Enjoy is something a great deal of people talk about in romance novels, or on your favorite top 40 song. Does true love really exist? It will, but it could be somewhat different from what you think it is.

Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and enhances our defenses and inhibitions. Should you get hurt, it frees you from pursuing other relationships and can ask you to wonder if true love is real.

Rather than dealing with potential psychological link (and following trauma), casual sex and hookups could be preferred instead of a relationship.

Enjoy without Gender, Sex without Love

We often struggle with differentiating love and sex. Recognizing love and what it can do to and for you is complex, but sexual attraction can appear more instantaneous (and consequently, a simpler option).

There’s also the idea that you can have sex without love, and love without sex. Some folks experience love through sexual intercourse, and many others understand love through non-sexual means and do not factor sexual intimacy in their feelings of love.

The reality is that sex feels like love, largely because of the release of oxytocin, which can be connected with compassion, confidence, and relationship-building. However, both do feel inherently different for everybody.

What if I am Incapable of Love?

Knowing the difference between love and sex is essential, but some can feel as they are incapable of love completely, despite knowing the difference.

Society generally tells men to contain their feelings, but this can make anyone look rigid, unloving, and possibly even fear commitment, which is laden with psychological facets. This does not necessarily mean you’re incapable of love, however. There are things which you can learn how to recognize and work on to attain true love, if you would like.

How to Recognize True Love

Understanding true love is not straightforward. The most important issue to knowing true love is exactly what it means to you, and understanding yourself.

True love should make you happy, and must be done with the best interests of your spouse and yourself together in your mind.

A number people are fearful of true love as it is such a powerful emotion. In case you have anxieties about love, consider these things to better understand how to experience it for yourself.

Work on Yourself Before You Attempt to Fall in Love

It’s important to concentrate on yourself before committing to another person.

You know that idea you will just love others following you love yourself? While you’re capable of loving others without actually loving yourself, it can help your future relationships if you have worked on (or are actively working through) bettering yourself in the methods you’ve always desired. You don’t need to have everything figured out, but it is great to make sure of where you would like to be and know that you are on your way there.

If you do not have goals in place, identify and set a few. Work on multiple aspects of yourself. Research goals on physical, professional, and psychological levels. Many take a step back from dating and falling in love while they are working on themselves, which is perfectly fine — it is far better to wait and feel much more confident than to dive in and just figure out everything all at once.

Don’t Attempt to Force Love When it Is Not There

If you’re with someone and you do not feel like them, do not attempt to force it. Realize when it might not be there, or if it just is not there. It is ok to not love someone you are dating — not everybody is compatible, or supposed to be. This can be a tricky realization, but true love should not force you to question things. There’s true love out there for you — and them — it just is not with each other, or right now.

Identify it in People You Know You Love

Learning how to love a possible spouse, particularly after a heartbreak or traumatic event, can be difficult. But if you have people you know you love, like your friends, relatives, and pets, find beauty in that love. Love does not always have to be romantic. 

 In case you have problems working through your feelings in romantic relationships, try to spot things that you love about people about you or that you’ve got strong feelings for, and recognize what it is that makes you think that way. Understanding? Support? These are things you could find in a possible partner, and you may grow romantic love from these foundational areas of your connection, once established.

If you have been hurt before and feel incapable of love, it will not hurt to find a mental health professional, if love is what you want. A therapist can help you sort out possible relationship and emotional problems, so that you can feel better about your current connection, or assist you to pursue love when you are ready.

True love is different, and it is very much possible that you fall in love in this modern day and era. While technology and internet dating can be confusing and frustrating, there’s definitely lots of good on earth also, and if you’ve ever feared devotion, or are reluctant about falling in love, know you are not alone, but you can find it someday.

This is a featured article by site sponsor Better Help.

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