–Three loaded words. They imply infatuation, fascination, hope, desire, despair, happiness, fear, jealousy, devotion, and a shit-ton more. We state them when we think we mean them when we expect we mean them when we know we do not mean them when we can not help but mean, when we just utilized to mean them. They’re a watershed for each affair, hopefully, when you have exhausted your capacity to express affection and gratitude for somebody by saying that you like them, love them, love them, etc. You say them once you end up prefixing every compliment with”actually,” using more superlatives than an over-caffeinated preteen, and you’re powerless to convey your feelings in any other conditions.You say them if a individual becomes the axis around which your ideas and feelings revolve, and you know you could not deny them whatever it was in your power to give them. You say them once you know you could forgive a person for so much your sanity and well-being are theirs to undergird or dismantle. You say, like someone who’s just sober enough to understand {} drunk, waving helplessly and thankfully goodbye to a sense of control and objectivity.The first time you opt not to say them, when you admit to yourself that you have not supposed them in a while, or when you would still imply them, but it has become immaterial, is often the most painful experience of your lifetime. They’re, possibly, the three riskiest words in the English language, and anyone who has lived, really lived, knows they’re as much of a precipice as strong bedrock. When you have everything to lose and you are prepared to put it down for somebody, you say, a prayer and a promise,”I love you”–What’s Next in The Great Men Project? Improve your relationships. Join our Love, Sex, Etc..  Connect the Sex, Love Etc.. We think you will enjoy our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS–WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to talk, gain insights, build communities– and help resolve some of the most troublesome challenges the world has now. Calls are for Members Only (though you can combine the first call for free). Join now! Join The Great Men Project Community All levels get to see The Great Men Project website AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS–combine as many groups and courses as you need for the whole year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to some ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–along with other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a {} ad-free viewing experience. <! Please note: If you’re already a writer/contributor in The Great Men Project, log in here prior to enrolling. (Request a new password if desired ).◊♦◊ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 annually ) includes:1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Combine all of our weekly forecasts, Social Interest Groups, courses, workshops, and personal Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or internet class each and every day of the week. 2. See the site with no advertisements when logged in! 3. MEMBER commenting badge. ***ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 annually ) includes all of the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class. ***ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you aren’t ready to join the complete conversation but wish to support our mission anyway. You’ll still receive a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time (Friday calls only). This is for men and women that think –just like we do–that this conversation about men and changing characters and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can get now. Need more details? Click here. ♦◊♦We’ve pioneered the biggest worldwide conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspirational and valuable. What We Talk About When We Talk About Guys –Photo courtesy iStock.

They mean everything.

The post Three Small Words appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Are you mad that she is getting married or that you never TOLD her how you felt about her?


Question: A woman I have had a crush on since our senior year in high school just sent me an email 5 decades after (it was a mass email) stating she’s getting married. We’ve never been anything and obviously now will not be anything but I am angry. Can I have a right to be mad? She’s always seen me as a friend and I have not expressed how I felt {} I feel like I just got kicked in the gut.

Response: Obviously love, you’ve got the right to feel whatever’s authentic to you. This is your life, your experiences, your choices, your emotions… your experience of living.

So in the event you are feeling kicked in the stomach… what is it that you can not stomach? The fact that she is getting married or that you never TOLD her how you felt about her? Is it maybe that you can not stomach that you did not take action, be daring, appear and risk rejection for the potential benefit of true love?

This is a very wonderful wake up call to show you the pain in your heart if you don’t at least show up and give it your all.

I remember my 10th and final address in Toastmasters back in Kamloops BC where I grew up. I quoted some Styx tune (years afterwards sat at a desk with the entire band at a charity event and told them this story). Show up. “Sailing off” I think it was. “Placing my course for the virgin sea. I have got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me…Carry on.” Jeez it is all coming back as I am typing now… that was 25 yrs ago!!!

So love, in that speech I told everybody I had a dream to be a dancer and traveling the world. I told them I’d rather fail than have this gray cloud of”what if” follow me about my entire mediocre life. I told them I was going to be completely consumed with no regrets.

For you, fantastic man, this experience appears to be inviting you to find that if you do not go for it entirely, the sorrow is difficult to stomach. Granted rejection stings, yet it moves and leaves you stronger and more confident for having shown up.

In a bitter sweet manner, say Thank You for that mass email for it woke you up. Dedicate to speaking your truth, regardless of what the consequences, and observe the Universe series up to encourage you in your dreams, which might just turn out better than you could ever imagine. And finally, send the woman a blessing of health, joy and liberty… for you can not have something on your own till you help another have it…

Funny… I am at Skyzone with my son while I am writing this and the DJ just begun to play with HAPPY by Farrell. Be happy that you have got this lesson now… and continue lovely man.

Allana
xooxox

A version of the post was previously published on Allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

A whole list of advantages is here.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

My Very Best Friend’s Husband is Giving Me the Cold Shoulder

Now, it’s been about two decades and every time she would like to visit — he’s conveniently busy. It does not matter what it is, he somehow finds a way to disappear. Do I want to be friends with him also to maintain my relationship with my very best friend?

Response: This is inquisitive and I trust your consciousness that something’s up or has changed. Yet honestly, I would not let it disturb you. It is preferable of course that everyone’s one big happy family and’ not really realistic, is it? He could encounter and it would be strained or uneasy… this way he is not around and you have girl time.

There has to be something you activate in him, perhaps you are super confident, you’re highly intuitive, maybe he is shy, or perhaps simply your styles of comedy are different and he is not his very best self around you. That’s cool. That is his stuff.

I would not make your friend wrong about it. I would not take it personally. Just maintain allowance and let it all go. Hell, maybe he is super turned on by you and wants to honor his wife by remaining away! Maybe he hates your own cooking!

What is important is that your friend is happy. And your connection with her keeps expanding and growing. See if you’re able to enlarge your heart even wider than before and love her even though her husband does not want to hang around you.

Last, and I am not saying that is happening… yet if you’re highly intuitive, and you smell a rat a mile away, and he is using your friend, with an affair on her, stealing from her and he senses you are onto him, this could make him prevent you… that is highly improbable and you don’t have to search for something that is not there… just stay on your heart open consciousness and all will unfold as it is meant to.

All my love,
Allana

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

◊♦◊

If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.

Photo credit: istockphoto

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Here are the top 11 things to give up, to get exactly what you desire from your union. Marriage is a catchy cake to bake. But as soon as you have all the appropriate ingredients in the ideal amount, you can have one healthy and joyous married life. For once, it is safe to say, happy marriage isn’t a myth. The majority of us forget that to achieve something we will need to give up on certain things.And astonishingly’these things’ you will need to give up aren’t helpful to any person in any relationship, be it marriage or otherwise. Some of these are likely to be things that can allow you to improve yourself as an individual.For a union to flourish, its necessary for both the partners to work on their own issues and make a joint contribution to the union to blossom. After these toxic elements of a relationship is eliminated, your union life will be smoother, saving it from culminating to a divorce.Here are 11 things to give up, to get more out of your union:1. Marriage ought to be like an empty canvas where both of the spouses put in colors to create a new masterpiece — allow the union grow into what it’s supposed to be. Unrealistic expectations have high odds of suffocating a relationship since most of these are unachievable and based on absurd ideas about another person. It’s essential that a union is based on expectations that are possible for another person to meet without needing to compromise too much in their own parts. When the expectations get unattainable, both the spouses don’t stand up to themselves that lead to additional up resentment and bitterness from the union.2. Give up controlling every otherWhen two energetic individuals interact in a connection, it’s inevitable for them to have clashing views and value system. If you always stick with your {} , principles and values rigorously disregarding another person’s opinions, you’re simply being poisonous in the union. All you will need to do is be certain that you don’t restrain your partner just because they’re having a character distinct from you. Control kills love and makes a hostile family environment.3. No matter how long you’re married to one another, your partner isn’t your property. You will need to let your partner breath freedom. Give him/her the room to grow. As soon as you’ve a strong foundation of confidence, you’ll be easily able to free yourself from needing to possess your spouse. Possessiveness is only going to make it harder for your spouse to be his/her authentic self.4. Stop criticisingGive up on the toxic habit of criticizing your spouse for many of his inabilities and adversities and begin appreciating every little effort on his/her role. Be vigilant of every little effort your spouse puts in the connection and remember to compliment him/her for pulling off something that may even seem insignificant.A few sweet words for your partner can take you a long way from the journey you began together.5. Give up the need to Repair your partnerRather than savoring, adoring and praising one another, nurturing the present connection, we waste our valuable time and energy seeking perfection, in ourselves and in our partners. Every human beings possess his/her vices that make them who they are. As their abilities, their adversities also make them look more humane. A relationship isn’t about’fixing’ or’mending’ those defects on your partner. Rather, your job is to take each other the way you are and make a few alterations here and there.A true bond isn’t about how perfect you are about how perfectly you manage each others imperfection. ~ Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years6. Give up your jealous behaviour A capable and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. The main cause of jealousy is insecurity. Neither of those spouses will feel jealous if they work on their unique insecurities. A connection based on emotional intimacy, transparency and understanding won’t bread jealousy as two people in such a connection consider themselves a team instead of two distinct individuals competing with one another.7. Give up blaming each otherMost of what occurs to us is in our own hands, however much we want to bypass this actuality. It’s a lot easier to project your errors and mistakes on an external variable — your spouse, as it gives you a opportunity to escape accountability. Start taking responsibility for your own activities. The more you’re egoistic about your flaws and project it on to your spouse, the toxic your union gets. You must stop yourself swirling in the course of guilt tripping and blame shifting with your spouse. Then demonstrate it. Be happy, regardless of what they are doing. Practice feeling great, no matter what. And before you know it, you won’t give anyone else responsibility for how you feel-and then, you will love them all. Since the only reason you do not love them, is because you are using them as your excuse to not feel great. — Esther Hicks8. Give up the need to always be appropriate Remember when you and your spouse first started dating? Remember how amazing and how lovingly you talked to one another? Back then, you concentrated more on how this person made you feel and the way you made this individual feel, rather than focusing on whether this person was right or wrong. A relationship isn’t an exam — there is no need to rate each other’s activities and mark them every moment.Common courtesy plays a major part in happy marriages. They do not want to hurt one another’s feelings, and they do not attempt to create another one feel humiliated. Individuals that are married for life are incredibly kind to one another. Frank Pittman9. Give up on being clingySelf-reliance is a really celebrated characteristic in a person, no matter you’re single or not. Marriage of-course means being there for each other, being supportive of one another, emotionally catering to each other and understanding each other. These does not comprised being clingy to one another. There’ll be times when you’ll need to take control over your own self to appeal to yourself. Becoming clingy makes your spouse suffocate on the connection. Take your own control on your own, occasionally, for a change.10. Give up your emotional baggageThe past has no power to prevent you from being present today. What’s grievance? The baggage of old emotion and thought. When you allow your past influence your current, you reduce your odds of making your future a better place to live in. Letting go of your past, gradually, each pain, every negativity at a time, makes it possible to enlarge your future horizons.Our previous experiences, especially the negative ones, hold us back from living in the moment and making the most out of it. Once in a while let go of this fear and embrace change for a positive life tomorrow.11. What we end up confusing is, affection and love. Attachment comes from a place of fear, insecurity and anxiety while love is pure, free of bitterness, kind, and selfless. Love is prepared to detach and let go if the relationship between two people becomes toxic and detrimental to the healthy growth and development of both parties. In the beautiful words of Deepak Chopra,Love allows your loved the liberty to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your wants and desires. Love imposes no requirements. Attachment expresses an overwhelming need — Make me feel complete. Love expands beyond the limits of 2 individuals. Attachment attempts to exclude everything but two individuals.Partners try hard to not allow their union get poisonous but unknowingly they end up killing everything amazing about the bond. Never disdain your instinct. If you feel something is going amiss, something is off, instantly take notice and talk about it out with your spouse. If nothing works out, it’s not required to keep dragging a dead marriage. After all, your psychological health, peace and well being is more important than anything else on the planet.If you’re not satisfied on your own, you can never be happy in any relationship.The actual act of marriage occurs in the center, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. If it’s true that marriages are intended to last for life, why is it that so many folks get divorced? What do you think is the essential ingredient to produce a marriage work? –A version of the post was previously published on Themindsjournal.com and is republished here with permission from the author.◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.–Photo credit: Unsplash.com

Surprisingly’these things’ you will need to give up aren’t helpful to any person in any relationship, be it marriage or otherwise.

The article 11 Items to Give Up to Get More From a Marriage appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here