Should you regret breaking up with your ex and think that the whole relationship was a waste of your life, then there are a whole lot of things moving inside you that you may want to have a close look at. I was speaking to a customer the other week, and he said he regretted a yearlong relationship that had lately come to a conclusion in his life.This is not the first time I’ve heard somebody saying that they wanted they could reverse the fact that a romantic relationship had taken place.If this is a thought that you have had about a particular connection, then this short, dense article will be a small mind fuck for you.Alright, no longer preamble. No foreplay. Here is what’s up.One of two things is going on in the event you want you could take back a connection. 1. Either you are not completed processing your pain, or2. You have not given up the victim mindset, taken responsibility, and gleaned your lessons from the connection yet.Every relationship we engage in… no matter how frustrating, tumultuous, or painful it is… was drawn into our lives to teach us something special.It doesn’t matter if the relationship lasted for a day, or for 100 years. It is all valuable content to your never-ending character development.So if you are in a place where you’re telling yourself you wish you could strike a connection from your psychological records, you {} to process your harm or search for the lessons.Ways To Process The Hurt You Still Carry 1. Set aside an hour to listen to sad songs, look at photographs of you and your ex, locate the harm inside your body, and breathe deeply to it. Give the hurt your entire attention and inform it,’Pain, you’ve got a house here. It is okay that I feel this manner’ 2. Write an angry letter to your ex in which you let it all hang out. Adopt the victim mindset and state each the nastiest shit you can consider. Then, burn the letter. Or split it up into tiny pieces and toss it in the recycling bin. No, you can not send them. Your pain is the pain. 3. Vent all your residual pain, frustration, and ideas to a close, trusted, a non-shaming buddy who will hold space for you. Tell them exactly what you need from them upfront (probably, to not have them provide any hints or guidance, but only to hear you out entirely until you are done), and then purge the words from your mouth. There is a therapeutic advantage to being observed in our truth… even if our truth is temporary and being shared through the lens of our harm. Share your ideas, release any feelings which come up if that happens… and then take a deep breath, then hug your friend, and proceed forward.Approaches to Bring Lessons From A RelationshipStill can not find any small sliver of the possible benefit that might have come from the connection? Totally at a loss for why you had to go through it? 1. Is one annoying aspect of the connection that it was like other relationships you’ve had in the past (possibly in the way in which the connection was day to day, or how it ended)? Then there has to be a lesson that’s attempting to make itself known to you. As Pema Chodron once stated:
“Nothing ever goes away until it’s taught us what we will need to know.” If you keep finding yourself in exactly the exact same sort of relationship or suffering from a similar kind of the relationship end, then there’s a pattern that’s attempting to emerge on your conscious mind. Then ask yourself, What lesson do I want to incorporate from what this pattern is attempting to show me?
2. In the earlier years of our relationship life, we frequently need to experience a series of partners so as to simply find out more about ourselves what we enjoy, and what we do not like in a romantic partner. Perhaps you dated someone who was extremely like you in a lot of ways and found that this lack of sexual control wore on you. Or maybe you dated someone who was too different from you, along with the absence of overlap was overly challenging. From time to time, the relationships we bring into our lives are only mirroring for us to look into, realize something new about ourselves, and then, armed with our newfound improved self-awareness, we consider that lesson and discover a more highly aligned partner.3. Ultimately, some relationships come into our lives just so we understand to prevent that sort of connection in the future. I say this stage last intentionally since a lazy mind can want to race towards this option when, in fact, they are just bypassing their course and avoiding looking inwards in a fair manner.If someone rushed into a relationship and then broke your heart by leaving suddenly, have a look at your relationship to time, familiarity, and your {} , to see how you could have drawn such a spouse. Or, in the event that you attracted someone who had been exceptionally vain and shallow, and you found yourself being drawn to their charm and put off with it, take a look at your own propensity for superficiality.In all these cases, the master question is,”How am I like this?” . When we honestly look at the overlap that we had with our exwe stop giving our power up and placing the blame on them, and we take responsibility for ourselves and proceed with greater clarity and psychological freedom.JordanA version of the post was
formerly published on Themindsjournal.com and is republished here with permission from the author. ◊♦◊Have you read the first anthology which was the catalyst for Your Great Men Project? ◊♦◊If you think in the work we’re doing here at The Great Men Project and wish to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, now. All Premium Members get to See The Great Men Project with NO ADS. A whole list of advantages is here.–Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

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