Superman or Clark Kent?

My dating trip began in earnest in 1982, I was 16, a junior in high school and I fell in love with a sincere, thoughtful and loving Clark Kent-type. Initially, I had been infatuated with the tall, handsome and athletic new man, he seemed like Superman. I quickly discovered that he was shy, introverted, artistic and intelligent. I recall feeling relaxed, happy and appealing in his or her company. We spent every waking moment we could together, sharing and encouraging each other’s interests, families and friends. After 3 decades, while attending college several states away from one another, we tearfully broke up. We could not handle the distance.

At the moment, I was 19, a sophomore in college and I went in search of a new boyfriend. Again and again, I fell in lust and became obsessed with men who looked like my initial boyfriend-tall, athletic, confident, leaders. But they lacked the yummy interior qualities which turn infatuation into love. I had no idea that I should be focusing on interior values and qualities as opposed to the muscles, height and swagger.

For many years I dated and broke up with Superman upon Superman, I even married one. My ex-husband and lots of these men I dated are smart, funny and honorable great men.

Their cocky, fast-talking manners presented a challenge to me. I responded with my type A personality and my subliminal message to them was”you feel you are all that, well you have met your match”.

Looking back, I sparred more than that I loved. I used my quick wit and sexuality as my money and convinced Superman and myself that I was separate and that I did not need anything.

When you tell somebody you do not need anything, you get nothing! 

I’ve discovered that asking for what you need in a relationship is love.

You know the man, he’s shy, quiet (yeah sometimes he wears glasses), he might appear a bit awkward at first, seem a bit closer… Give him a chance, he’s superpowers too.

Want more tips and advice? Galia will help you get Date-Ready! Reserve your FREE call now!

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Escaping Traditional Masculinity Might Be the Bravest Thing a Man Can Do

Cry-baby. Both of these heart-wrenching words that men are advised as small boys, and as they grow up to be well — men, their self, and real emotions become suppressed.

I talk in fact, as a thirty-something-year-old girl that there’s nothing sexier than a guy living in his raw, emotionally naked self. It’s what builds for trust and connection in a profound, long-lasting, and romantic relationship. I don’t like to guess what you’re thinking, feeling, or what it is that you truly want. As your partner, I’m there to listen. 

Please bare it all! I wish to know what I’m up against, what I could take, not take, and what I am prepared to put up with (I dare you to try me!) .

By all means, I don’t expect you to suppress being the guy you were born as; the person who might automatically feed into his animalistic character when he sees something, or somebody his insides crave.  However, I do ask that you not dread to take out the mask. I ask that you don’t reside in shame if that Ed Sheeran song you hear on the radio while driving to work makes you only a tad bit choked up, or, worse, forces you to begin considering your own life, and possibly even marriage.

It’s okay, and it’s safe to feel your feelings. Feelings are precisely that — they are supposed to be felt. I promise not to judge!

It’s okay to be imperfect. The majority of the time our most important fuck-ups lead to burnout, even if you must ride out the shit storm to get there. It is the way you rise back up again, and that ultimately is the one thing that really matters. Learn how to love your scars, and I’ll love them. I get that you’re not unbreakable.

Failing at work, at a target, in a dream, or a connection doesn’t make you a failure as a man. I adore you for failing, since it means you attempted. It means you cared for something to go after it. And it means that you’re courageous enough to fucking do it!

Since there’s nothing more beautiful, and sexy than permitting us to adore you, even if you’re broken. There’s nothing more magical than to see, and be seen for who you really are. And, perhaps, you may just come to discover that the little boy inside is braver than the guy who shows his face to the world each and every day.

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