You Can’t Control Your Environment, You May Just Control Your Reaction To It

You can not control your environment, you can only control your response to it. Let us talk about this now, and let us break it down into a few basic principles.

Say you are driving behind someone you absolutely can not stand. You do not know them, but you definitely can not stand them because they are driving far slower than the rate limit.

What should you do?

The issue is that man in front of you’ve got no idea why you are honking at him. He is just enjoying his afternoon.

He is thinking about the terrific assembly he just had, or about how he can not wait to get home so he could have sex with his wife. He can not figure out why there’s a maniac behind him honking his horn.

Here is the bottom line: You can not control him.

Say you’re wishing to approach a girl you see in the supermarket. A good deal of you get a lot on your head and think to yourself,”Oh man, I must say the perfect thing. If I say the perfect thing, she’s going to be turned on by me that she’ll want to go out with me. So I must think of the specific right thing to say so that I can find the response I want.”

The trouble with this sort of thinking is that you can not control her response. All you can do is control the way you’re in that circumstance.

If you walk over to her as a confident, strong man — a man who believes in himself and that he is as a man and who believes he’s a gift — then that’s all you do in this circumstance.

That is all you can control.

Say you’re heading out on a third date with a girl, and all you can think about is how badly you want to have sex with her that evening. So you plan out the whole night carefully.

You cook her dinner in your home. You open up a bottle of wine. You have even put an extra toothbrush in the toilet, since you’re so sure she will spend the night with you.

At the end of the night, you are making out with her. Things appear to be going perfectly, then she looks at you and says”I have to get home. I have an early meeting tomorrow, but let’s pick up this another night.”

Most men will immediately enter”I wish to control her response” mode. They’ll enter salesman manner, and try to sell her on staying over by saying something like”Please remain. I would like to be with you.”

The reality is, however, that you don’t understand what’s actually behind her leaving. She is in the midst of her time, and does not want her first time having sex with you to be while she is on her period.

She might, as she said, have an early meeting. She may be thinking that if she stays over, that she will be banging all night long.

What you will need to do in this time is look at her and say,”I completely get it. That’s what a real man does.

A true man will lead. She’ll respond and say,”Absolutely!” You have gotten her right in the moment she’s hottest for you and is feeling you the most.

So bear in mind that you can not control people’s reactions. You can, however, lead them down a path.

I would like you to remember the very first sentence of the blog the next time you feel you are not getting what you need in a circumstance. If you remain true to yourself, you will not just get what you want, but you’ll get it back tenfold.

This post was formerly published on and is republished here with permission from the author.


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