How to Give a Gift to a Woman

Editor’s Note: This is a guest article from Candace Moody.

Men have been giving gifts to girls since the first Neanderthal offered his crush a glistening wolf femur. But men haven’t yet developed a method for purchasing the girls in their lives meaningful gifts for special occasions. As a public service, I provide this gifting system for homo sapiens and homo inermis.

Gifts show affection and love and may also signal appreciation. Coincidentally, gifts also have been used throughout history to demonstrate wealth, achievement, and power. Trust me, when you become a excellent gift giver, your status and desirability as a romantic partner grow exponentially. The only thing women love more than getting a meaningful gift is showing it off to their envious friends.

Giving your significant other a present deepens the warmth, trust, affection, and intimacy in your relationship, and also raises her admiration of you. This kindling impact of gift giving should not be reserved just for major anniversaries and vacations, but used to keep the fire burning through your”regular” life together also.

What to Give

Gifts don’t have to cost a fortune (and may even be free, or close to it); many girls really do appreciate the gesture more than the cost. In actuality, a gift that costs too much can produce more angst than joy, especially if it strains the budget or cuts into other spending priorities she considers important. It truly is the thought that counts, so put some into your pick. 

If you’re starved for ideas, start a file somewhere with the answers to these questions. Ask them sometimes and subtly (not all at the same time), and record answers (such as the why) carefully:

  • Her dimensions. Note her dimensions and what style she prefers. (All these are not to be shared, mind you.) Also notice what celebrity’s attributes and figure she {} ; use that as a manual for store clerks to help them help you in buying things that will look great.
  • Her favourite colour (and why she enjoys it). Also record her favorite color and be sure to never buy something in it. Record the color you like to see her in (you know, the one which makes her glow and never fails to remind you how lovely she is). This colour can be a highly effective gifting component; should you tell her you love it upon her, she’ll love it too. Guaranteed. Cultures all over the planet have assigned meanings to flowers and used them to send messages to fans and rivals. Giving a lavender colored rose, by way of instance, signifies love at first sight. Powerful stuff.
  • Can she wear silver or gold? Request, and purchase her (almost) exclusively what she prefers.
  • What’s her birthstone?  And does she enjoy it? It is not guaranteed, so inquire. Notice it and buy jewelry that features the stone.
  • Speaking of jewellery, is there a culture or fashion she enjoys? Asian, Southwestern, Victorian, Victorian, ultra-modern minimalist. Make note of her likes for both jewelry and clothing purchases.
  • Her favourite designer, if she has one.
  • Her favorite food or meal. Cooking for her (or ordering ) is a terrific way to surprise and delight her.
  • Her favourite animal or the animal she (or you) think symbolizes her soul. Following is a guide to soul animals. Give her a gift that she can fulfill her or screen which inspires her to be her best or most effective self. Purchase a first edition for frame or her a quote by her favourite author. Or find a copy of a book she adored as a kid. Arrange for a binge-watching session, either independently with snacks and wine, or with girlfriends while you and the children are out of the home. Purchase her favourite movie so that she can watch any time.

Keep this manual handy for frequent reference. With it, you can always find an affordable way to show her you listen and understand what she likes. You will also have this list in mind while you go about your business. If you see something which fits her, purchase it and stash it to the upcoming gift-giving occasion. Purchasing at the last minute puts a whole lot of pressure on you; purchasing when you happen to find something way you will never need to panic. 

Some other guidelines:

Buy her things which have a story. Tell her about the artist that made the bracelet or glazed the pottery. Inform her about where you found it and you thought it’d be ideal for her. Find pieces which are exceptional, one of a sort, or which have a long history, and let her know that.

You may also give gifts which make life easier — as long as they are not too utilitarian. Giving her a publication of smoothie recipes is thoughtful; purchasing her a blender isn’t. Giving her a set of file folders with a gorgeous pattern for her home office is thoughtful; purchasing the most recent edition of Turbo Tax isn’t.

Do not forget that acts of support can make her heart sing. Repair something without being asked. Do the dishes, clean out the junk drawer, wash and fold a load of laundry, or perform another task that she dislikes or that normally would not be your job. (No excess charge for doing what you need to as your fair share.)

Or reservations. Hire a sitter for the night and plan a walk in the park or on the shore. Take on the preparation or logistics of something that she normally has to deal with. Tell her why you are doing it:”You deserve a night off.” “You have been working so hard recently.” “I only wanted to steal a few hours of your time.” It’ll cost you nothing and bring you a great deal of gratitude in return.

Purchase her items whose only quality is they make life more beautiful. Scented soaps, practical items with beautiful designs (believe desk accessories or a bud vase for the office). A set of (just ) two wine glasses, coffee mugs, or dessert dishes for the both of you to share at particular moments. Replace something nasty, old, or utilitarian with something amazing: baking or kitchen utensils, water bottles or teacups, calendars or planners, even something as little as a bookmark can pleasure her. Consider something she uses frequently. Let her know that she deserves beautiful things around her daily. 

For more ideas on the best way best to speak her particular gifting language (through acts of service and other methods), read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages

When to Provide

Timing and demonstration matter hugely as to how your gift will be obtained. Below are a few ideas on timing.

Surprise her, but just when she has time to become completely present. Do not give her a present:

  • When she is in the middle of a catastrophe (dog/cat throwing up, baby yelling, children fighting, appliance or automobile broken down)
  • When she is rushing out the door on her way to work or something significant
  • When she walks in the door from a stressful day 
  • Right after a struggle or other psychological breakdown
  • Right after she expresses very negative emotions or self-hate
  • Right after she asks for something from you (more focus, complete a job, or some other version of”you are not doing enough”)
  • When she is exhausted
  • In the very last minute of a significant event (anniversary, birthday, etc.) — do not let her assume you have done nothing special for the Whole day

This is how to time your present for optimum joy and appreciation:

  • Morning is a excellent time, assuming she has the energy and time to appreciate it. She will think fondly of you all of the time you are apart. If mornings are too busy, tell her you’ve got something amazing for her that she will find this evening. She will glow all day. On her pillow in the morning when she wakes, or before bed. At her place at the dinner or breakfast table (hopefully, a place you have set or a dinner you have prepared).
  • Allow some time to pass an argument or other psychological conversation. Based on her character or how bad the debate was, let a couple of hours, a day, a few days pass, but do it before a week has passed. Tell her you have been thinking about what she said and remind her how much she means to you. Tell her you purchased this since it caught your attention while she was in your mind. If it’s possible, connect the present to something she said specifically:”You are right — you deserve to have more time to spend on you; here is something to pamper yourself with tonight.”
  • Strategy for a quiet moment. Set a video on to your children so that you won’t be interrupted. Do the dishes or clean up after dinner so that she can do something for herself. Turn off the TV and ask her to get a couple of minutes of her focus. Wake her up a couple of minutes early on a weekend so you can cuddle. Make some deliberate space so she can concentrate on you and your present.
  • Select a day that would ordinarily be miserable for her. The anniversary of a family member’s death, the first day of college, or the day you ship your oldest off to college. Let her know that you know how she feels and that you would like to give her something positive to think about on this day.
  • Choose a day or date that has little or no expectations.  Giving gifts on birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day is evident and obviously recommended. Your stock is really going to soar, but if you find other events to celebrate which are more unexpected. Surprise her on a Wednesday or the last day of this month. While”just because” is a sufficient reason, these events make for especially good times to present an unexpected gift:
    • The anniversary of your first date
    • The anniversary of the day you suggested
    • The anniversary of the date you initially (your favored romantic event or action )
    • Her first day on a new job
    • A large business or professional achievement
    • A personal landmark, like changing a custom or taking on a challenge

If you are unsure about specific dates, then ask — she will most likely know. (Write them down; after she’s told you, she will assume recalling it means as much to you as it does to her.) If you would like extra points, celebrate occasions that you may know (and, coincidentally, you alone can confirm ). “Thursday, March 12th was the day I realized that I had been in love with you.”  

How to Provide

Presentation matters. You do not have to have good wrapping skills to make a gift look unique, but you do need to put some thought into your presentation:

Do Not:

  • Leave price tags on
  • Deliver the present from the plastic bag from the shop
  • Use wrapping paper in the Incorrect holiday or season
  • Get really catchy with concealing the present that it gets overlooked, thrown away, or swallowed

Do:

  • Keep receipts (for substantial purchases) if she needs to return the product or exchange for another size/color
  • Use gift bags or ask the store to wrap the present if you are not confident doing it yourself
  • Place an unwrapped gift carefully where she can see it and love its presentation before picking it up (put on the pillow or in her place setting with one rose)
  • Insert a small card stating simply:”For you” or”For the woman I love”
  • Request your young kids to wrap the present or make a card
  • Let your cute child deliver the gift, stating something like”Daddy said to Provide this to the prettiest mommy on earth”
  • Have it delivered to the office (check her schedule or inquire about it to make sure she will be in when it is delivered)
  • Present it when you are in public with a great time: out to dinner, in a park, or in any other outing

If you do not have another bank account for buying gifts, consider saving up and paying money for your present. If she must pay the invoice for your gift, it certainly kills the buzz (particularly if she’ll think you under-paid for it). If finances are a problem, save up your spare change to spend on her (you can also let her know that is your plan).

What if your very best effort falls flat? It is possible the gift of clothes, jewelry, or other thing won’t be a fantastic match for her personal style. Should this happen, it is as hard for her as it is for you. She wants very much to honor your present without encouraging more buys like it. You will have to read her body language quite carefully; you should be able to tell the difference between love and not-so-much-love to your attempt.

If you can see it does not work for her, it is fine to admit it out loud. If we swap it and find something which you love? I would like you to feel as beautiful wearing it as I think you seem.” If she buys your gift, listen to (or ask) what she likes better about her selection. Make notes, learn, and grow. She’ll definitely give you credit for trying.

If you will need the bumper sticker version of this whole manual, here it is:”Simple. Personal. Meaningful.” It will work every time.

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She’s been married for several years into the love of her life and a fantastic gift giver. Find her at candacemoody.com.

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