Why So Stubborn?


Today’s blog will be personal. Let us talk about stubbornness.

Allow me to tell you about a stubborn decision I made, and how I am still paying for it now. I’d never been surfing before, but really wanted to test it (although I knew it was not the best action for someone with a history of lower back problems ).

So I went out and surfed during a holiday season. I got up on the board with no issue, but I kept jumping from it to the shallow water. By my final day of this trip, I was getting very sore… but still chose to browse one more time. Ever since then, my back hasn’t felt the same.

Now I have tried practically everything to fix it. I have done acupuncture. I have gone to chiropractors. I have gone to massage therapists. I have been to yoga. I have done everything extending and exercise related. I have done it all… except for have an MRI.

It is funny, but during this time I’ve tried to cure myself I have never previously sat around and just rested for a couple of days like I did during the Memorial Day weekend. I really don’t like to do this since I get too into my own head.

While I sit, I feel helpless. I’m miserable. It borders on melancholy for me.

I have been sitting around my home the past several days doing nothing all day long. A number of you frequently just sit around and watch tv all day long. I don’t have any clue how you live that life.

To me, sitting and watching tv all day long is only an emotional torture. I am a doer.

I have been an athlete my whole life. I workout daily. If I don’t workout for a couple of days, I feel terrible and I must do something active to feel better.

Let us talk about psychological torture, however, because for me there is nothing worse than being made to rest. I am really stubborn. My girlfriend has told me lots of times for an MRI, but I simply would not do it.

Finally, last week, I decided to make an appointment. I am going today to receive it.

I can’t escape from my head when it comes down to needing to rest. It actually comes from the way I was brought up as a kid.

My Mother has a bad back. My Mother has struggled through it her entire life. My Mom also got sad occasionally.

My Father died of MS. He got into his head so badly that he really caused himself to receive it. He did not need it so badly that he ended up getting it. Strange story. I will share that story another day.

So I have done nothing but practice psychological strength because I was a little kid. My entire life I have had to practice mental strength.

When I was in school, I separated my shoulder. At the moment, I played a competitive intramural league and I was also weightlifting. Two days later separating my shoulder, I had been playing soccer again with my friends. I {} you struggle through pain, because nothing is worse than the emotional anguish.

So as I layed around all Memorial Day weekend stiff as could be (and annoyed as could be), I understood what my lesson from this should be: When I had listened to my girlfriend weeks ago, I’d have gotten an MRI and figured out what the problem is and what is really wrong with me. Had I done that, I’d have gotten the perfect treatment rather than performing 80 percent the wrong things.

I’ve never sat around for a week to rest and just let my body heal. I don’t understand how to let my body heal. When my spine locks up or contracts, I will fight my way through it so that I can begin walking again.

Time seems to move so slowly when you are resting. It’s ridiculous. This weekend has been torture.

She has got a little holiday and a small business trip. Good for her.

I would not want to be around me when I’m like this — stubborn, cantankerous and in my own head.

There is something about me that’s so stubborn, telling myself that I could look after myself and can make this go away on my own, that {} I really needed her I’d never say a word. When I am really hurting, I have a tendency to push people off.

Admitting that truth, about that or anything else, is a significant part of changing. I see the identical issue at a lot of you when I read your articles.

A good deal of you are still going through the exact troubles with the opposite sex over and over again. When are you going to reach out to assistance? When are you going to stop being so stubborn?

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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New Study Says Online Dating Can Make You Depressed, Addicted, and Anxious

Relationship development Specialists explain new Study and how people can Utilize dating Programs successfully

50 million Americans have turned to online dating in a search to discover a companion, and near 40 percent of American couples that met in 2017 did so through dating programs and online dating websites. However, new research claims that online dating can be harmful to one’s mental health, and even develop into an addiction.

“The analysis, which was only published from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, states that relationship programs really can harm young people’s mental wellbeing,” states Johnny Dzubak relationship development specialist. “Regrettably, the study demonstrated that individuals with social anxiety and individuals who reported the greatest levels of loneliness were the most likely to be negatively affected by dating programs.”

Dzubak is a host of the popular lifestyle podcast (with over 150M+ downloads) The Art of Charm, together with fellow relationship development pro AJ Harbinger, and the pair both agree they’ve seen many millennials struggle with relationship skills partially as a consequence of relying too heavily on relationship programs.

“It’s ironic that individuals with the most anxiety and the most loneliness are people who experience the unwanted effects of relationship programs,” says Harbinger. “But it is not a surprise. These folks tend to invest a whole lot of their power and self-worth into whether people’swipe directly’ on them, and it may cause a very detrimental effect on their psychological health. They spend so much trying to make the ideal online profile with the most filtered,’perfect’ pictures, and the outcome is they simply push themselves further into a place of isolation and hopelessness.”

So how do daters use dating programs without suffering these unwanted side effects? Here, Harbinger and Dzubak share their best tips for using dating programs successfully:

  1. Have a set rule for when you meet prospective matches. “Do not spend weeks and weeks messaging and texting with a great deal of different people,” says Harbinger. “This could be a real waste of time and energy. Instead, arrange an on site date when possible. This is a significant red flag.”
  2. Remember it is a numbers game. “Dating programs are nice because they provide you with a enormous pool of possible matches, rather than a bar scene where you might only encounter a few available individuals on any given night,” says Dzubak. “Bearing this in mind, do not be afraid to swipe {} who you are a bit hesitant about. Meeting up for coffee is affordable and it’s well worth the time you spend, even if it is not a match, since you will work on real social skills rather than simply combing through Tinder for hours for the perfect woman.”
  3. Set mindful targets. “Instead of just considering hooking up or having fun, place a few straightforward goals for your dating program usage,” states Harbinger. “For example, it can be a fantastic way to work on your social stress and meet new people, as long as you set the intention to use it in this fashion.” “For each dater you ask out online, make a promise to yourself that you will approach 1 person in real life also,” states Dzubak.
  4. Have tech-free time weekly. “Carve out a day or evening each week where you place your phone and notebook away,” says Harbinger. “Create tech-free time a priority and force yourself to escape the home or to really interact with those around you instead of swiping in your mobile phone. The longer you can invest in character rather than nose-deep on your phone, the happier you will be, whether you’re single or not.”

For more on this subject or to talk to relationship development specialists Johnny Dzubak or AJ Harbinger, please contact me.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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