This Is the Reason a Relationship Needs to Be a Fair Game

Let’s face it — we can’t think everything must be black or white today.

We will need to accept that anything in the world we live in has grey areas–and so do our relationships. Fear not! It’s truly a fairly good balance, but for this to be so, we {} agree on such a reality.

Once we’ve acknowledged that belief, it all starts with self-acceptance. Therefore, what we consider our own true selves, and how we respect ourselves brings the lines and construction of our connection.

Once we’ve settled our own values and criteria comes the opportunity to consider how we want to deal with our love with a specific person we met at any stage.

Be prepared for it since we might follow some directions –such as when we were playing Monopoly–so we could finally be successful in creating strong bonds with this particular individual and make them last.

A connection is somewhat like a match. A game with directions. A game that’s supposed to have two winners.

Rather than competing, we’re encouraging an exceptional game with an exceptional teammate–the ideal teammate we might ever have. That game has rules, boundaries, and strategies, yet we ought to be certain that both people agree to the directions based on a win-win circumstance.

It needs to be a fair game that does not lead us our beloveds to be a hermit, that does not make them feel mistreated or not as powerful, which does not allow any control freak.

With that said, we should never {} that that individual can make us feel whole. If we do this, we may not feel happy for many, many years during our lives. Why?

Just because some relationships aren’t meant to be. Some relationships do not work any longer after a while.

And let’s be realistic hereif a separation needs to become official, if a divorce must be signed–What do we have left if we put our energies in this connection? What do we have left if we have always sacrificed our own needs to be able to adapt our partner’s needs first?

It’s nobody’s function to make us feel happy or accomplished in our lives, it’s our own duty before anything else. As a special individual, most of us have some issues to take care of. All of us have some concerns to consider. All of us have some issues to face… and that is a great deal for a human, is not it?

Thus, when it comes the opportunity to fulfilling that person, spending some time together, creating feelings for them, and sharing love together, we clearly do not expect this relationship to be an extra issue in our own lives (as we genuinely do not wish to give them a hard time.) We’re just prepared to live that love story of ours at the best conditions, and it’s in fact understandable.

Because of this, that individual who sincerely loves us makes us feel great, comfortable, calm, and all of the rest.

Yet, those”great” feels aren’t about our personal well-beings, but about the relationship per se.

The planet is made of a wide assortment of kinds of people. Nobody is the same, and we will need to accept the fact that you, him, her, and I think, speak, act, act, and feel otherwise. The world is moving ahead, and so are we and our fans. But again, it’s all on us to make a choice, and it’s our private jobs to inquire –Are we ready for this? Are we prepared to believe in it?

Most of us have different interests–thank God. Sometimes we meet people who enjoy the same things as ours. A few other times, we find individuals who do not share the same passions. This fact might be true in our relationship also, but it is okay; we do not have to fake it, we do not have to pretend anything.

Therefore, we do not need to step back because we do not like everything our partners enjoy or because they do not have the same hobbies as ours–we do not need to step back because they do not binge on Netflix or do not enjoy the Marvels.

We can’t criticize that someone for liking something that on our own we do not feel any significance for. Actually, we can’t blame them for anything. Period.

We’re in control of how we feel and how we wish to take care of our emotions. Thus, if something does not work out how we would like it to work, it’s because we’re confused in our beliefs (or we finally gave up.)

Again, we can’t put the blame on somebody else, and certainly not on that somebody. This rule works the other way around also.

But we do have the right to earn a stand. We do have the right to encourage them if this is what we want.

We’re the one in charge of making any choice for ourselves, in precisely the exact same manner as we are the one and only one to understand what our actual feelings are toward that person. And we should not lie to ourselves in this respect.

Listening to our heads without ignoring our hearts is something we have to take under account. While the latter communicates with us through emotions and feelings, our minds, at the contrary, always attempt to be reasonable. It is inclined to question ourselves (so you can be sure we get confused at some point.) So, here is what we will need to do: listen to both.

If we pick both of those, the end result may not wind up being great. It’s in fact hard work. It’s tough, demanding and very time-consuming. The procedure is very lengthy, if not endless, but it’s worth it. It’s definitely worth it.

Neither is love just a sense that brings us a few benefits or advantages in life is it only a feeling which makes us”love” ourselves. Love is nothing else than a sense we’ve got toward that someone and vice versa. And having the ability to follow our heads and our hearts may help us to love–love.

Our partners certainly have amazing sides yet, we must learn how to take their flaws because if we’re being honest here; nobody is ideal.

Neither them nor you (and certainly not me)–and it is all nice, it means we’re humans.

-From Mathilde Clemence Personne

A version of the post was formerly published on TheMindsJournal and is republished here with permission from the author.

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