Beta Male Polyamory

I’m going to talk about polyamory, but before I do, I want to clarify what it means and how it’s different from an open connection. People today have a tendency to mix up these two phrases or mash them together.

Open relationship generally means that you are either pair-bonded to a woman and are permitted to have a bit on the side (OLTR in my parlance) or it means you’ve got a primary woman (such as a spouse or”main girl”) and you are permitted to date other girls provided they do not completely override your main girl (high-end MLTR in my parlance).

Polyamory is rather different. It means you are not emotionally exclusive to any 1 person in any respect. You are in sexual and intimate relationships with at least two people. This is comparable to MLTRs in my parlance, but not quite since with full size polyamory you can (and usually do) have multiple girlfriends and one or more of the girls have several boyfriends (as well as husbands).

Open relationships are great, polyamory is very good, pair-bonding is fantastic, having multiple connections is terrific. It’s all good, baby. As I’ve said countless times, anything is less bad than long-term sexual monogamy, which does not work in any way. Anything that lets you have regular sex with at least two girls is less bad than needing to only have sex with you, which isn’t only stupid, but anti-freedom and anti-masculine.

Now that we have that context, allow me to show you a little trick people use to party polyamory.

Some man will link to an article or video profiling a polyamorous threesome. The situation is always the same: the threesome introduced is comprised of an ugly Dominant and two skinny, dorky, wimpy, needy, oneitis-stricken beta men. The Dominant, sitting between her two boyfriends, will speak about how good it is to have those two slaves do anything she wants. Both betas cheerfully nod in agreement and wax on about how wonderful she is and how blessed they are to have this wonderful girlfriend.

The man linking to this shitshow will then announce,”See? Look at this! Look at both of these pussies! Look at how destitute and beta they’re for this ugly bitch! This is polyamory, people! Look good to you? See everybody? There is the evidence: POLYAMORY IS FOR BETAS! Fuck polyamory!

He many continue, giving the typical right-wing Guy-Disney information about how you will need to monogamously marry some young Christian woman in her early twenties who has not fucked too many men yet then boss her around for the rest of her life such as the large, powerful, Christian Alpha you wish you were (in spite of the fact that guys doing this endure a 76%+ divorce rate exactly like anyone else that gets traditionally married nowadays ).

The problem with this strategy is clear. Would some of my readers even think about a polyamorous relationship where you only dated one woman and she dated other guys? Thousands and thousands of guys read my articles; I doubt I could find among them who would believe this is an excellent idea and recommend it to others. Being in such a connection are the opposite of being an Alpha 2.0.

I just said above that any connection which lets you have regular sex with at least two girls is less bad than just having sex with you. These beta men in this beta male model of polyamory are just having sex with one woman. They’re blowing the whole point of non-monogamy. They are doing that because, naturally, they are betas.

Individuals who point at this beta male model of polyamory as the illustration of polyamory or all non-monogamy are liars. This sort of connection is literally the opposite of the way I live and the reverse of what I recommend.

Contrary to monogamy, non-monogamy is a large umbrella that encompasses several distinct kinds of relationships, all which I explain in my novels but only certain ones that I think are a fantastic idea for men. For Instance, I believe FB, MLTR and OLTR are Amazing. I think swinging is not that good but can work for certain men and women. I believe beta man polyamory (described above) is disgusting and destructive. All these things are non-monogamy but lots of these items are so radically different they are considered opposites. Really, my sex life is as diametrically opposite of beta man polyamory as you can get and has been for nearly 14 years now.

Can I against beta man polyamory? For me and you, yes. But maybe not for betas. As I’ve mentioned many times, beta men are fucked no matter what they do. I know, because I was one. Monogamy/polyamory/open relationships/dating/single/alone; ALL of those situations will suck for you if you are a beta. It is a part of being a beta. That is why you betas should put in a couple of years and update yourselves to Alpha 2.0 so that you can begin living the great life and really be long-term happy. I have done a long time ago and it was actually the best decision of my entire life.

The trouble with this variant of beta man polyamory on display is not non-monogamy, it is beta men. As Western culture continues to fall and monogamy gets less popular, more people will assume non-monogamous lifestyles, that is great. The issue is most of those men will be betas since most modern-day Western guys (around 75 percent ) are betas already. Worse, beta men are a growing demographic. With each generation beginning with the Millennials afterward Generation Z and those after that, you are likely to see less Alphas and more betas.

Less monogamy + more betas = a good deal of really fucked-up, woman-centric, non-monogamous relationships where the girls will be in charge.

For betas, yes (but they are fucked anyway). For society, it is very bad (but Western culture is also fucked anyway). But for me and you? No. The more guys getting sucked up into polyamorous relationships which include numerous men but just 1 woman, the less competition we Alpha Males have. That includes not just Alpha Man 2.0s but also my enterprising Alpha Male 1.0 brothers.

Each time I see one of those beta man polyamory people profiled, I wince in disgust but I smile and rub my hands together evilly like a James Bond villain. Let these betas get removed from the pool by below-average-looking Dominant girls while I move in on the sexy girls who have less betas to kiss their asses or take them out on overpriced dinner dates. Win.

Next time you see anyone pointing at beta man polyamory as the norm for non-monogamy recognize A) how wrong that is; B) how great it really is… for us.

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What if I told you that sexual number could mean one of two quite different things? There’s a whole lot of confusion about it. Understanding the difference between both of these things will clear up plenty of problems you’ve got on your relationships with women and in terms of your own mental clarity regarding what you need (and possibly, what you do not need ).  Very often men will lament that they’re in constant need of sexual selection. Indicators of this include behaviours such as: — Getting sexually bored with girls relatively quickly.   — a Lot of cheating.  — Regular masturbating to pornography even when the hot woman you are dating is in another room.  — Intense Thrill of the Hunt behaviors such as going out to get laid just to get laid even if you don’t have to. (I address that issue here.)  — Having difficulty getting hard or sexually aroused whilst having sex with a super sexy woman as you have already had sex with her”a lot of times” before.  These men will curse the fact that they are guys, and that this”dreadful need for sexual variety” is screwing their lives up.    The need for sexual variety is not their problem.  As I’ve been saying for more than a decade here, all men need sexual selection. It’s the way we’re designed at a heart biological level. That’s one of {} reasons why long-term sexual monogamy does not work. After NRE expires, guys despise being monogamous no matter how amazing their girlfriend or spouse is. (Women hate it as well, but women’s hatred for long term sexual monogamy manifests in very different ways and is beyond the scope of this report.)  So, if you are complaining you require sexual selection and you’ve got a penis, congratulations! Really, you would be the oddball exception to the rule if you did not need any sexual variety in any respect.  However, there’s another condition that’s often mistaken for the demand for sexual variety, and that’s the demand for sexual newness. I will define both of them and show you that they’re, in actuality, two entirely different things.  Sexual variety is the need for having multiple sexual partners over a lengthy time period. For a while you may be perfectly fine having sex with only 1 girl over and over again, but as you are a guy, eventually you are going to need to have sex with another woman (or women!) . That doesn’t mean that you wish to leave the woman you are currently with; the chances are high you wish to remain with her while having sex with one or more other girls on the side.  The word”finally” in the preceding paragraph fluctuates dependent on the guy. “Finally” may mean two decades for you or 2 months. The point is that”finally” always arrives… eventually.   It is a hard-coded characteristic in human biology, not a bug. In this essay here, which I exceptionally recommend you read because it is a powerful companion to the article you are reading, I explain that a man who sows all of his wild oats and lives out each sexual dream he’s ever had (I’m one of those men) will nevertheless not get the need for sexual variety”from his system.” All it’ll do is get his desire for the mad sexual stuff from his system, but”mad sexual stuff” isn’t”variety.” By way of instance, I have lived out every sexual fantasy I’ve ever desired or imagined of and done so many times with many girls. That means that now, I do not want to do the crazy things anymore. I really don’t want to perform a threesome with two 18 year-olds, or have sexual intercourse with a minor star, or have sex with various women in precisely the same family. Been there and done all that, so I am good. I ever have to do that crazy shit ever again. (I said I did not want to do this crazy stuff, and I do not. But if it had been publicly offered, I would not say no either.)   Nope, I am a man and a human being, so the demand for sexual variety can not be cured. So even though I am married to Pink Firefly and she is my bodily and sensual female ideal (and she is), I’ll still have a couple of FBs on the side for the rest of my life. I simply don’t have to bang a whole lot of my FBs all at exactly the exact same time whilst swinging on a chandelier someplace. It is just normal sex for me today, since that is all I need.  Sexual Newness   Sexual variety means you need numerous women over a time period.  Sexual newness means you always need new ladies.  There’s a massive difference between these two things.  I need sexual selection. I don’t require sexual newness in any respect. I could, in all seriousness, (and I have mentioned this before), be married to a woman and have one FB on the side, neither of whom left or got fat (they could get older, they could gain a little weight, but they can not get fat) and stick with having sex using only those 2 girls for the rest of my life and I would be completely sexually satisfied. In real life this won’t ever occur because A) girls leave and B) most girls are”done” having sex at around age 65 or so.  It would not be monogamy, but the two girls would never be fresh, which would be cool with me (again, if it had been possible in the actual world and it probably is not.)  If you require sexual newness, that means that you not only have to have sex with numerous women, but you will need these girls to be new all the time.   Meaning that if you begin having sex with two super hot babes, in just a couple of weeks you’ll begin getting bored with having sex with these two since they are not new anymore. If you go out and have sex with a new woman, even if she is less hot than your present two girls, you will be”happy” again since she is new.    It isn’t sexual variety that is tripping you up, it is your need for sexual newness, something I truly don’t have.  It is really important you understand that difference. Just understanding that gap should help you a lot.  If there is need for it, I will write a followup article about how to alleviate the issue of the demand for sexual newness. (Though I have already hinted at one way to assist itget out there and live your sexual fantasies!)  

What if I told you that sexual number could mean one of two quite different things? There’s a whole lot of confusion about it.

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Sexual Boredom with Long-Term Partners

Getting sexually exhausted, finally, with exactly the same person day in and day out. Girls do it. Men do it. Does this still happen when you are permitted to get funky with others whenever you want?  

One of my readers that I will call”Paul” wrote this:  

Thanks to your awesome information I now have a wonderful, permissive, smoking hot, borderline-nymphomaniac OLTR I’ve been seeing for about a year now.  Recently though, I am simply not getting as hard as I used to and reaching orgasm with her is becoming far more challenging.  Meanwhile, I’m having no trouble whatsoever with my two FBs, despite both of them being nowhere near as attractive.  It feels like this may be an inevitable part of being with the same girl for quite a long time. Is there anything you can suggest to mitigate it?

Let’s get this out of the way. What Paul is talking about is normal. Yes, even in an OLTR. Not only can it be normal, it is biological, which means it is not necessarily anyone’s fault. As I discuss in The Unchained Man, we’ve got the bodies, DNA, and brains of cavemen living 100,000 decades back.   


The feminine caveman was hard-wired to be drawn to the father of her kids just until those kids could be cellular and fend for themselves by around age three. Following that, she had no biological reason to be drawn to him, and was, perhaps, on another man.  

I say”was” in both cases , but the fact is that it must be”is.” You and your long term girlfriend or wife are hard-wired right now to get sexually pleased with each other to a degree as the dating ages. It can not not occur finally unless one of you is a bizarre and rare exception to the rule. You do not have very much control over hard-wired biology, and if you believe you do, try not taking a rest for 48 hours.   


The key word in the above paragraph is that the word finally . The fantastic thing is that you have a whole lot of control over how long finally is, in addition to the seriousness of any reduction of attraction.

Let us take reasonably common situation from the woman’s perspective. She is the typical nice woman. He is a confident Alpha Man with lots of dating and woman encounter. She is super attracted to him, and they become a really serious OLTR and move in together.  

Let us look at two possible situations :  

He begins acquiescing to a lot of her needs. He begins spending more time at home and less time working on his company and his Mission. With time, he stops having sex with other girls because he admits he”does not have to” since the sex with her is so great. He begins gaining a little weight too.  

Scenario two: Despite currently living with the girl of his dreams, the man remains a pure Alpha 2.0. He works hard on his organization and Mission. Occasionally she softly bugs him to work less and spend more time with her, but he well says no and continues. He proceeds to have regular sex with one or two really sexy, younger FBs on the side, even though she complaints about occasionally. He really starts lifting weights and watching his diet and begins losing weight, looking better than he did when they first began dating.  

Here is the question. Assuming both situations were the same in most respects except what I just explained, do you believe the girl is going get bored with him sexually in the same time in both situations?   

Obviously not! In situation 1, she is likely to get bored with him sexually pretty damn quickly, maybe within the first 12 months, certainly within the first 2-3 years (again, unless she is a really strange exception to the rule).  

In scenario 2, it’ll be a lengthy time until she starts getting bored with him, years and years. Even if she is frustrated with his lack of compliance, her sexual desire for him will remain very strong. Read this if you would like additional information about why.  

Can she never get bored with him if they remain together and if he stays Alpha 2.0? No. That is Guy-Disney, and Disney does not exist. She is still a woman and has core human biology. While it is going to take many years, she’ll still eventually reach the point where sex with him does not turn her on as much as it once did. Assuming the relationship remains strong and he is doing everything right, she will probably continue to remain with him. (Double that if he starts doing well financially.) Of course there are no guarantees and All Relationships Are Temporary™, but I am just saying that she is unlikely to depart when she gets sexually pleased with him, unlike Plenty of girls in ordinary monogamous relationships to dull beta men or exasperating (in the woman’s standpoint) Alpha Man 1.0s. 

Regardless, Paul is asking about his sexual boredom.   

Well, it works the exact same way, just in reverse.  

Since he is a human, Paul will finally get sexually pleased with his OLTR, even though she is sexy as hell and fantastic in bed, especially if they move in together. It can’t not occur (unless he is a peculiar exception to the rule, which obviously , he’s not).   

But, his girlfriend has the capability to delay Paul’s boredom by several years. All she must do is keep acting like how she acted when she first started dating Paul. If she does this, and most girls do not, then it’ll be a lengthy time before Paul starts getting bored.  

However, I bet that when I did a comprehensive analysis of Paul, his girlfriend, and their connection, I’d realize there are many behaviours his girlfriend is no longer doing that she was able to do when the connection was new. There could also be new behaviours she’d probably introduced into the relationship which didn’t exist when the connection was new and hot to Paul.  

We can only speculate on what these behaviors are, but I guarantee they’re there.   

It might not be only behaviours. Her look may have changed. Maybe she has gained some weight even though she is still attractive. Perhaps she had really long hair and how she has short hair, or possibly changed the colour of her hair. Maybe she sees differently and/or wears makeup.  

Paul’s conscious mind does not find those things, but his subconscious mind picks up on it all. Then, for some reason Paul does not know he has trouble getting hard during intercourse with her, although he really likes her and remains decently drawn to her (so he believes ).  

Are there instances where guys are in longer relationships with a girl and become bored with them although the girl does not shift? Or do not change much? It happens, but it is much rarer. All men need sexual selection. Again, we are cavemen so we can not help it; it is assembled into the heart of who we are. However, some guys have a much stronger demand for variety than many others. Some guys need an insane quantity of variety. It is these guys who will eventually get bored with a girl somewhat quickly regardless of what she does.  

I have spoken with intense Thrill of the Hunt guys who actually begin to get bored with a girl once they have had sex with her four or five times. They may continue to have sex with her then, but the excitement and sexual pleasure is not what it was. Their need for sexual variety is way beyond the average.

It is unlikely you’re inside this class, but if you’re, then yeah, you are going to need to learn how to handle that if a long-term OLTR is in your future.  

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Women leave men.That’s what they’re hard-wired to do.You can not change it. Society can not change it. Laws can not change it. Seduction or relationship techniques can not change it. “Being Alpha” does not change it. Religion does not change it.Women. Will. Leave. You.Period.Men respond to this fact in one of three ways:Hate it, resent it and girls, and anger about how horrible and unjust it is. Use all sorts of theoretical bullshit, this-should-work techniques and attempt to avoid the inevitable from ever happening. (“Okay, should I marry a Christian virgin woman with two married parents and a college degree…”) Know and accept it and incorporate it into your life in a manner that does not hurt your long-term happiness. Option one is psychological. Choice two is absurd and Guy-Disney. Only option three has some good prospect of working for you in the actual world, and at the long term.Today I will discuss how it is possible to comprehend this behavioral pattern and really integrate it into your life so that it is an expected and normal matter rather than a catastrophic event every time it occurs.A while ago, a commenter wrote this:
I actually have an mltr who’s now back with me has left me for an Alpha 1 for 4 weeks or so. How you sound, I’m doing something wrong or she never would have left me for another Alpha.
Yep, that is right. Needless to say, nothing is 100% in life, and there are always rare exceptions to every rule, but as always, the exceptions prove the rule.To be clear, I am not talking about if she goes out and fucks another Alpha but remains with you or comes back to you quite quickly. That is not”leaving.” I am just talking about if she full scale leaves you for these guys. If this happened to you, then yes, you’re likely not Alpha enough.This is because when girls have a good deal of one thing, they finally begin to search for the opposite. As I’ve explained before, women are constantly drawn to psychological variance. Feeling the very same things over and over again are fine for many men, but this is hell on Earth for a girl. If she feels bad all of the time, she is likely to run out and do something which makes her feel really good, even if it’s unsuitable. If she feels great all the time, she will eventually self-sabotage herself, her relationships, or her job, to create drama and difficulties in her life so that she can feel”normal” again.This is completely unlike a guy who, for better or worse, can work in a dull 8-5 job, come home, have a beer, watch a soccer game, and go to sleep, and live like this for 25 years straight.Women’s boredom tolerance and status quo tolerance is a very small fraction of what a man’s is. Concerning a sexual/romantic relationship with a guy, when girls leave, they move from Alpha, or from beta to Alpha. In any event, they are going from one thing they are missing to another person. They do not go from precisely the identical point to a lot of the same. This is the reason I have virtually never needed a girl leave me for another Alpha, but I have had scores of girls (temporarily) leave me for betas. It happens all of the time. (And needless to say, 94% return , for the exact same reason.) The sheer masculinity, drive, power, and beauty (I am talking more about inner attractiveness, not outside ), terrific sex, and sense of adventure really turn her on. When it is a territorial and covetous Alpha 1.0 or an outcome independent Alpha Male 2.0 does not matter. Until she does not. She is a woman, so finally (weeks, months, or years) she gets tired of being controlled and yelled at by the Alpha 1.0 or the psychological distance or lack of Disney of the Alpha 2.0. The exact traits she adored in this powerful man, she hates.She leaves.If he is an Alpha 1.0, he flies into a rage at her disloyalty and disrespect, and there are enormous arguments. If he is an Alpha 2.0, he shrugs and has sex with one of the other younger, sexier girls he already has on turning. (And he knows she will be back, so he does not really mind.)What can she do? Can she go get another Alpha? Fuck no! She has had enough of Alphas. She needs a Nice Guy. A Gentleman. A person who kisses her ass, takes her out to dinner, and tells her she is pretty all time. Someone who will worship the ground she walks on and somebody who will follow her schedule. She needs a beta.She finds one quite quickly since most men nowadays are betas (which is, perhaps, the single biggest reason for the slow collapse Western culture is currently experiencing). She snags up one and immediately he makes her his girlfriend, which is exactly what betas do.Initially, she enjoys it! After weeks, months, or years using an Alpha who pretty much never did what he was told, being with a guy who slathers her with attention, affection, cash (in the shape of dinners, beverages, gifts, trips, or even real money) being with her new beta boyfriend is a god damn dream come true for her. She plasters his pic throughout her social websites, immediately introduces him to all her girlfriends and family, and she loves every moment of her Disney bliss.Until she does not. The precise traits she loved from this guy now piss off her.She leaves.The beta cries (often literally) and feels like his life has come to an end. He tries to get her back 27 times to no avail and spends the next six months feeling depressed and stalking her Instagram page.What can she do? Can she go get another beta? Fuck no! The last thing she needs is another needy pussy. She needs a MAN now. She hooks up with another Alpha. Or, if the previous Alpha has been an Alpha 2.0, she goes right back to him rather, since visiting him is a lot easier than finding a new Alpha, which can be a tricky process for the majority of women, involving a lot of dull dates, needy guys, jerks, and a whole lot of frustration. The harder dating becomes for girls, the better it is for us Alpha Male 2.0s. (And it is a very great time to become an Alpha 2.0 right now. And it will become even better.) As she gets older, the time with every guy develops, but she {} stop leaving them.Sometimes she marries one of her beta men, has a couple of children, and then divorces his bum for an Alpha, and continues the eternally back-and-forth beta/Alpha dance.She keeps doing so until she strikes her early sixties or so. Now, she understands her sexual attractiveness is not what it was, and she is not really interested in sex that much anyway, so whatever man she is currently with (typically a beta), she just puts up with.Here is how all this ties back to you. If a girl leaves you to get an Alpha, guess what that means? What type of picture do you feel you were introducing this woman? Alpha, or beta? The reverse is also correct. If the huge majority of girls leave you for complete beta men, this is an excellent sign. This means you’re the Alpha, otherwise she would be going for additional Alphas. Better yet, if you are an Alpha 2.0, there is about a 94% chance she will return to you in some time, which means she actually did not leave you. She only took a little break.Again, there are strange exceptions for this. There are times a woman can leave an Alpha for an uber-Alpha, just like there are intense Dominants who abandon betas for much more submissive betas. But again, these are the exceptions.Your objective isn’t to keep a woman with you forever. That is not in the cards. Rather, your goal is to ensure that:When she leaves, she leaves you for unattractive beta men. This guarantees that… She will eventually be back.

That’s what they’re hard-wired to do. You can not change it. Society can not change it. Laws can not change it.

The article Why Girls (Temporarily) Leave You appeared on The Blackdragon Blog.

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