Is it common for a widower to feel as though he could never or ever will have the ability to touch, kiss or make love to another girl like he did to his passed love?
You requested Coach Allana Pratt: My wife of nearly 14 years as of September 23, 2014 had passed away. Is it common for a widower to feel like he could not or ever will have the ability to touch, kiss or make love to another girl like he did to his passed love? Because that is we are I am at with it all. I can not see myself doing what I did with my spouse to any other girl. It is like I must be a completely new guy and learn from the start again and I do not need to change who I am.
My sweet lovely amazing friend. Your love ran deep. You lived your totality with her, yes? How could you? This was something unique and special that only the two of you shared. Who she was brought out a particular part of you that just she did…and that is beautiful amazing and complete.
Now you’re in the void… the middle floor, the recovery… the learning that you are without her. I can not imagine how hard this must be. Yet to make it through this, I know you’re getting stronger, more thankful, more current perhaps to savor moments in life, more interested in what is next to energy in as and through you, what your heritage is all about, what your calling actually is now, yes?
And thus who you are getting is, wider, deeper, richer, stronger, softer… different, yes? And thus that you’ll be with who you meet, when that is divinely inspired to happen, you’ll differ with her… you have grown, evolved, changed… and thus encounters with this new spouse won’t be the same, they’ll be new. It is not that you need to learn to be a completely new man from the beginning again… though I get you will feel like this… however you’re making a new world, obtaining a new part of you… yet it’ll be added into the magnificent man you are… you can not change who you are if you tried! You’re discovering even more about who you are… and in time, you may share that with another girl… for now start to let this enlarged evolved you present the world in friendships, in chance encounters…
And in case you haven’t yet, work with a coach like myself that will help you navigate this transition from the most tender, affectionate, heartfelt and powerful way possible, for the greatest evolution in no hurry at all, in heavenly moment. Navigating death is not a linear street, nor an easy one, and in my experience it is also among the most amazing gifts when somebody is able to help you navigate the richness and conscious growth potential. It would be a humble privilege to encourage you on this portion of your beautiful journey. If interested, speak to my supervisor at [email protected] and state who you are and let us join for a strategy session to find out if we are a match for this gorgeous work. You can achieve this.
Tremendous love and blessings, tenderness and care,
A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.
All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.
Photo credit: istockphoto