100 Practices for Great Relationships

What are you practicing for a terrific relationship? 

Once we conducted our analysis,”Keys of Good Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love,” these are the practices that economists informed us had held them in good stead as they climbed their relationships.

As you browse through the list, assess your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses, and congratulate yourself for the areas where you shine. The list may also help you identify where work might nevertheless be expected from you and your spouse.

1. Cultivating vision by asking yourself,”What is available? What is possible here?”


3. Showing up for what is happening.

4. Accepting/letting go/surrendering to what’s.


6. Flexibility: Having the ability to change stations.

7. Having the ability to distinguish truth from creativity.

8. Letting go of guilt and visiting its origin.

9. Allowing yourself to get help and be encouraged; being a gracious receiver

10. Developing a community of support by accepting physical and psychological support and connection.

11. Practicing gratitude, particularly when you’re feeling or dizzy self-pity.


13. Being vulnerable and open.

14. Having trusting relationships with other people who can see what you can not.


16. Refusing to lie, and refusing to lie to yourself.

17. Practicing patience when you’re tired of waiting.

18. Regularly checking in with yourself and with your spouse.

19. Setting boundaries and stopping before you reach your limit.

20. Not withholding love.


22. Creating a close main connection through giving and loving abundantly.


24. Being willing to sense.

25. Letting others know how you are feeling.

26. Acknowledging vulnerability, fears, needs, and desires.

27. Dis-identifying with the ego/body.

28. Taking comfort and relaxation wherever you find it.


30. Being involved with your kids’ friends.

31. Outgrowing the need for others’ approval.

32. Not taking on others’ projections.

33. Practicing approval of the small pains and losses.

34. Utilizing all of the experiences in life to deepen spiritual training.

35. Staying current and complete with everybody on your life, all of the time.


37. Refusing to take a victim identity.

38. Accepting responsibility for everything in your life.

39. Refusing to engage in blame of others or self.

40. Staying away from poor therapists.


42. Creating a huge space for the dark shadow, to add your craziness, weakness, helplessness, vulnerability, hatred, ignorance, and prejudice.

43. Caring for your body.


45. Practicing humility.

46. Understanding how to replenish and refuel–and doing this.

47. Trusting your own body, not your mind.


49. Continuing to provide no matter what.

50. Working in the event that you can; if you can not, do not.

51. Doing whatever it takes to get you through the evening.

52. Practicing generosity of spirit.

53. Finding something to be thankful for always.

54. Accepting love from others, even in case you doubt you’re worthy or deserving.

A version of the post was previously published on The Mind’s Journal and is republished here with permission.

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