, and it is going to be a excellent test of recalling names for me. Wish me luck, since you know I am terrible with names! When you are dating someone, what are the bounds? Are there any definite relationship boundaries that, if triggered, cause irreparable harm and the eventual end of most relationships? What each of these behaviors have in common is that they’re violations of another individual’s trust. Once 1 person in a relationship no longer hopes their spouse, the connection will almost surely end. So to help you ensure this doesn’t occur in your relationship, here are 6 relationship-ending dating behaviours which should always be avoided: Remember that I am not mentioning the most obvious one which is cheating.1. Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Privacy. What constitutes a breach of a person’s privacy? When, if ever, are you justified in breaking up your spouse’s privacy? In case you’ve got an”instinct” about something, does this give you the best to begin reading through your spouse’s email? To begin listening to their voicemail messages? The reply to all these is no! To violate a person’s privacy would be to violate their faith. You shouldn’t ever dig through someone’s personal emails, or listen to someone’s voicemail messages. By listening to your spouse’s voicemail messages or reading their emails, you’re violating not only their trust, but also the hope your spouse has with anybody who abandoned those encoded messages and emails.2. There is No Such Thing As”A Lie For The Greater Good.” Of course lying is not good in a relationship, although we have probably all been guilty of doing this. Certain sorts of lies, however, are a lot more detrimental to a relationship than others. Some people will lie to their spouse in certain scenarios in an attempt to avoid hurting them to avoid having to have a dialogue that will be hurtful to them. So although we lie thinking we’re doing this to”protect” our spouse, when that lie is exposed (which it almost always necessarily is) we end up digging a deeper hole for ourselves. If you do get caught in this circumstance, not only do you end up damaging your partner anyway, but you also wind up hurting yourself much more. In life, what you fear will actually manifest — but it is going to manifest even more badly than you feared. So whatever you’re trying to protect your spouse from by lying to them will look worse because your lie than it would have had been if you were honest and open about it in the get-go. In addition to that, you’ve violated your spouse’s trust by lying to them. These sort of lies are nearly always relationship-enders.3. You’re Not James Bond, Thus Never Spy On Your Partner You aren’t a spy, so you shouldn’t ever be spying on your spouse. You shouldn’t snoop on your spouse’s private things. That means that you need to never look through your spouse’s drawers, their wallet, their filing cabinet, or their personal records (such as their bank or credit card statements). Further, there’s nothing that justifies snooping. Regardless of what you have a”hunch” about, snooping through your spouse’s things is never the best way to affirm or deny your hunch. It’s a complete violation of your spouse’s trust. Your spouse’s private business and individual records should be kept confidential unless they give you permission to look at them. Spying on your spouse behind their back James Bond style is one of the most deliberate and obvious violations of your spouse’s trust, and will achieve nothing except to have your spouse never expect you to be alone near their items ever again.4. Whether this takes the kind of searching for your spouse’s car by driving by their home, gym or work, or it takes the kind of following your spouse in your car, this is something that you should never do. Even if you think you have a true”hunch” or”instinct” that your spouse is doing something wrong or is hiding something from you, designating yourself as your own private investigator isn’t merely the wrong way to tackle this, but also frankly smacks of stalker-like behaviour. If your spouse finds out you have been”tailing them” on your vehicle, they will no more trust you and will probably end your connection right there and then.5. Do not ever send a friend or anybody else to collect information for you about your spouse or to spy on your spouse for you. That means, do not send a friend to go hang out where you know or suspect your spouse will be. Do not have your friend try to eavesdrop on your spouse’s conversations in places they go. Do not ask your friends to use their mobile phone to snap covert images of your spouse. All {} not only violate your spouse’s trust, but also reveal your complete lack of confidence in your partner. This behavior, if detected by your spouse, will most certainly lead to them ending your relationship.6. Prevent Paranoid And Obsessive Behavior. Among the biggest ways to show that you don’t trust your spouse whatsoever, is to attest that distrust with paranoid and obsessive behaviour. While calling your spouse regularly is rather normal, calling them to”check them up” comes off as paranoid and obsessive, and will almost always drive your spouse away. If for example your spouse leaves their phone somewhere, and by the time they realize they abandon it and pick it up two hours after you’ve called them 50 times, you’re not just coming off as being paranoid and obsessive, but you’re clearly communicating to your spouse that you don’t trust them whatsoever. If you dread each time ten minutes go by with no reply from your spouse to a telephone call or an email, it sends the exact same message to them. This behavior won’t only push your partner away from you, but how you clearly do not trust them at all will likely lead your spouse to finish your relationship.Thus, even if you have some sort of”instinct” that your spouse is doing something wrong, it’s much better to face them openly about it and”slug it out” together compared to violate their privacy and their trust by trying to find answers behind their back. Even if your spouse does not respond to your efforts to discuss it the first, second or third time, it’s likely you will get to discuss it — and the consequence of facing your feelings openly along with your spouse will always be greater than if your spouse discovers you’ve participated in any of the behaviours I discuss here.Finding a fantastic person with whom you need to be in a relationship can be quite hard. After we find somebody, however, we will need to see our spouse’s privacy and trust are boundary lines that shouldn’t be breached. Violations of trust like those discussed here are a few of the quickest ways to kill any connection.However much emotion and love exist in a relationship, a connection can’t survive without trust. Think long and hard before you participate in any of these behaviours. Violating someone’s trust won’t ever have a connection to a better location. In actuality, by doing this you might just be orchestrating the end of what might have been a wonderful relationship. ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.–Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

What each of these behaviors have in common is {} violations of another individual’s trust.

The article 6 Relationship-Ending Dating Behaviors appeared on The Great Men Project.

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My Whole Life I’ve Had to Practice Mental Toughness.


Are you dating a man who suffers from commitment phobia? You love him and you want a lasting commitment with him, but you just can’t seem to get him to commit. You give each other your heart and you have both put all your feelings on the table, and yet it still seems that you have your life and he has his. He just won’t go that extra step to totally commit to you.

So are you just stuck with man who won’t commit? The Answer is no. There are certain things that will keep a man from committing, and certain things you can do that will turn a supposed “commitment phobe” into a man who will want to become totally and completely devoted to you.

Here are five ways to cure your man of commitment phobia:

1.Recognize That You’re Missing The Main Ingredient: So many women come to me saying something like “I do absolutely EVERYTHING for him, and yet he still seems unavailable. No matter how much I do, he just won’t commit.” Do you know why? The reason why a man won’t commit in the situation where a woman does “absolutely everything” for him, is that one key ingredient is missing.

He isn’t hesitating to commit despite the fact that you do everything for him, but because you are not showing him that you need him. It’s fantastic to be so giving to a man, and men do appreciate having someone do lots of nice things for them. In the end, though, men really also need to feel needed.

2.Stop Being Nurturing Nancy: A lot of women end up mothering their men. Whether it’s because they think men need mothering or it’s just their nature to mother, a lot of mothering takes place in relationships. Now, I know that women are generally very nurturing by nature. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you’re very nurturing by nature you need to be careful to strike a balance.

If you do a lot of taking care of your man, then you need to be equally good at letting your man take care of you. You need to be able to communicate your need for him. If a woman is doing everything for a man and never conveying a need for him, it will feel to him like something is missing.

3.He Needs To Be Tarzan: As a man, we still want in certain ways to feel like a caveman. We still want to have the “I’m Tarzan, you’re Jane” dynamic, wherein we bring home the meat and provide for you. In today’s world, women are so self-dependent that they not only don’t need any support from a man but even sometimes rebuff any attempt a man makes to assist her. I feel like the traditional roles have not been modified, but totally lost at times.

4.Don’t Be Boss Woman At Home: Many women have the mindset of “I do my job well. I am upfront with men about my intentions. I state what I want.” Many women, however, forget that they need to switch off the “boss mindset” when they’re at home with their man. They need to be able to interact with their man differently than they interact with their co-workers.

5.Don’t Over-Mother: A lot of men have been overmothered their whole life. As little boys, when they fell down their mother would rush over to see if they were alright instead of just letting them dust themselves off. When you do too much mothering, men will feel more like boys and less like men.

So if you’ve been doing everything for a man, start telling him how much you want him and desire him. Make him feel wanted and needed. When a man feels wanted and needed, you can do all the mothering you want because he will know that he still can take care of you. It brings a little tradition back to his world.

I am all about women having great and successful careers, making money, buying homes and being as ambitious as they desire to be. If you conduct yourself with your man in the same way you do with your business associates, however, he is going to feel like a Power Point presentation instead of your partner. Love him, show him you need him and this commitment phobic man will be yours forever.

This post was previously published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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