You have probably landed here because you searched something like how to get over a breakup or how to get over him. The fantastic news is you have come to the perfect location!
When you encounter a separation, there are a lot of things happening inside your body and mind. Things you are probably not even conscious of. You are engaging in activities you do not normally do like binge drinking, being sexually promiscuous or going out shopping.
This is a normal part of the procedure. It is your body trying to kickstart your happy hormone production. Tricky, right? Knowing what your body and mind are putting you through can assist you to jumpstart the recovery procedure.
You probably have days when you want to kick him in the…well, we both understand and, quite frankly, it pains me to write it. You’ve got other days when you miss him terribly and want him back, regardless of what you’ve got to do. Heck, you might even have a weak moment at which you hook up with him again, if even for only a night.
When it boils right down to it, what you will need to do is be able to get him over so you can proceed in a healthy manner! You want a few tools, six maybe, to help you process the feelings and come out on the opposite side, raring to go!
Get Over Him By Grieving But Only Briefly
The death of a connection resembles the passing of a loved one. Someone is gone out of your life and you are sad, angry, hopeful and occasionally, in denial. So as to get him over, you want to proceed through these phases without allowing this despair to consume you.
Use your determination to make it through this. Do not let this bring you down, at least not for long!
A excellent way to do that is find something to keep you occupied. Are you enthusiastic about any causes? Are there far away friends you can see? Can you redecorate your kitchen or bedroom?
Dig into a couple of these today. Use sites like Meetup to find activities near you. Become involved in your community.
What is important is to stop asking yourself, Why Did He Leave?
It is time to shoo him out of your life. Pictures, emails, texts and Facebook memories bring him back in full, living color. Getting rid of these helps you get over him! If you do not have any company with each other, block him from social networking and your mobile phone.
Feel the anger over the breakup and use that energy to boot him out of your life. Stop visiting areas you know he frequents. If it means getting a new fitness center, do it. If you will need to hang out in a different Starbucks, do it. All those places are merely ways for one to cave during a weak moment. Then you must go through this all over again.
Who has time for it?
Not you because you just got yourself busy!
You are never going to send it to him, it is for you. You will need to say what you would like to convey to him but, in the end, you will need to do something significant. Forgive him.
Yes, forgive him. Even if you don’t feel like forgiving him, your last line should read something like,”Alex, I forgive you for your angry outbursts that made me fearful.” When you have written the letter, walk away from it for a couple of days.
When you return, read it out loud, slowly. Allow the feelings to come. Feel them, do not stuff them.
When you have read the letter, safely locate a place to burn it. After it is safely burned, turn around and walk off.
Get Into The Fitness
There’s lots of tension and anger that has a breakup. Your body is undergoing a continuous does of fight or flight chemicals which, in the long run, is unhealthy.
Exercise is one of the best ways to eliminate that stress. It releases endorphins that negate these fight or flight chemicals. Even taking a ten-minute walk may go a long way toward relieving stress and it is something you can do, even as you’re on the job.
Does exercise help you relieve stress but it makes it possible to start to think about yourself. You probably concentrated some of your time and energy. Now, use it all on your own! You deserve to care for yourself and now is the day to begin!
If you can spend a complete spa day, do it. Let someone else massage you and care for you. Drink in some wonderful chamomile tea and let your worries float from the steam. Get your nails done and feel fairly.
At the conclusion of your Me Day, go out with some girlfriends or curl up with a good book and relax. You earned this afternoon. Make it what you want!
Moms especially have to do this. Now that you are single, you might feel you will need to put 200 percent of your energy and time into your children. The truth is you want to care for yourself. What good are you for them if you are completely run down? Let them find out what it means to look after yourself.
Rediscover Who You’re
I predict this recalibrating. You’re a part of a pair but now you are single. Your worth altered to accommodate his. Now you want to determine what your values are. What do you think in? What will your bounds be going to a new relationship?
These are all very important questions that only you can answer. Take a moment and really discover the answers.
This post was formerly published on Whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? Purchase here: The Great Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now.
All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A whole list of advantages is here.
Photo credit: Istockphoto.com