It Is Never Too Late to Move Past Mistakes and Restart Your Life


Do you ever wonder if it is too late to proceed past mistakes and restart your life? Here’s a story from Bridgette, a reader who gives excellent insight on second chances and making a new beginning in life, and in love (printed with her permission).

You know how they say the small pregnancy stick with the two lines will change your life forever? Well for me, it certainly did. He was stuck in his”bad boy” stage, lost his car because of trouble with the law, and was not able to drive to see me anymore. I began to want someone somewhat more responsible.

After a few good months of having fun together, we drank a little too much one night, {} went to his room later. I especially remember the condom breaking, and for a moment we were {} , but we put the thought in the back of our heads. What were the chances that one broken condom could result in anything?

The boyfriend and I meet up, I tell him the information, and we opt to go buy a pregnancy test stick together. It’s positive. He tells me right off that his parents are extremely conservative and will need us to get married. After I spill the news to my mother, she agrees.

After dating my boyfriend for over two decades, I had jumped into a union situation after only 3 months of dating this man. When my son was 13 months old, I had another skipped period, and it was found that the mini pill my doctor put me on was not powerful enough for my young and powerful fertility. My daughter was subsequently born 22 months after my son.

My in-laws offered to help us out if we moved closer to them, from Michigan to North Carolina. My husband got the job move and we made the move. I adored North Carolina, and readily made some intimate mommy friends. While I loved my kids, I felt like I was pushed to motherhood extremely fast in life. I would speak with my friends back home who had been enjoying the life span of a normal woman in their early twenties, and I need to confess I felt jealous. I was always so quiet and studious, and felt that I missed the opportunity to go out and have fun.

I decided not to concentrate so much on the connection, and went back to college to begin focusing on myself.

After nine years of marriage I began to feel as if something wasn’t perfect. An entire decade had almost passed, and we were just in the exact same place where we began. I was ready to finish school and {} a new career. He had recently been fired from his job, and was unable to find new job, yet stayed home playing video games more frequently than he tried to locate a job.

While I tried hard to make things work, including counselling, I got to the point where I was done being put on the back burner in life. It was time to work toward creating a better life for myself and my children. After years of being someone else’s spouse, the urge to be on my own grew increasingly. I was frightened to death to live in my own, but I saved up and made it happen.

Initially, I felt quite scared about dating someone new. Thankfully Gregg gave me the resources and guidance that I had to get back out there. After so many years from the dating pool, I realized it’s important more than ever to maintain a digital relationship going, in addition to a real-life connection.

While I was worried about my children, I can say that they’re doing better than ever. They feel my newfound joy, which has in turn made them happier, too. I’ve been liberated from a lot of things which were holding me back before, and I am confident things will get better and better each day. It is an open world filled with many possibilities, and I am enjoying every second of it!

It is Never too Late to Look Beyond Mistakes and Restart YOUR Life!

Bridgette’s story isn’t that unique. The decision to restart your life is a frightening one for certain, and not one to be dismissed. If you are feeling stuck in a terrible position and feel like a resume may be necessary for you, check out a number of my books. My best recommendation is to begin with Comfortable in Your Own Shoes. Chances are, if you’re at this stage in your life, the very first thing you will need to do is start working on some favorable self-talk and a number of goals.

This post was formerly published on whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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Four Test Dates to Learn


Gregg frequently tells his female readers the very best way to answer the question,”is he a keeper” is to take him on dates which will expose everything about him. As women, we will need to check beyond the killer smile and the six-pack abs, and see the actual man.

You might be person buying, or assessing a new man, dependent on a listing you created. Does he have a fantastic job, or is he a slacker? Is he kind to other people? Does he have a temper? Does he have children, or an ex spouse? Can it be the possessive, jealous type? Is he being honest, or is he a habitual liar? Can he drink too much, or take medication? These ideas running around in your brain could drive a woman mad! However, coming right out and asking him about all this can quickly feel like more of a meeting than a date. Rather than playing reporter, test your new man with these four dates, guaranteed to set your mind at ease. Then, you can make an educated choice on whether {} a keeper.

You could all go grab a beer in a pub, or perhaps you could host a backyard cookout, or sit in on a poker night? This is a really simple way to get some clarity once your eyes are clouded with small hearts (and large biceps). If his friends are immature or if they’re players, odds are your man is too. Take time to speak to all his buddies. If he’s been lying to you all together, an accidental revelation from his close pal may be a true eye-opener.

On the other hand, if he hangs with a fantastic group of men, where does he stand in the bunch? Pay careful attention to the way he behaves around the men? Does he act differently from the man he’s with you? Does he put you {} to his friends, or is he careful and pleased to show off you?

Date #2: The Meet Your Friends Date

You should ensure your friends get to satisfy your new guy also. Throw a little dinner party with the girls or meet up with friends at a pub or restaurant. Girlfriends have your back, and although you might not like what they need to say, they might see something about him that you’re missing — like if he is checking out other girls, or even worse, hitting one of your buddies! Nobody can better answer the question, “is he a keeper” than your friends!

Your girlfriends may also ask the challenging questions for you — those ideas running around your mind and driving you mad! You can even give them a particular list of things that you want to learn, before the get together. After all, you can not help it if your buddies are overprotective of you!

Date #3: The Too Much To Drink Date

In accordance with Gregg, alcohol is just like a man’s truth serum. But if you would like to get the entire truth and nothing but, YOU will need to stay completely sober! If you nurse one drink all night, or stick to sparkling water with a twist of citrus, then go to Happy Hour and see how he behaves. As an alternative, you can fall in while he is out with the men, after he has already had a couple of drinks.

Can it be a loud, rude, or obnoxious drunk? Is he too grabby and acting inappropriately or disrespectfully? Is he aggressive, picking fights with everyone and anyone? Can he be embarrassing himself and acting like a complete idiot? These can be large red flags.

On the other hand, perhaps he’s a few too many but keeps his cool, or perhaps he is a man who does not overdo it and beverages responsibly. You won’t know for certain until you go on this date!

Date #4: The Meet His Family Date

This is last on the list because this normally wouldn’t occur until you’re dating for some time. However, it’s really important to learn how a guy treats his loved ones, and in particular, his mom. This can be quite telling. If he doesn’t respect his own mother, chances are he won’t take care of any girl in his life with respect. Needless to say, if he’s all about Mama and places her over everyone else, including you, you might also need to think twice.

His family knows him better than anybody, so be ready to hear embarrassing stories about his youth. If any critical problems come to light, trust that these are the individuals who love him unconditionally and wouldn’t say something disparaging if it weren’t correct. Needless to say, if he has a strained relationship with his loved ones, you might need to trust the ability of female intuition to let you know what’s true and what’s not. Make certain to keep this in mind — tension and mistrust in a household could be another red flag.

Remember, you’re the chooser. There are good men out there waiting to date you, and possibly you’ve already found one. If you’re not certain about the new guy in your life, take Gregg’s great ideas and test your man with these four dates.

This post was formerly published on whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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The Role of Confidence in Relationship


If you read some of Gregg’s novels , or lots of the blog articles or pages on this website, you find the term”confidence” quite often, and you are probably wondering why in the world we harp on optimism so much. It is Kirbie today, and I will start off by clearly defining what optimism is:

Confidence is knowing what you’re good at, what sort of value you bring to others, and having the ability to behave in a manner that conveys your confidence to people around you.

Do not confuse confidence with arrogance — something which is simple to do! Arrogance comes about once you believe you’re better at something than you are, but you act as though you’re providing more value than you are. Confidence is hot. Arrogance isn’t.

Studies have demonstrated that men are more attracted to the assurance that the woman exudes with a grin than they’re to her general attractiveness.

In the study mentioned above, people were found to favor a confident partner. Confidence makes someone appear more trustworthy — in other words, once you’re confident, guys will believe your relationship sales pitch!

Here are a few ways you may unknowingly be showing your lack of confidence

Giving reasons for things that occur

Let’s say you’re walking up to meet your new man and you trip over something. Somebody who lacks confidence will instantly begin with”There has to be a bump in the carpet there! .” A confident person will most likely chuckle and say”oh well” IF they say anything whatsoever!

Imagine you and your man are out on a bowling date — you figure out how to bowl a 75. Your guy may say something like –“Wow 75! You are like a bowling pro!” Whether it is a top score for a low score, a non assurance individual may say something like”Weeelllllll I had a blister on my head and my shoes were too tight”. Somebody who has great confidence will most likely say something like”YAY ME!” , should they say anything whatsoever! I might note that such a criticism from him reveals his lack of confidence!

Nobody, and I mean nobody, is great at everything, regardless of their desire to be. Someone who lacks confidence expects herself to be good at all and attempts to compensate when confronted. By way of instance, let’s say one of your girlfriends states”Girl you look really beat now!” If you are a certain individual, you might just say”Yea I had a rough night” or something like that. Someone who lacks confidence might say”I am never tired! I do not need sleep!”

Body Language is Everything

We have all heard about using body language to our very best advantage. This goes for confidence also. This arms-folded, legs crossed body language not only shows you as being shut off, but it indicates a lack of confidence. Confident people reserve this place for when they are absolutely freezing OR they’ve been offended. It really says something when you use it correctly!

Perfectionism

This sort of goes back to our poor performance over. Perfectionists do not feel that they can ever make a mistake. It can cause you a lot of turmoil and stress. It may even be painful to some people. Facing an environment where failure may happen can be paralyzing for many people. This goes back to not having sufficient confidence to believe in your abilities to overcome errors. Confident men and women know mistakes are a part of life. As opposed to sweat errors, they realize that a mistake is a learning opportunity and they proceed.

If someone pays you a compliment, how do you respond? Do you get embarrassed and uncomfortable? If so, this shows a lack of confidence. The positive person will hear a compliment and just say”Thank you”.

If you lack confidence, you most likely find it difficult to keep eye contact with someone. In a relationship, this can be quite detrimental as keeping eye contact helps build intimacy and shows you’re paying attention. When you don’t wish to keep eye contact, you’re really suggesting that you don’t need someone to look too far beyond your façade.

Decision Making

I once knew someone who took over a year to purchase a vehicle. At the moment, I could not know it, but now I get it. Bad man (still) can not make a decision to save his life. This is a normal experience for men and women that lack confidence. They do not believe in their capacity to create a decision about the simplest things, hence the biggies, like a car, can be paralyzing.

This list of signs isn’t complete, but these are the highlights. You do not have to do them all, and I believe most people can see ourselves in among these, but the trick now is to identify whether you do lack confidence, so that as you build your confidence back up, you may see it on your activities — and so will others!

This post was formerly published on Whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

A whole list of advantages is here.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here


Are you surrounded by poisonous food? Toxic men and women?

It occurrs to me, through my training, that many of you can’t get out of your way, not because you are not trying, but because your environment are detrimental to your own growth. To put it bluntly — your surroundings sucks!

Hello, Gregg here to weigh in on this important topic!

I am sorry, but when your roommate just pushes tacos down her throat while watching reality shows with her loser boyfriend daily, along with your Mother calls each afternoon wondering what you’re going to do with your life, then it is time for change. Misery loves company — and it is time to take a tough look at what’s contributing to your own distress.

Change comes from within, but to start making changes, it’s important to surround yourself with a support system that motivates you, not one that holds you back. Included in your new vision and goals, there must be a clause saying how you’re going to break free from the”bad business.” And I’m not referring to the 80’s ring.

Talk to your family and friends and get them on board with your targets.

You’ll be amazed, when you ask them, just how supportive they can be. If they are not, then lose these friends or (in the event of household ) limit your vulnerability to times when you’re able to handle their misery.

Reach out to new people

I discuss getting mentors in your life all the time. Go out, find, and stick to these people. These are the couple that share your passions, love to try new things, and have the capacity to shut down their electronic equipment for a second to discuss a genuine thought!

Clean out your surroundings

Unplug the Xbox, clean out the junk food in the cabinets and start Shaun T’s T25 CD work out, then watch your endorphins dance following this gigantic calorie-killing workout!

Have your kindle or IPad billed and beside your favorite chair, loaded with my relationship books! Set up an area out so that you can get out there during pleasant weather and do a few activities. Inside, make a few changes that will signify the changes to come. Make things brighter and throw some positive sayings up on the wall. Establish a yoga and meditation place!

Conclusion

Your surroundings could be the roadblock to your success. Look around and take stock. Ensure your outside, negative impacts are lessened, if not gone. Integrate these 3 things to your new goals (you’re setting new objectives, right?) And see the magic happen!

This post was formerly published on Whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Is He Lying About Being Single? 6 Evidence to Figure it Out


Does He Prove Signs Signs He’s Another Girlfriend?

Hello my lovely readers! Gregg here, and we will need to speak about an important topic… Is he lying about being single? Can he show signs he has another girlfriend? There’s nothing that irritates me more than once a man pretends he’s single, when in fact, he’s married or has a girlfriend. Here is the first of two articles.

This post provides you the hints, and my next article will expose him if he shows the signs!

He does not give you his mobile number

Men don’t be worried about safety in regards to women. We do not need to overly, for the most part, we’re bigger and tougher than you men. The only reason we do not give up it is because we do not need the other woman to discover.

He’s scheduling day time dates with you

You might think he is only a fantastic guy, right? And perhaps he is, but men rarely schedule dates — for one reason — gender does not occur during the day!

I know, I’m being shallow and you do not need to date a man like this anyway, but men think about sex all day long, even the good guys. It’s in our DNA to schedule a date on Friday or Saturday night. Why?

We’ve got a better probability of having sex with you! Having said that, I would like you to schedule dates, not him!

He texts you after 7 pm

Ok, let’s say you have his mobile number. Cool. But men in relationships are scoundrels, many have multiple numbers. If you’re getting texts throughout the day but they”dry up” if the sun goes down, guess what? He’s with his wife or live-in girlfriend.

I know this sounds crazy but, as most of you know, I’m a Dear Abner for girls and I get about 30 mails daily. I’ve had several women which were duped, through no fault of their own, by married men!

An overnight stay is nearly impossible for a man who’s in a relationship unless he travels all the time for work.

He has interrupted when you are on a date

Yes, it might be his boss, but it might also be his girlfriend. If he gets up and walks away from you for solitude, this should raise some red flags. When I’m on a date with a girl I like, I’m not taking calls which aren’t important. A wife or a girlfriend calling is quite important.

He goes MIA

I saved the best (or worst) for last. You know the script, everything is going just dandy and SNAP — where did Mr. Beautiful Blue Eyes disappear too for three days? Does his explanation sound something like this?

  • “I dropped my phone and had to replace it”
  • “I had been very busy with work”
  • “I had to help my sister move”
  • “I left you a text message, did not you get it?”

I don’t know about you but when I lose my phone, I am in the Verizon store in five minutes. And even when I am really active, it takes all of 15 seconds to fire off a text. “Didn’t get the message?” Ah, no.

To sum up…

Gregg, are not you being too cynical? Shouldn’t you give men the benefit of the doubt? After all, he took me out for supper and he’s was nothing but a gentlemen.

No! No! and NO! You’re in the early screening procedure. Reduce the rose colored glasses through which you’re seeing his lovely blue eyes and change back to common sense. If you’re feeling insecure in your relationship, you might not be the issue. There might be another girl in his life.

If he shows the signs over then he is probably in a relationship. Bear in mind, you’re a high value girl and higher value women have alternatives, set boundaries, and make men prove their value through their activities.

This post was formerly published on Whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Get Over Him! 6 Sure Fire Post Split Gear


You have probably landed here because you searched something like how to get over a breakup or how to get over him. The fantastic news is you have come to the perfect location!

He is Gone, Now What?

When you encounter a separation, there are a lot of things happening inside your body and mind. Things you are probably not even conscious of. You are engaging in activities you do not normally do like binge drinking, being sexually promiscuous or going out shopping.

This is a normal part of the procedure. It is your body trying to kickstart your happy hormone production. Tricky, right? Knowing what your body and mind are putting you through can assist you to jumpstart the recovery procedure.

You probably have days when you want to kick him in the…well, we both understand and, quite frankly, it pains me to write it. You’ve got other days when you miss him terribly and want him back, regardless of what you’ve got to do. Heck, you might even have a weak moment at which you hook up with him again, if even for only a night.

When it boils right down to it, what you will need to do is be able to get him over so you can proceed in a healthy manner! You want a few tools, six maybe, to help you process the feelings and come out on the opposite side, raring to go!

Get Over Him By Grieving But Only Briefly

The death of a connection resembles the passing of a loved one. Someone is gone out of your life and you are sad, angry, hopeful and occasionally, in denial. So as to get him over, you want to proceed through these phases without allowing this despair to consume you.

Use your determination to make it through this. Do not let this bring you down, at least not for long!

A excellent way to do that is find something to keep you occupied. Are you enthusiastic about any causes? Are there far away friends you can see? Can you redecorate your kitchen or bedroom?

Dig into a couple of these today. Use sites like Meetup to find activities near you. Become involved in your community.

What is important is to stop asking yourself, Why Did He Leave?

It is time to shoo him out of your life. Pictures, emails, texts and Facebook memories bring him back in full, living color. Getting rid of these helps you get over him! If you do not have any company with each other, block him from social networking and your mobile phone.

Feel the anger over the breakup and use that energy to boot him out of your life. Stop visiting areas you know he frequents. If it means getting a new fitness center, do it. If you will need to hang out in a different Starbucks, do it. All those places are merely ways for one to cave during a weak moment. Then you must go through this all over again.

Who has time for it?

Not you because you just got yourself busy!

You are never going to send it to him, it is for you. You will need to say what you would like to convey to him but, in the end, you will need to do something significant. Forgive him.

What?

Yes, forgive him. Even if you don’t feel like forgiving him, your last line should read something like,”Alex, I forgive you for your angry outbursts that made me fearful.” When you have written the letter, walk away from it for a couple of days.

When you return, read it out loud, slowly. Allow the feelings to come. Feel them, do not stuff them.

When you have read the letter, safely locate a place to burn it. After it is safely burned, turn around and walk off.

Get Into The Fitness

There’s lots of tension and anger that has a breakup. Your body is undergoing a continuous does of fight or flight chemicals which, in the long run, is unhealthy.

Exercise is one of the best ways to eliminate that stress. It releases endorphins that negate these fight or flight chemicals. Even taking a ten-minute walk may go a long way toward relieving stress and it is something you can do, even as you’re on the job.

Does exercise help you relieve stress but it makes it possible to start to think about yourself. You probably concentrated some of your time and energy. Now, use it all on your own! You deserve to care for yourself and now is the day to begin!

If you can spend a complete spa day, do it. Let someone else massage you and care for you. Drink in some wonderful chamomile tea and let your worries float from the steam. Get your nails done and feel fairly.

At the conclusion of your Me Day, go out with some girlfriends or curl up with a good book and relax. You earned this afternoon. Make it what you want!

Moms especially have to do this. Now that you are single, you might feel you will need to put 200 percent of your energy and time into your children. The truth is you want to care for yourself. What good are you for them if you are completely run down? Let them find out what it means to look after yourself.

Rediscover Who You’re

I predict this recalibrating. You’re a part of a pair but now you are single. Your worth altered to accommodate his. Now you want to determine what your values are. What do you think in? What will your bounds be going to a new relationship?

These are all very important questions that only you can answer. Take a moment and really discover the answers.

This post was formerly published on Whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Hi Ladies, Tiffany today. Do you need to learn how to spark an instant connection with someone new? Below are some easy to follow dating ideas that will allow you to make a wonderful first impression!Of course you need to make a terrific first impression when you meet someone new, especially if someone is a handsome possible boyfriend. It is really easier than you would believe! Here are four easy dating pointers that will assist you shine….It’s easy to get caught up in a one-sided dialog, where you speak non-stop about yourself in a bid to impress, especially if your nerves take over. Regrettably, this tactic will often backfire, leaving him disinterested, and leaving you wondering why. Next time you meet a new guy, avoid the temptation to over-share. Rather than making it all about you, keep the dialogue flowing back and forth. Needless to say, do not interrogate him with questions. Respond with real interest, and actually get to know each other!Stay Cool, Calm, And Collected It is normal to feel somewhat anxious and jittery on a first date. But do not let your nerves get the best of you! Take a deep breath, relax and concentrate on him. Odds are he is just as nervous as you, so make him feel at ease and the conversation will flow naturally! Speaking of conversation, be sure to speak slowly and clearly. Rambling on is a certain indication of insecurity. Men are attracted to confidence, and when he feels comfortable when he is with you he is going to want to spend more time with you!Be Aware Of Body Language According to Psychology Today, being in sync with another individual is attractive. If you correct your posture to meet his, and follow his gestures, it is going to make you infinitely more alluring. To establish an immediate connection, mirror the tip of his head, make eye contact, smile when he smiles, and change your body along with him. We can communication volumes with our own bodies! Occasionally lean in toward him when he says something interesting. Keep you feet pointed forward towards him, with your legs uncrossed and comfy. Arms should be also be uncrossed in a natural position with your hands open and relaxed. And be somewhat flirtatious by touching your jewelry or your own hair. This is considered positive body language, a hot topic when it comes dating tips for women!Keep Things Actual All of us know and love Gregg Michaelsen, Boston’s shirts dating coach, and bestselling writer of dating information books. If you have read any of his novels, you know self-esteem is an integral issue in his dating tips for women. Gregg reminds us over and over again that we’re quality ladies, and we should never change ourselves for anybody or give up who we are, especially for a guy. Do not lie and say things simply to impress a man. Be honest and open about your likes and dislikes from the beginning, and allow him to get to know the real you, and how amazing you are! If he does not like you for who you are, or if you do not have anything in common, he is not a great fit for you anyhow! Do not sweat it. You can have your pick of men, and your ideal match might be just around the corner waiting to have an immediate connection with you! Nerves can find the best of him also, and there might be an excellent man hidden under all that narcissistic, insecure drifting. Now if he makes it all about him when you meet again, that is a whole’nother story!This post was previously printed Who Holds the Cards Now? and is republished here with permission from the author. –◊ ◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood ◊ ◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.–Photo credit: iStock

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4 Roadblocks Which Can Be Keeping You From Love

Women ask Gregg all of the time, “Why Can’t I Find Love?” Most of us want to love and be loved. It is amazing to feel a true, lasting relationship with another person — to be fortunate enough to discover that someone who makes our hearts race, somebody we could actually settle down for the long haul.

However, the path to love could be bumpy, with some serious twists and turns. If we are not careful, we could get rid of control or worse, hit a roadblock that completely stops a connection in its tracks. Best advice? Avoid these 4 roadblocks that are keeping you out of love.

#1 Beware of the Superficial

It’s easy to get lost in a shallow checklist of qualities you seek in a partner. But bear in mind, you aren’t purchasing a car! A sexy body and shiny good looks only take you so far. If you can not find love, then quit stressing about things that don’t really matter. Up to now, you’ve only dated blonds (since you’ve got thing for Brad Pitt), or men taller than you in heels. Just how far has that gotten you?

Physical attraction is important, but did you ever notice how a man gets more (or less) attractive the longer you get to know him? That hunky man who treats you badly can quickly fall to a zero, while the sweet guy who makes you laugh may unexpectedly rev your motor.

Do not get stuck on a checklist. Rather, open yourself up to new possibilities and see where it takes you. Have you dated an older guy? Tried dating a younger man? How about a man that loves motorcycles? The happiest relationships share basic values, compatible interests, and travel deeper than what is on the surface.

#2 Do Not Let Anxiety Hold You Back

Dating is full of doubt, and it can be intimidating. Instinctively, you might feel a little bit of anxiety about the entire thing, and begin to prevent dating altogether. Or if you’re putting yourself out there, you might opt to floor it in reverse once things get going.

Rather than stressing and focusing on the negative, envision the best-case scenario. Picture the two of you reaching that destination together. Let yourself feel happy. Do not let worry halt your odds of finding love.

#3 Ditch The Baggage and Travel Light

In To Date A ManYou Must Know A Man, dating trainer Gregg Michaelsen teaches us about luggage handling. And as usual, it is is a terrific bit of connection and dating information ! The message is simple, and as plain to see as a flashing road sign. Do not let your bags slow you down.

Bear in mind, guys have bags too, and they find it refreshing when we’re fair and unload it right from the beginning. Provided that you keep it positive and light, you must have nothing but green lights ahead. He will, then, feel comfortable enough to let you in on his luggage also. Get it out there and leave it all behind. That’s the ideal way to start your trip together — traveling light!

A lot people get scared when we get too near. That old luggage resurfaces again, and we start making comparisons. We do not want to get hurt again. We become uncertain, or we become afraid to make a commitment. We put up walls and distance ourselves out of love, which makes it almost impossible to move forward.

Don’t get stuck on your head. You may think that you are protecting yourself from a significant disaster, but in fact, you’re merely preventing yourself from reaching the location where you really need to be. If you are not open to love, then you’ll never get there. Stay on track, move past the fear, and make a decision to keep your heart open.

There’s a good deal of dating tips for girls out there. Because love may be a tricky road full of obstacles. But the simple fact is, we might just be responsible for a number of those roadblocks. Like a fantastic Driver’s Ed refresher course, sometimes we need a little reminder to prevent the things which get in the way of our happiness.

Click HERE and Learn to Enjoy Being Single!

The finish line is in sight — so avoid those roadblocks, and enjoy the ride!

This post was previously printed Who Holds The Cards Now?

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Beware the shallow.

The article 4 Roadblocks That Are Keeping You From Love appeared first on The Great Men Project.

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Relationship in the Workplace

Hello — Tiffany here. OK, maybe I watch too many films, but there’s something exciting about a workplace romance. Maybe he is the stunning new guy who makes your heart race and distracts you from the deadline, or the sweet, cute guy with whom you work hot day in and day out. Irrespective of where you find him, finally, the sparks fly and you can not deny the attraction any longer.

Since almost all of our time is spent in the office, it is not surprising that relationship a colleague happens pretty frequently. In actuality, according to a recent poll of 8,000 workers, conducted by the job-search site CareerBuilder.com, four out of 10 people have dated someone they work with. Add to that the Payscale office romance report that shows one out of five individuals who gave inter-office relationships a shot ended up marrying their coworker, and you might be tempted to try it yourself! But, there are some wise rules to follow before you dip in.

Do Follow the Business Policy On Dating

Every organization is different and you will need to be certain that you aren’t breaking any corporate regulations which could jeopardize your work and negatively affect your professional career. Several organizations have no-fraternization policies, which means you want to determine if dating the man is worth the risk of being fired, if this is the case. If relationship is permitted, do be honest and open, and make sure to notify your boss first before everyone else finds out. You don’t have to enter the details of your love life, but you and your coworker need to professionally admit that you’re dating so your supervisor isn’t caught off guard.

Do Establish Rules From the Beginning

Before you and your colleague head down this route, it is a fantastic idea to have a discussion about what’s appropriate and what’s not. Even if you’re open about the relationship, posting images and sharing TMI (too much information) on social media is a large no-no. The same should go for physical displays of affection in front of your colleagues (heavy and hot kissing and the innocent things such as hugging and holding hands). Skip the cutesy terms of endearment. Keep it professional in the workplace, and work–related social gatherings — that includes happy hour with your colleagues, however hard that may be!

Do Not Date The Boss

This is a BIG one. Dating someone higher on the workplace ladder than you may just lead to trouble, especially if he’s the person you report to. If you seriously can not resist each other, ask to report to somebody else or find another job. You will need to be careful in this type if scenario, to avoid heated arguments and hard feelings within the connection, or accusations of favoritism from colleagues who feel threatened by your connection. It’s simple to become the target of workplace gossip once the boss is your main squeeze, and sadly you may be accused of using sex to get ahead, despite the fact that it’s simply not correct.

Do Not Bring Work Home

It’s difficult not to talk shop once the day is done, but working together isn’t the only element of your relationship. Maintaining the focus on the job is a surefire method to fizzle out fast. You must keep it professional in the workplace, but your personal, personal time is an entirely different story. On a different note, spending all day and all night together can be too much of a fantastic thing. It’s easy to get caught up in a new connection, but do not neglect the other areas of your life, particularly when dating a coworker. Carving out time for yourself, having lunch with a buddy, or arranging a girl’s night out is really good for your relationship. Just do not spend the whole time talking about your new man!

Some Last Thoughts

Although you may find the love of your life in the cubicle next to you, not all office romances end happily. If the relationship does not work out, you still need to find that person every day — and work with him. Even if he was a complete jerk, take the high road and do not vent to colleagues about your negative feelings. Do not fume or mope around, and do not let your own personal issues get in the way of your professional working relationship. You’re both adults, so hopefully he’ll have the same respect for you. And if you follow Gregg’s advice, you may bring in an excellent person in no time — in or out of the office.

A version of the post was previously printed Who Holds the Cards Now?

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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All of us have connection stories to talk about, some good, some awful. In my book, Manimals, coming out soon, one of the things I discuss is why we choose the wrong mate. This story comes now from one of my loyal readers, Susannah.Susannah’s Story My story begins longer ago than I want to admit — 36 decades back, when I was a sophomore in high school. I had a little group of friends — 3 girls and 3 guys with some on the periphery. The woman across the street, we will call her Amy, was dating one of the men on the periphery, and one day, right before we went, they broke up.I was attracted to him like a fly into a pile of…well, you know what. I was seriously lacking in confidence for reasons too many to go into here. Suffice it to say I had little confidence. Like most 16 year olds, I had little idea about what I believed in, what I wanted from life, or anything else for that matter. He was handsome, a tiny goof-off, but not too bad, smart and he worked out. Hubba hubba.I will sum up our high school dating years by stating that we dated from that day at the bowling alley through to graduation, with a brief break in our senior year. Major mistake, looking back, but I because I had no confidence, I believed that no other man would ever want to date me, so I hung onto him and fought hard for him when he chose to date Karen, then Diane. Finally, I”won”, or at least I thought so back then-what I actually did was board the train to connection failure. My parents hated my relationship him, their feelings were not any great secret.We went to different schools, but they were just about 45 minutes away from each other, so we still saw one another quite a bit. On Christmas of the freshman year of college, we were engaged. By the following December, we were welcoming our first daughter to the world — married somewhere in between. Our son was born two years later, immediately before my husband graduated from school.Our marriage survived for 12 years prior to the divorce which was unavoidable came about. By then, we had three brothers and a son, ranging in age from 2 to 11. I knew I was miserable, but I had no idea how miserable I’d become.What ultimately broke up us was that, during the prior 4 decades or so, I had begun volunteering in the private school our kids attended. I developed friendships, hobbies and a feeling of self-worth. Since he had none, and had lived on being the controlling force in our relationship, me gaining confidence simply didn’t make things work anymore.Looking back on it, it isn’t hard to dissect why we failed. I didn’t understand myself — whatsoever, and neither did he. We lacked confidence in a big way, and had many problems to deal with — things we ought to have dealt with before jumping into a relationship.Ken really does not fall into one of the ten types of guys I included in Manimals. If I had to tag him, I would say he fits into a class known as the Control Freak. The Control Freak can be described as somebody who feels just he can do something the right way. He issues constructive criticism, believing he is helping, when of course, he is not. The truth behind a control freak is that he’s experiencing a case of anxiety. In the mind of a control freak are what I predict ultimate doom thoughts:If this job does not get done in just 15 minutes, I will get fired If I’m not home to play with my children, they will hate me If I do not get a lift, we won’t be able to afford to live He believes that if you can just change a couple of things on your own, he would be more happy; the control freak therefore takes it upon himself to help you make those adjustments; he doesn’t think in imperfection, so he micromanages you to be certain you’re perfectly executing all facets of your life; He frees you with silence — with this as a tool to alter your behaviour when he feels that you’re behaving in a wrong manner; this is known as passive aggressive behaviour; He offers constructive criticism as a way of attempting to modify your behaviour, when actually, his schedule is foremost in his thoughts; He tries to control your impression of him by altering what he believes in or who he’s to fit what they believe you want:Can I enjoy horror films? Sure I do — oh, you do not — yeah, I think they’re helpless too; He uses something called fear mongering to dissuade you from doing things you want to do — he presents a worst-case situation and expects it influences your choice:You know, if you do this job, you won’t be home for the children and they’ll begin hating you; He wants to understand everything, ambiguity is the worst nightmare of a control freak — if you’re going into the supermarket, he would like to see your list, estimate how long you’ll be gone and your journey time, and will expect you to be back in precisely the moment he’s calculated; anything else will cause him to pop a cork — incidentally, he will come and go as he pleases; He assists you by intervening in situations, attempting to describe behaviors of yours which he perceives to be unacceptable. The control freak is kind of an odd name for this sort of individual who, in fact, feels that he has very little control over his life. He lives in fear of someone discovering that he’s somewhat less than ideal, and utilizes the aforementioned tactics to ensure this does not happen.The Rest of Susannah’s Story When you’re in the somewhat less-than-capable hands of a control freak, you probably don’t know it, but others around you do. My ex-husband had difficulty controlling anger. He never hit among our kids, or me, but he utilized psychological abuse as a weapon — and it’s every bit as bad as physical abuse. My parents watched it — everyone around us saw it, everybody except me, that is.I’ve been divorced from him today for 20 years. It took me several years to really gain the confidence I needed to proceed in life. Meanwhile, I continued to select the wrong guys to be about, but I have not remarried. I will, some day. I finally feel that I am ready to make a fantastic choice! Now it is your turn to talk about your stories of guys you’ve dated in the comments below. Feel free to change names if you feel it is needed. We would like to hear your tales of woe — or achievement!–A version of the post was previously published on WhoHoldsTheCardSnow and is republished here with permission from the author. — ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS. A whole list of advantages is here.–

My story begins longer ago than I’d like to admit

The article All Aboard the Train to Relationship Failure appeared first on The Great Men Project.

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