I am a naturally anxious person, so when I read things like”getting married triggers individuals stress,” I almost want to laugh.

I am a naturally anxious person, so when I read things like”getting married triggers individuals stress,” I almost want to laugh. Everything causes me stress. But, I know why marriage would make people feel stressed. You are saying, this is my person and I will stop searching for another individual to be with. That’s pretty profound. Before you walk down this aisle you’ve got a good deal of things to take into account. First, read this pre-marital article, which summarizes topics to go over with a counselor/therapist prior to getting married.

This makes sense to me because if you are concerned about settling down, speaking with a therapist may help alleviate that anxiety. Sure, you can speak with your partner about your nervousness, but it may be embarrassing to do that. They may translate your nervousness as ambivalence to get married. It is natural to feel nervous prior to making a significant life change. Getting married is exciting but may also be frightening. Some people are incredibly independent and see marriage as a threat to this liberty. The truth is it is not a feature of your independence, it is actually going to fortify you. Provided that you are not engaged in a co-dependent connection, your marriage can allow you to grow as an individual.

Having a healthy relationship makes life more joyful. There have been studies that document this. So if you’re scared your marriage will bring about your unhappiness in life, it is unlikely unless you are ignoring other issues within the relationship. The other point to consider is that marriage isn’t the only thing that will make you happy. You must make you happy. We are all working on our happiness through our lives. But, it is a procedure. Do not expect a marriage or dating to fix your problems, otherwise you are going to set yourself up for major disappointment.

Feeling uncomfortable before you get married is organic, so discuss that with a mental health professional. Having an impartial person who’s trained in this area is crucial. I would advise seeing a therapist who’s a licensed marriage and family counselor (LMFT). They’re trained to advise people about relationships and may provide you the most accurate advice. A certified therapist in this area knows how to find both sides of the couple’s anxieties and concerns and assist both parties browse through their fear.

What if one person is more fearful than another one? That individual has the opportunity to share their fears facing the potential life partner and the therapist. It may be easier to talk openly with that neutral party gift. It is less threatening than facing your spouse and saying these things without advice.

Another aspect to consider is that your family may not understand why you are attending pre-marital counseling. They don’t need to. That is your business and your marriage. It’s exactly like visiting a regular therapist for emotional health difficulties.

What about you? Would you think about visiting a pre-marital counselor?

This post was formerly published on www.huffpost.com and is republished here with permission from the author.


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I am a naturally anxious person, so when I read things like”getting married triggers individuals stress,” I almost want to laugh.

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