You Can’t Control Your Environment, You May Just Control Your Reaction To It


You can not control your environment, you can only control your response to it. Let us talk about this now, and let us break it down into a few basic principles.

Say you are driving behind someone you absolutely can not stand. You do not know them, but you definitely can not stand them because they are driving far slower than the rate limit.

What should you do?

The issue is that man in front of you’ve got no idea why you are honking at him. He is just enjoying his afternoon.

He is thinking about the terrific assembly he just had, or about how he can not wait to get home so he could have sex with his wife. He can not figure out why there’s a maniac behind him honking his horn.

Here is the bottom line: You can not control him.

Say you’re wishing to approach a girl you see in the supermarket. A good deal of you get a lot on your head and think to yourself,”Oh man, I must say the perfect thing. If I say the perfect thing, she’s going to be turned on by me that she’ll want to go out with me. So I must think of the specific right thing to say so that I can find the response I want.”

The trouble with this sort of thinking is that you can not control her response. All you can do is control the way you’re in that circumstance.

If you walk over to her as a confident, strong man — a man who believes in himself and that he is as a man and who believes he’s a gift — then that’s all you do in this circumstance.

That is all you can control.

Say you’re heading out on a third date with a girl, and all you can think about is how badly you want to have sex with her that evening. So you plan out the whole night carefully.

You cook her dinner in your home. You open up a bottle of wine. You have even put an extra toothbrush in the toilet, since you’re so sure she will spend the night with you.

At the end of the night, you are making out with her. Things appear to be going perfectly, then she looks at you and says”I have to get home. I have an early meeting tomorrow, but let’s pick up this another night.”

Most men will immediately enter”I wish to control her response” mode. They’ll enter salesman manner, and try to sell her on staying over by saying something like”Please remain. I would like to be with you.”

The reality is, however, that you don’t understand what’s actually behind her leaving. She is in the midst of her time, and does not want her first time having sex with you to be while she is on her period.

She might, as she said, have an early meeting. She may be thinking that if she stays over, that she will be banging all night long.

What you will need to do in this time is look at her and say,”I completely get it. That’s what a real man does.

A true man will lead. She’ll respond and say,”Absolutely!” You have gotten her right in the moment she’s hottest for you and is feeling you the most.

So bear in mind that you can not control people’s reactions. You can, however, lead them down a path.

I would like you to remember the very first sentence of the blog the next time you feel you are not getting what you need in a circumstance. If you remain true to yourself, you will not just get what you want, but you’ll get it back tenfold.

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Don’t you think you’ll see a link on one of these? –I believe a good deal of individuals are really unrealistic. This is particularly true when it comes to dating. There are 52 weeks and 365 days in a year. Think if you went out and met people each and every day with the objective of getting one date weekly. I’m not just referring to a date with anyone you may find, but with somebody with whom you share a real chemistry link.That is 52 quality dates annually. You don’t feel that from those 52 dates that you are likely to find at least one person with whom you connect and with whom you’ll form a connection?It’s funny how many times people say to me,”David, I’d love to go on two to three dates weekly.” Why?It is all about going out each and every day and meeting people. You can do it for ten or twenty minutes daily or a half hour daily based upon your schedule. It does not really matter.By doing that, do not you feel you can meet 1 person a week with whom you share a excellent connection? Don’t you think you may realize that great and incredible individual with whom you like to hang.Don’t you think you would find people along the way that would be great sexual partners? Don’t you think you would find those who will teach you things and people with whom you can talk about things? Do not you think you might find people that you need to endure for a week, a month or perhaps forever?So, actually, keep your goals realistic. Go out there and try to find that one great date each week. You don’t have to worry about how many dates you are getting. Try this for a week!Click here to hear a few of my keys to how I understood exactly how to entice the girls with whom I shared amazing connections — and ways to get better dates and how to fulfill sexier women in the places you go.This article was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author. ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.–

Don’t you think you’ll see a connection on one of them?

The article Time To Be A Realistic Dater appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Do You Respect Your Partner?


Have you ever been driving when that adorable little gas guage light comes on, and you examine the computer that says”30 Miles To Empty?” I wonder how it knows that, because I drive until the car says”Refill Gas Today!”

So it is kind of like the car is lying, kind of like how a person is lying when they say”Give me a second.” I believe the identical person invented the term”give me a second” and the”Refill Fuel Now” message.

You can tell it is Saturday since those are about the only thoughts in my mind. Good thing I have a site written, otherwise the”refill gas today!” Message could have been the subject of the blog.

So onto a less “gassy” topic…

You might not respect your partner? Think about all of the people in your life. Consider your best friends. You honor your friends, otherwise you would not be friends together.

Do you really admire the person you’re dating though? Do you really respect their wishes and the things they want to do? Do you make sure that there is sufficient balance between the things you like to do and what they want to do?

Say among you’re a late night person and the other is an early morning person. Can you compromise about this? Do you respect each other’s needs and desires? It’s actually important that you do. A great deal of people tend to tune out or dismiss their partner’s wishes.

Say your spouse wants to go out for supper to a Chinese restaurant. You had Chinese food for lunch, but you know how much your spouse is craving it. You just kind of do not answer them. You enter silent mode and hope they do not ask you again.

Here is how you should manage it. Do not ignore them. When you ignore a person, they will immediately begin to believe that the answer is no and {} not on the same page together. You don’t need to do this.

It is only human nature that if somebody asks us to do something we are not actually in the mood to do, we’ll often go on mute mode (and will just ignore the request). Pretty soon what happens when you do so, however, is that your partner will begin to think you are not interested in doing this thing together (when perhaps you just are not interested in doing it that night).

So if your spouse wants to go to a Jazz club one night and you are not in the mood that day to do so, answer them by saying something like”No, I am not in the mood to go listen to jazz tonight and get drunk. Let us do it tomorrow.”

Therefore, don’t dismiss somebody when they have a desire. Do not dismiss somebody when they need something. Just let them know you are not in the mood for it that night, otherwise you’re likely to cause your spouse to form all kinds of incorrect opinions about you.

This post was formerly published on Davidwygant.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project?

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Intrigue Her The Moment You Walk In A Room


Would you like to be that man who walks into a room and girls are immediately mesmerized by him? How does that occur? Well, it’s really quite straightforward!

First thing to do if you walk into a room would be to slow down. They somehow feel they should get there really fast.

What I always tell men to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever door there is, and when there is not a door then you make a door around you.

You scan the room — look left, centre, right, right, centre, left — so you are taking a look at the whole room. People are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who’s walking in the area.

Not only do you do this, but if you walk in you {} sure to have really good posture. Ensure that your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Be certain you’re standing up tall and straight.

Body language is quite important. So much of life is based on first impressions.

So as soon as you walk into a room and you control power (controlling power is standing upright and walking ), then you need to walk through that area gradually. You literally must strut through that area.

Walk through that area at a really slow tempo, smile at a girl that you see — make that first contact. Give her a look straight in her eyes, smile, and ask her”How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.

It is possible to walk away right after you do so, as it’s all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very closely — with certainty and with great body language — then she is likely to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.

Next, go straight to your buddies (or whomever else you’re meeting) and have good body language when you speak to them. You smiled at the girl and she smiled back at you, and you finally have acknowledgment from all the men and women that are around you.

When you go to speak to a buddy, you be certain you greet your buddy in the same powerful way.

So not only is body language significant, but the speed of your walk is just as important. When you walk into a room slowly, you are a commanding presence that individuals will notice. When you walk into a room fast, you are hustling in that room so quickly that you are basically only a blur.

You’ve got to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you have got to find the walk right too.

Another important point to remember is the perfect body language when you are speaking to a woman. When you’re talking to a lady, you will need to look straight at her. Your body has to frame her body. This means that if you are standing there in front of her, then you need to confront her directly so you are mirroring each other.

It’s all in how you look at someone. Once more, a strong, strong man looks into someone’s eyes and shows them that the guy is in that circumstance.

When you have any questions regarding body language, it is wise to visit YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.

I know when I am speaking to a room of people, I am talking to left, centre, right. I am looking into people’s eyes to make them feel like I am connecting with them, and that’s exactly what people are searching for every time.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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Hey Everyone,

It is Q&A day on the site now and we’ve got two more great subscriber queries which I will answer here. Bear in mind, if you’re on my subscriber list and need to submit a question for me to reply in future sites, simply respond to any one of the newsletter emails with your query.

If you are not on my newsletter subscriber list and want to be, all you will need to do is go into the blue box in the top right hand corner of every page of this site and submit your name and email. It’s that easy! Then once you get your first newsletter through email, you can submit your query!

So, without further ado, here are today’s questions!

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David,

I have a rather distinctive question that I think you would have a valuable response about. There’s an obvious attraction between my former/future professor and I. It was a enormous uncomfortable measure, but I really worked up the balls to ask her out a couple of months before, and we ended up moving out two more later.

Even though there’s an attraction between us, I find myself holding back due to the age difference (I am 23, she’s 30) and the excellence she’s in school. It’s very tricky for me to perform a complete role reversal when I see her out of school and be the one in control and foremost, though I’m CERTAIN that is exactly what she wants. Would you suggest some possible ways I can get over the era and excellence problems and just be as I’d around any other girls?

Your advice is much appreciated. Thank You, R.

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**My Response To Reader 1’s Query **
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Thanks for your query R!

Listen, you have this age gap between the two of you. The way you feel about the age gap is all in your head. If she’s attracted to you and you’re attracted to one another, then what does the entire superiority thing matter? If she is okay with the age thing, then it really does not make a difference. The thing is, though, that you’re giving her all of the power. You are giving her the excellence. If this lady is interested in you then she is interested in you.

So go take her out and have fun just like you would with any other girl. Do not bring up the age gap. Do not bring up the excellence issue.

Just take her out and have fun just like you would on any other date, and let her get to know you in that circumstance. She is able to make up her own mind. If you go out with her feeling like she is exceptional or any supreme being from another world, then of course it is going to be uncomfortable and won’t work.

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**Reader Question two **
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Hi David,

Over the weekend I attended a wedding to my aunt where I was the ideal lady. I suddenly developed feelings for the best guy on a Saturday morning in the church services. David, you know I love him so much I would spend sleepless nights thinkming about him. But he does not know I love him. All I know is that he has been avoiding me, we had never stayed together in precisely the exact same location, he would leave if the person we’re with leaves.

1 thing I know is that I can not tell him I love him. I’ve just recieved an sms from him telling me that he was tired thou he had an shuttle. He said I looked so amazing.

My question to you is,”How do I make him tell me he loves me?”

Isabella

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**My Response To Reader 2’s Issue **
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Isabella,

How can you make someone tell you that he loves you? You have got to be kidding me. This is one of the most unhealthy emails I have ever received. I’m sorry I need to say that, but anybody who has this sort of mindset needs deeper assistance. I am not talking about only from a relationship coach, but perhaps concerning some sort of therapy.

You do not make someone love you. You don’t search for ways of making somebody tell you that they love you. First, a guy should ask you out on a date. Second, you will need to have chemistry and get to know each other. To attempt and get someone to create a man love you’re just wrong. It is wrong from every angle.

This is like some dream in your head. Where’s your reality? You do not even know this individual, but you say you love him? You do not know what he’s all about. He had been avoiding you. You’ve never stayed together in precisely the exact same location. So how can you love this person? It is a dream in your mind.

Isabella, you have got to begin living in reality. What do you want from life? Do you want real connections with guys, or are you just living what I call the ultimate dream? You hardly meet someone and you’ve got this beautiful and perfect picture of him on your mind that does not really exist.

Don’t ever attempt to make a guy tell you that he loves you. This totally reminds me of Glenn Close the bunny boiler in Fatal Attraction.

◊♦◊

Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.

All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.

A whole list of advantages is here.

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

6 Subtle Signs Your Relationship is Over, Even if You Still Care for Them


Posted by Theo Harrison

Sometimes, love just isn’t enough.

I know it sounds unfair, but so is life. We have all grown up on the concept of ‘happily ever after’. But the more we face reality, the more we realize there is no such thing when it comes to relationships.

You can love someone as much as you want, but there is no guarantee that you will be spending the rest of your life with him or her. Love is a crucial ingredient for a lasting and meaningful relationship. However, we tend to forget that it’s not the only ingredient. And that is perhaps our biggest mistake.

Is Love Blind? Or Do We Just Keep Our Eyes Closed?

Love can blind us so much that we often fail to see the splinters and hairline cracks that crop up slowly…those subtle signs your relationship is over. This is why love can be dangerous. We often choose to ignore the initial signs that not everything is perfect and convince ourselves that it’s all going to be okay.

We just need to try a little bit harder. We just need to love them a little bit more. We just need to compromise a bit more than yesterday. We just need to hide what’s bothering us for a few more days. We just need to ignore the pain a little bit more. Everything will work out just fine. You’ll see. They always do. Or do they?

No. We Don’t Want Our Hearts Broken

We never want to end a relationship where we have willingly invested our emotions and ourselves. That is perhaps the most unsettling part…a reluctance to letting go. So we ignore the signs the best we can. And then comes the red flags, the glaring warning signs where we feel heartbroken at the realization that we failed to make the relationship work. Now it’s all over. And we are all alone..again.

But if you can spot the subtle signs your relationship is over, may be, just may be, you can give your relationship a reboot. These signs will help you analyze what might go wrong down the line by taking a deep look at yourself and taking charge. Understand that it is not about finding faults in your partner or pointing fingers. It is about pulling your socks up and re-positioning yourself to make sure your relationship has a better chance at survival.

So without further ado, here are some subtle signs that your relationship is headed for splitsville.

1. You Don’t Talk Anymore

And by talking, I mean about deep conversations about life, about your beliefs, philosophies and your feelings. You don’t have meaningful long talks about how you feel about each other. Realize that the way you communicate can affect your relationship. Ask yourself, do you guys talk about the basics of life? How the day went. What happened at work. How your boss is an A-hole. How you are planning a couple’s vacation this winter. How excited you are to watch that movie you guys are excited about. Simple daily conversations about each other, friends and family, co-workers. But most of all, conversations about your feelings.

Communication is the very core of a good relationship, including the one with your own self.

Meaningful and deep conversations allow us to know the person our partner has grown, matured and evolved into.

Otherwise you are just stuck with the person they used to be. Enough with Netflix and chill. Now it’s time to start talking about what actually matters.

2. You Don’t Touch Them Like You Used To

No, I am not talking about sex. We often express our love and affection through subtle physical gestures like holding their hand, putting your hand on the small of their back, stroking their hair, hugging them, a simple kiss on the cheeks, caressing their legs, and holding their face softly while you kiss and pulling them closer. These small things can often mean deeper things in a relationship. Every touch you make creates a connection and transfers energy to your partner.

It is normal to not have the same passion of being physically close all the time like you used to when your relationship began. As we get more comfortable with each other, life starts to happen. That’s fine. But if you now feel differently when you touch your partner, then it’s one of the signs your relationship is over.

A loving touch can heal a lot of wounds and nurture a relationship by making us feel loved, safe and warm inside.

You can’t play a guitar without caressing the strings fondly. Can you?

3. You Feel Indifferent

Does your relationship still feel engaging? Have all disagreements completely disappeared? Does your partner’s behavior and actions matter at all? Co-existing without being engaged can be a relationship killer.

When both partners are agreeable & indifferent instead of passionately arguing about things they feel strongly about in the relationship, it’s one of the signs your relationship is over.

Fighting all the time is definitely not a sign of a happy relationship. However, simple arguments helps to develop a deeper bonding among couples. When you are not engaged or present in the relationship, it’s a clear sign that not all is well in your partnership. This is where communication comes in.

A real open honest conversation about how you both feel about this relationship at this current moment. Ask them how they are, what is bothering them, if they want to share something. Instead of jumping to conclusions, have a heart-to-heart discussion showing that you care. Listen to them and understand what they are going through.Things can change faster than you realize. Start talking.

4. You Don’t Look Deep Into Their Eyes Now

Do you still look in to their eyes with love? Do you still experience butterflies in your stomach when your eyes meet? Do you feel that connection when you make eye contact even today? If not, something is wrong my friend. If you avoid eye contact, then either one or both of you are avoiding something. Your partner may not be having an affair, but they are definitely hiding something from you. It can be anger. Frustration. Dissatisfaction. Or simply their feelings for you. No matter what it may be, if you avoid one of the main subtle signs your relationship is over, it may be too late to salvage it. Eventually you will stop looking at each other.

Eye contact is one of the most natural ways to build a connection and look into someone for who they are. It’s a doorway to understanding their true self.

You can connect to your partner’s soul if you truly look into their eyes with all the love in your heart.

When you make that connection, you will know what I mean.

5. You Start Feeling Heavy

Relationships are never easy. There are days you feel like you are the happiest person alive. And then there are days you wonder why you are even alive.

One day loving someone can feel effortless, while the very next day it can feel overwhelming.

That’s normal. But when you start feeling the heaviness coming from inside, you know it’s sign that needs your attention.

There are various factors like work pressure, bills, family and situations that can make us feel heavy. Life can be like that sometimes. But if your heaviness stems from feelings of anxiety, anger, discomfort, resentment, doubt and uncertainty, then you need to look into it. These feelings will keep getting heavier unless you address them.

6. You Feel Lonely, Even Around Them

If you feel alone, unloved and unsupported even when you are with partner, it can be the loneliest feeling ever.

Do you feel you cannot openly communicate with your partner? Are you suppressing a lot of emotions and thoughts about your relationship inside you? Then you must understand its one the signs your relationship is over. If your partner is not as concerned about your well-being as you are about them, it is simply going to make things worse down the line. A relationship is not about one partner giving their all while the other just ignores everything. It’s a mutually nurturing and loving bond that you share with your partner.

When you stop looking away from the truth and living in denial, you will realize your instinct is giving you signs about how you truly feel. The sooner you listen to your emotions, the earlier you will be able to face the truth and start working on it. When you are not as happy in your relationship as you pretend to be, it’s time to take notice.

Understand This.

These are only subtle signs of your reality. These are not red flags that you will get a panic attack about losing the love of your life. There’s still a good chance of making things work. Start by asking yourself what you have done that has led your relationship to this place. Before blaming your partner, identify your own mistakes. That’s rule number one.

Then start by fixing your faults and do what you can to re-develop the attraction in your relationship. When you take charge, you will instantly see a momentous shift in your relationship dynamic. Make sure you talk to your partner about what you feel they are doing to affect the relationship in such a way. Approach them with love, understanding and compassion. If they are unwilling, take it as another sign.

Remember to approach them with an open mindset. Your goal is to understand them, not to make them understand. Do not hold on to limiting beliefs. And let go of your expectations. And finally, when they want to leave, let them. That’s how love works. Plain and simple.

Do you feel you are losing yourself in your relationship?


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A version of this post was previously published on Themindsjournal.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood

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Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here