Here are the four horsemen of the fighting union, according to a buddy’s couple’s counselling practice.“She does not seem interested in me anymore.” “She’s overly anxious about/focused on the children.” “There is not any fun, we’re always racing and it always feels like a catastrophe.” “She’s let herself go.” So, without paraphrasing or moving after my friend’s article, I will tackle these ideas with my experience to guide me. This is my truth and my story and may not be applicable to you or your own experience.“She does not seem interested in me anymore.” She is not interested in sex. She is not interested in my job stories or my weekend hobbies. She seems too focused on the children and her crisis of the moment.Here are a few ideas for why this could be.You aren’t being that interesting. You aren’t firing up her emotionally or sexually. You will need to get your own shit together, she’ll respond to that. You need to be clear with your orders. Unspoken agreements will find all people in trouble. For those who have a complaint talk. If your woman isn’t interested in you be aware: This is a crisis you want to attend to. Both of you it collectively about what you need, want, and need on your connection. If both of you are off sulking and building bitterness about this subject, get over yourself and tell your spouse. If they’re unwilling or not able to satisfy your connection requirements, you get a different choice to make.“She’s overly anxious about/focused on the children.” Okay, so your spouse is distracted, busy, and appears to be on the point of crisis all the time. Let us take this in two parts.Kids actions are a priority in my life, and I do not have the time to get it all done there’s a kid-issue and I am overwhelmed I do not have time for our connection, can’t you see how busy I am? Your DistressShe is always distant and distracted She is always tired She yells and gets angry at the drop of a hat We are always so focused on her crisis and the child’s needs, what about my needs, and the connection needs A Few IdeasCan you take a few of the tasks off her plate? Can you accept that she is not happy, and there is not much you can do about it, but stand-in and be supportive You Can’t rescue another person from their own distress, but you can be reassuring and make efforts to lighten their entire load, especially if it’s kid-stuff“There is not any fun, we’re always racing and it always feels like a catastrophe.” Ah, most of us know how hard”crisis mode” is for everybody. The kids are worried. Your spouse is stressed. Okay so what are the resources you can use to tackle the custom of”crisis mode” management?Some Thoughts About Crisis-ModeIs the tragedy psychological? Is the tragedy about scheduling? Is the emergency about load-balancing from the connection? Some Ideas About Interesting Commit to it and take action. Both partners must be accountable for injecting fun into the experience of life. Take actions to put fun back into your life. “She’s let herself go.” The first question to my guys readers,“Have you let yourself go?”The next question to my guys readers,“How healthy is fit and how realistic are your expectations?”The next question to my guys readers,“Can you do matters to engage her in enjoyable exercise and perform which includes exercise?”The fourth question to my guys readers,“Would you love her anyway?” Are you seeking an perfect partner instead of the partner you’re with?And the truth: sometimes people let themselves go for various reasons. Is your girl getting enough affection and support? Are they depressed or coping with a physical illness? Can you love your spouse at every level of fitness?In my marriage, I loved my wife in all her fitness levels. I truly grooved into her body when she was pregnant with both of our kids. I understand this is all about me and not her, but I enjoyed her with a bit more love to hold onto. Again, that is about me. I loved her in every form she arrived in. I had been able to love her no matter her exact physical form. She, in turn, did love me through some stressful times of my own.Can you love your spouse in her present form? Is this”fitness” you seek and want a realistic possibility or are you looking for someone somewhat more like Emily Blunt? Much like some”kind” you have become enamored with?Are you whining about things which may be addressed and changed? Are you making unrealistic demands? Are you {} a reason to bolt and find some new girl, some new excitement? It’s each of our unique responsibilities to deal with our complaints, our needs, and our non-negotiables. If you can get clear on what is behind those mundane complaints you can either tackle them at the connection or adjust the relationship.Create a change or learn to be pleased with everything you have. Change is the only real choice of action. Be IN or OUT of your connection, but do not nag and whine and then not take responsibility on your life and your own involvement in the relationship.In the long run, I believe my approach is more like a trainer. What is happening? What is your obligation to change or request? What is your action plan? Let us get on with it. My friend is significantly more concerned with what is behind the issues and how a change of heart or emotional breakthrough might tackle the issues. Let us get on with our own lives of appreciation and love.Always Love,John McElhenney — life trainer austin texas  @wholeparent

men's complaints in marriageCreate a change or learn to be pleased with everything you have. Change is the only real choice of action. Be IN or OUT of your connection, but do not nag and whine and then not take responsibility on your life and your own involvement in the relationship.

The article Top 4 Complaints from Married Men and How to Address Them appeared on The Great Men Project.

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