I had been watching a Dan Peña movie on YouTube another day. Between all the intense Alpha 1.0 crying and swearing he said something that I’ve heard before but had forgotten about. He said,”You’re 2000 cold calls off from being wealthy.”   I had been taught much the exact same thing when I was in sales training in my twenties once I was building my first company.   The concept works like this: You make X amount of cold calls and track how many sales you get and so how much money you earn. Then you return through the numbers and work out how many cold calls you will need to make to be able to generate Y quantity of money.  As soon as you figure this out it is extremely motivational. It changes your whole view of sales generally and making and cold calls in particular. If you understand, based on a great deal of stats you have been keeping on your performance, which you are going to generate a $5,000 commission (or whatever) as soon as you create 27 cold calls (or whatever), then all of a sudden you realize now you can make all of the money you want.  You simply have to create 27 calls and you will receive your $5,000, at least mathematically. Even if 26 of these calls lead to people telling you to fuck off and hanging up the phone on your ear, it does not matter, you will still receive your $5,000. (For you nitpickers and math nerds, I am speaking statistically here. I am not saying telephone call #27 will literally cover $5,000. You know what I am trying to illustrate.)  That is what Dan Peña was saying. You may argue with the specific numbers if you would like, and that is fine, but the idea is sound.   This leads me to the most important number you need to track on your online dating attempts. Needless to say, there are numerous numbers you need to track, and I go through all {} in The Ultimate Online Dating Manual. I moved from sexless divorced beta man dad ten years from relationship practice to a guru-level internet dating pro in less than two decades, and I did it mostly by monitoring my numbers and focusing on improving them.  The most significant number, for online dating at least, that you will need to monitor is this: the amount of times you have sex with a new girl per spoonful made or openers sent (depending on if you’re using dating websites or relationship swipe programs ).   You carefully monitor your numbers throughout the whole time.   You return through the numbers, do a little basic spreadsheet math, determine that you made 1100 swipes so as to nail down those five first dates. Do not take them literally.)   This means your “swipes per place” typical is 550, or 1100 swipes divided by the twice you had sex with new girls.  If you wish to nitpick the mathematics (and, Jesus, I know some of you will), maybe you could argue that the actual number isn’t 550, but somewhere between 550 and 1100. Perhaps. For simplicity’s sake, I am going with 550.   That is exciting! Why? Since the next time you go online to locate a new girl, all you’ve got to do is perform 550 swipes, and statistically speaking, you will have sex. It signifies that all of the flakes and non-responders now do not fucking matter whatsoever . All you will need to worry about is doing those 550 swipes no matter the outcome. Probably, the next time you do another swipe blitz, your online game will probably be a bit better, having learned from the experience of the first blitz.  Attitudinally, it really helps to know that amount. You do not care who doesn’t need to meet up with you; all you care about is getting out your 550 swipes.  This, really helped me back in the days when I was hitting online dating hard. I knew my magical number of openers I had to ship that would lead to having sex with one new girl. Not answers, not dates, but gender.   Sure, I tracked those additional amounts as well. They’re helpful also. But they are not as important as the major one, the magical number!  You could argue that you can not make this decision based on a single blitz alone, especially if it’s your very first one. You might have gotten lucky. It happens. I have had amazing blitzes where I have laid left and right with only a couple openers and on the very next blitz I’d shitty results (although not zero; I have literally never had a blitz where I did not have sex with someone new unless I was testing something fresh and odd ).  This means {} need multiple blitzes to actually nail down that amount. Butagain, that amount should decrease over time as you get better at all this. If it remains the same forever, you are not doing this right. You are not modifying your strategy, testing new methods, testing pictures for your own profile, etc. You are not doing all of the things I did for a long time.   The very fact that you have that amount on your pocket will make it more probable you will test these items. For those who don’t have any clue what your numbers are (and most men do not ), then you are just pissing in the wind. You’ve just a vague (and probably inaccurate) idea of what type of effort you want to expend to be able to bring a new girl in your sex life.  There are other numbers that I monitor in my dating life that have nothing to do with online dating like the amount of first dates I want to really get to sex, the amount of women I have sex with that wind up in longterm relationships with me, how long they last before the first LSFNTE, etc. So, this notion extends out to real life dating and relationship management also.  Figure out that amount. Then do it. Then improve it.  Your online dating will be so much easier when you’re doing.  

As soon as you decide your Magic Number, it is extremely motivational. It changes your whole view of dating.

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A couple months ago I created a poll here at this site asking about which dating websites worked the best for specific cities. Today I will share the results.  I asked for the specific titles of relationship sites or apps that you guys used to really meet at least three girls in real life, in addition to the city where you did this. Hundreds of you responded (thank you) and answers still trickle in, but here are the majority of the results.  Best Sites/Apps First, I will cover the relationship sites/apps which are most effective for many men, irrelevant of place. Here is the final breakdown of this top five most powerful ones as reported by the respondents, in sequence, with my comments: First Place — Tinder — 27 percent  27% of men reported Tinder among the apps they have successfully utilised to fulfill real girls in real life. 27% is, definitely, the winner. In addition to that, the huge majority of the respondents that selected Tinder among the successful programs they were using picked Tinder first, before any other website or program.  Interesting! For all the bitching and whining men throw around about Tinder nowadays, for all the complaints about attention whores, flakes, and so forth, Tinder is very clearly the number one relationship program that guys are using to successfully date online.  I will be honest; I was amazed. I was not surprised that it was among the greatest sites/apps, but I was amazed that it wasn’t only number one, but number one by such a huge margin. The second–de lace program is just 15 percent of respondents and Tinder is nearly double that. I will re-iterate what I have said about Tinder before. Tinder is terrific for men dating in their age range, meaning approximately plus or minus ten years in their own age. It clearly still functions. However, Tinder isn’t great for much older men dating much younger women. I’ve had pretty much zero success with it under these circumstances and several of you older men have reported the same.  So, if you are dating girls in your age range, obviously you will need to be using Tinder. If you are an older bastard like me going after much younger girls, you are going to need to use other choices. Which brings us to… Second Place — Bumble — 15 percent  Second place, though a distant second, is Bumble. Now this was not surprising to me whatsoever. Bumble is really fantastic, and I believe it the entire”least-bad” relationship site/app at this time concerning the broadest level of both accessibility and effectiveness for the majority of men. It is not perfect, but it works, and it tends not to have the age issue Tinder has.  How crazy is it perhaps the best relationship site/app right now is the one we poo-pooed several years back (myself included) when we discovered that there was this mad new program that”put women in charge.” I’d have never expected it to do so well, but here we are.   For the time being, Bumble is obviously a fantastic option. Use it.  Third Place — OkCupid — 13 percent  Another surprise. About two years ago OkCupid pretty much murdered its entire search algorithms and function, which was once the best relationship site/app in the world something that hardly worked in several cities.  Yet, the information is clear; it is the third most efficient dating/site app at this time despite its numerous issues. Very interesting.  Fourth Place — Lots of Fish — 8 percent  POF is still hanging in there, amazingly. I ceased using POF many years back , but I understood it still worked. Looks like a good number of you are still getting dates through POF that is pretty good.  Hinge being at fifth position isn’t a surprise at all for me. I figured Hinge are the upcoming up-and-coming dating site/app. I’m actually surprised it is not doing better than fifth place, but maybe it’ll grow over time.  I am impressed with Coffee Meets Bagel being at 6 percent also. My guess is that CMB will shortly replace Match.com completely. I am honestly shocked that Match.com is revealing this nicely, but it is still the go-to spot for over-33 divorced women searching for husband number two.  Here’s a few more rankings, if you’re interested:  Everything else on my first list got actually zero answers .  Custom Write-In Sites/Apps In the poll I provided a space where men could write in any site/app they used to successfully fulfill at least three girls in actual lifetime I hadn’t listed. The results were intriguing.  Number 1 on this list is FetLife. This is the dating website for you kinky BDSM bastards. Wonderful. I’ve not used this site myself but a good deal of you have emailed me about this over the years. An advantage of this website is that girls on FetLife probably have much less ASD than ordinary girls, making getting to sex extremely fast on Fetlife something a lot simpler than on normal dating/sites apps. I exceptionally recommend you guys check out this unless you like your sex vanilla.   The powerful second place winner on this list was WeChat. WeChat? Really? Huh.   For those who don’t understand, WeChat is the Chinese variant of WhatsApp. It is basically a messaging program. Apparently an adequate amount of you guys are fulfilling Chinese women (and other Asian girls ) via an app which I thought was mostly only a messaging program but can also double as a social networking platform and dating program.    Another huge program lots of you reported success with is Jswipe, which I did not even know about, but I am not surprised it works, as it is for dating Jewish women that are possibly the most sex-positive of any race/religion I’ve ever encounter.  A couple of you older men reported that TheInnerCircle.co works really well, that’s a dating site for higher-income folks. I have a sense that some men are using this to run pseudo-sugar daddy match , but whatever you guys do, it is working.  Lastly, a massive number of you reported getting dates with normal social media, largely Instagram and Facebook. I have also heard a great deal of girls meetting men under a relationship context using social networking sites in the past year or so. As I’ve said earlier, I have predicted that social media game will begin getting a lot more popular, and the information appears to reflect this. I will keep a closer eye on this as time continues. It works (I have done it several times), but it requires a bit more time and rapport-building than ordinary online relationship.  Individual Cities In terms of what sites work best in individual cities, that is a little too complex to go over here, so instead I have set up a table in the Alpha 2.0 Forums where you can review the outcomes from reports from around 300 unique men all over the world. I do not list each and every app in each and every city, only the top three per town. I may add more data later.    Apparently, and you never know for certain about this stuff, Facebook is introducing a relationship program into its stage later this year. Maybe they will, maybe they will not. It might be a game-changer, or it can fizzle into nothing, but I will be keeping a close watch on it and report what I find.  

A couple of weeks ago I created a questionnaire here in this site asking about which dating websites worked the best for specific cities. Now I’ll share the results.

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