Where’s the Compassion?


Someone recently said to me,”These specialists on training, finance and company are making money on things that nobody has to be taught. It is 100% instinct. The men and women who use their instincts don’t have any reason to want someone to teach them how to date. It is just plain common sense.”

That’s a wonderful quote. I will agree with it… 100%.

Forget about all of the experts — especially in finance and dating. I mean, come on.

Look how good Americans are in fund. Look at all the fantastic things they have done to themselves.

Look at the amount of those who have borrowed from their home believing that the real estate market was about to go up 100 percent each year. Look at all the men and women who kept their money in the stock exchange during the. Com heyday, believing their shares could go up 200% each year.

Yes, people do not need financial help in any respect. People — the vast majority of people — clearly require a whole lot of financial help. Something like 95 percent of individuals who win the lottery have been broke within six decades.

People today need financial help! A buddy of mine purchased a home in 2005. In Los Angeles, homes went up in value 132 percent in five decades. He thought that homes would continue to go up and up since there’s not any more land in Los Angeles. Now he has lost $300,000.

So according to this quote, people do not need financial assistance? It is”just plain common sense?” Really?

In terms of dating, sure I will agree that it also is”just plain common sense.” In this case I’m really not being sarcastic.

The thing is that people do not trust themselves when it comes to dating. They’re reluctant to approach. They are afraid to say what is on their mind.

When they are on a date, they are scared to challenge somebody since they’re searching for validation and acceptance. They need to be liked. They need to be loved.

Do not get me wrong. I adore people who figure out things by themselves. I love people that are financially secure or are good at dating all independently.

The issue is that a large part of those people today believe everybody else should be like them. It was so simple for them, and they have no empathy for others that are screwing up in these areas and are not mastering them independently.

Allow me to tell you, the 80/20 rule is accurate, and 80 percent of the world is screwing up. They do not get it. They do not understand. 80 percent of the world can not balance their own checkbook, make a budget or walk throughout the room to approach someone of the opposite sex.

When people say something similar to the quote I put at the start of the blog, I say to them,”You don’t have any compassion.” If you need assistance in 1 part of your life, you ought to go and get it!

If you need help with dating, you will find people like myself that can assist you.

Really, a lot of what I teach is to get people to trust their instincts. I teach people how to trust themselves, love themselves and how to become self-aware.

Shame on you to the man who gave me the quote that began this blog, for believing that nobody has to be taught these things. Shame on you.

There are several people out there who are lonely, angry, angry, and bankrupt. So many lonely folks who can not date, who can not make the ideal relationship decisions, but according to whoever gave me this quote they ought to just figure it out by themselves. It is all instincts and common sense.

The thing is that these people’s instincts and common sense have not gotten them anywhere. So why pass judgment about those folks, and about their decisions to seek help. Passing judgment on people is why we are in such a mess in this country.

I really like that I teach people how to date, the way to meet people and how to love themselves. I have compassion for it and I love it.

So come on people. Stop judging others that are having trouble with a portion of the life, and start supporting them.

I can imagine what happens when the girl who gave me the quotation at the start of the blog has a friend come to her for guidance. She probably only says to her friend,”Just use your common sense.” I can even imagine how badly and how embarrassing that friend must feel after hearing this.

This lady should say to a buddy like this is,”You know, I may have gotten this part of my life so, but I can totally understand where you’re at and how you’re feeling. Let us find you some help and the ideal people to speak to about this, so that you can make this part of your life”

Let us start supporting each other and stop judging each other.

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Outcomes of Low Libido on Men and Their Relationships

Sex is a tough topic for many to discuss. It may feel invasive and embarrassing — especially if there are issues. Sadly, this means that lots of individuals and couples endure for years without getting aid, and this may severely impact relationships.

Men may have a particularly tough time talking about sexual issues. The consequences of the problems and a person’s unwillingness to discuss them may be harmful not only to them, but to their spouses. Among the most important and most complicated issues for a man and his partner to face is a lack of sex drive, or reduced libido.

It is not an inability to have sex is it the exact same thing as erectile dysfunction (ED). Men with low libido may have sex — they simply don’t want to. It’s not unusual for men (or women) to experience varying sex drive during their lives. Sometimes, however, it can go on for quite a very long time and affect the quality of a person’s life and relationships.

Low libido can occur for several reasons. It can be a result of drugs, stress, age, or underlying health difficulties. It may also be a sign of depression or other mental health issues. Whatever the case, among the biggest effects of reduced libido which goes on for a long time period is that it may make different problems in a person’s life worse.

Gender for many men is a huge part of how they define themselves. And in society, for better or worse, sexual art is considered a part of what it means to be a guy. So when a person no longer has the desire to have sex it may have adverse effects on his self-esteem and self-confidence. There’s a whole lot of a man’s ego wrapped up in his ability to perform sexually and please his partner. Any inability to do that, bodily or otherwise, can be catastrophic. He may start to feel insecure and inadequate. For a man that’s already afflicted by depression or problems with their self-perception this can feel like one extra failure.

Sexual problems for one spouse are really problems for both spouses. And while a person may struggle with feelings of failure, his spouse will also suffer from similar feelings.

Low libido in 1 spouse can cause another to feel as though they’re the problem. Are they not attractive enough? Is there somebody else? Has he simply dropped out of love and lost interest? These are questions often asked when a spouse is not really interested. For all those men suffering with reduced libido, but this is not a problem due to one individual or another, it goes deeper. Sadly, this can be tough to comprehend and therefore greatly disrupt an otherwise joyful relationship.

This may be especially true once the spouse with low libido is your guy. Generally when the subject of low libido arises girls are the ones being discussed and also the initial reasons considered are biological. It can take plenty of time, effort, and hope to determine that the issue isn’t an issue of one spouse being a”turn-off” but something much deeper.  In the meantime harm to the connection can happen that can be tough to fix.

Once it has been determined that it is not the connection that’s the issue, but instead a lagging sex-drive, you’ll have to use him to ascertain what is causing it. With any luck it is something that’s easy to tackle, but if not you’ll have to work out a strategy for fixing the matter. This may include his talking with his primary care doctor or a mental health professional.

This does not have to mean that you place your sex life. It might just mean that you must take things slow and get more creative.

Bear in mind that this is a very tough topic for most people to discuss. Getting to the root of items will require patience and understanding. Long-term relationships go through many ups and downs and sexual dry spells occur for several reasons. Working together are the trick to a more active and fulfilling sex life.

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–Three loaded words. They imply infatuation, fascination, hope, desire, despair, happiness, fear, jealousy, devotion, and a shit-ton more. We state them when we think we mean them when we expect we mean them when we know we do not mean them when we can not help but mean, when we just utilized to mean them. They’re a watershed for each affair, hopefully, when you have exhausted your capacity to express affection and gratitude for somebody by saying that you like them, love them, love them, etc. You say them once you end up prefixing every compliment with”actually,” using more superlatives than an over-caffeinated preteen, and you’re powerless to convey your feelings in any other conditions.You say them if a individual becomes the axis around which your ideas and feelings revolve, and you know you could not deny them whatever it was in your power to give them. You say them once you know you could forgive a person for so much your sanity and well-being are theirs to undergird or dismantle. You say, like someone who’s just sober enough to understand {} drunk, waving helplessly and thankfully goodbye to a sense of control and objectivity.The first time you opt not to say them, when you admit to yourself that you have not supposed them in a while, or when you would still imply them, but it has become immaterial, is often the most painful experience of your lifetime. They’re, possibly, the three riskiest words in the English language, and anyone who has lived, really lived, knows they’re as much of a precipice as strong bedrock. When you have everything to lose and you are prepared to put it down for somebody, you say, a prayer and a promise,”I love you”–What’s Next in The Great Men Project? Improve your relationships. Join our Love, Sex, Etc..  Connect the Sex, Love Etc.. We think you will enjoy our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS–WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to talk, gain insights, build communities– and help resolve some of the most troublesome challenges the world has now. Calls are for Members Only (though you can combine the first call for free). Join now! Join The Great Men Project Community All levels get to see The Great Men Project website AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS–combine as many groups and courses as you need for the whole year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to some ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–along with other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a {} ad-free viewing experience. <! Please note: If you’re already a writer/contributor in The Great Men Project, log in here prior to enrolling. (Request a new password if desired ).◊♦◊ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 annually ) includes:1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Combine all of our weekly forecasts, Social Interest Groups, courses, workshops, and personal Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or internet class each and every day of the week. 2. See the site with no advertisements when logged in! 3. MEMBER commenting badge. ***ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 annually ) includes all of the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class. ***ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you aren’t ready to join the complete conversation but wish to support our mission anyway. You’ll still receive a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time (Friday calls only). This is for men and women that think –just like we do–that this conversation about men and changing characters and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can get now. Need more details? Click here. ♦◊♦We’ve pioneered the biggest worldwide conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspirational and valuable. What We Talk About When We Talk About Guys –Photo courtesy iStock.

They mean everything.

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I’m So Worried About My Child I Can Not Be Intimate With My Husband. Ask Allana.

My husband is trying to be understanding but I understand that his patience is wearing thin.

Query : My husband and I are the proud parents of a gorgeous little girl. She’s my world. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I’m consumed by her. I am aware that I can not seem to do anything about it, which is beginning to cause problems in the intimacy department. I really don’t want to have sex because I believe I won’t have the ability to get to her when she needs me. I might not hear her. I sleep in the nursery each night since I am so concerned about her. My husband is trying to be understanding but I understand that his patience is wearing thin.

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Response : Wow! To ask me this question is the individual to ask. Yes, you’re right — this is not working. Your worrying is not love — it is worry, it is fear — not enjoy. We’ve got two choices — love or fear. In addition, I understand the love of a child. I know that they’re everything. You created them on your body, they’re the most valuable thing to you. In case you’ve got to be by her, sleep with her, not make love and revel in rejuvenating your sensuality and linking with the father, she’s going to believe life is a frightening place, life is a dangerous place — she won’t ever relax, open, be happy, be free, be living if you’re so on her with all this pressure and I know this isn’t what you want.

I remember when I let my son go live with his afternoon primarily, I remember when he was one and we began 50/50 and my breast were still filled with milk, I just wanted to be with him. I’ve even experienced death, my very best friend died when I was 16. It was among the biggest gifts to aid me from the time I got to be a mother. I’ve been through passing to another side. I think we are eternal beings. I’ve been through the most excruciating pain of watching my mother die too, and I kept breathing.

This is your training — I’d encourage you to do some training with me. I can take you through this fire to the other side and you’ll experience your eternal nature and you’ll give that spaciousness, security, and calmness to your own daughter — and your union will get back on course, and your spouse will be thankful! Promise! Go to allanapratt.com/strategy — put in the code”friend” and you’ll find a discount. Let us connect — I guarantee you after one semester, you’ll be like”Yep — she is my trainer — let’s do this!” Or go straight to 6 sessions, and let us do it.

To continue our training here, breathe I bet you’re holding your breath a good deal. If you keep on your breath and breathe, I’m not saying this is enjoyable, but if you continue breathing through everything you think will kill you — I guarantee you it won’t. It’ll be scary, it’ll be tough, and very uneasy. When we breathe down into our hearts, breathe into that belly that birthed that beautiful baby, keep breathing — the emotion/fear will pass and leave and you’ll be left more calm, more serene, and more connected to your instinct, which is what will keep your baby safe — not the fretting — which will make her scared. Once you release the fear in your instinct and on your belly, that’s your consciousness and discernment and that’s what will keep your infant safe while keeping your calm and keeping you connected to your spouse. It’s totally possible — I guarantee you.

Meanwhile, breathe, and understand that I adore.
You can achieve this.

Allana

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Want to Feel Better After a Broken Heart? Then Steer Clear of People Who Suck!

Have you been divorced or recovering from a heartbreak and working to reconstruct your self-esteem? When you are working to get your confidence and construct boundaries, there’s one”hiding in plain sight” barrier that will prevent you from reaching your targets.

And that is surrounding yourself with toxic folks.

  • The pushy one with unsolicited advice that makes you doubt your choices
  • The rude one throwing shade with snide remarks and back-handed compliments
  • The person who blames you and makes himself the sufferer when you call them out on their BS.

Sound like anybody you know?

Is it a sister or brother? That”friend” who says they are”only trying to assist you?”

Literally every individual deals with these people on the daily. They have known you for quite a long time, and understand your sore spots, causes, and vulnerabilities. They have had decades to perfect them.

That is why one of the remarks can leave you devastated for days.

The key about toxic people in your life…

100 percent of the criticism has nothing to do with you. They’re projecting their own insecurities on you and not taking responsibility for their own crap.

Bear in mind the time your sister stated,”those jeans look just a little comfortable on you, do not you think?” Though they knew you were hitting the gym?

They ensured can’t fit in their own jeans, or just saw a picture of the thinner selves in college.

Keep in mind that time you got that promotion at work and instead of congratulating you, your mom or dad said,”Oh, so I guess that means you will be spending much less time with your children.”

They’re guaranteed feeling resentful or guilty that looking back, they missed lots of your youth concerts and games.

So, what do you need to do about these?

Option 1: Continue to let them walk all over you, saying”that’s exactly who they are. This choice is risky since you put yourself in danger of continuing frustration and hurt feelings.

Choice 2: Stand up for yourself. This doesn’t need to seem like a Jerry Springer fight. But it requires courage, especially if this sort of individual has treated you a particular disrespectful way for years or decades.

  1. “Hey (insert individual’s name), it really hurts my feelings when you do/say (insert dangerous action here). I’d request that you keep those comments to yourself.
  2. “Hey (insert individual’s name). I notice that you are always commenting or giving me unsolicited advice on my divorce/looks/weight/recovery/insert whatever they are always commenting on. I’d ask that you don’t do this anymore, at least until I especially request your advice.”

So, a fast heads-up when you stand up for yourself from poisonous men and women. If the individual has some amount of emotional intelligence, they might take a step back and say, “Oh, wow… Sorry.

Or they might get defensive and turn it on you. They may say, “I am only trying to assist you. If you do not want my honest opinion, then fine. ” And they may stomp off or hang up the telephone or stonewall you or any other 5-year-old-at-the-playground silliness.

If this reaction occurs, that’s a HUGE RED FLAG that maybe this relationship is unhealthy. This ain’t the end of the world–it is just a chance to prepare healthy boundaries.

Oh, and I get you might not just have the ability to walk away from this individual so easily. They may be a relative or close friend you’ve known for ages.

But remember–being connected to somebody doesn’t give them carte blanche to disrespect you.

  1. Be aware that a number of the most toxic individuals could be those nearest to you
  2. Their hurtful words don’t have anything to do with you, but what to do with their own insecurities
  3. You have the ability to speak up for yourself…even if you are older and have not done much of it.
  4. Family members and close friends *don’t * have to be disrespectful just because they are on your own life and have done so for a long time.

So, how about you? Can you close family and friends who put you down?

What two measures will you take the next time it occurs?

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Knowing the Codependent and Borderline Personality Disorder Relationship Dynamic

Dedicated to advocating a fresh outlook for individuals, and offering them the necessary tools to create an authentic, fabulous lifestyle – Ashley Berges, syndicated talk show host of Live Your True Life PERSPECTIVES, founder, and host of The Celebrity PERSPECTIVE (a new web series launching this autumn ), is also renowned life coach, in-demand keynote speaker, modern philosopher, acclaimed author and clinical psychologist.

With over 100k followers on Social Networking and a series that airs six days a week, both nationally and globally on multiple platforms & networks such as iTunes, Spreaker, iHeart Radio, Radio Monterey, KLIF 570 News, and Identify Radio UK.   Ashley, often called”The Man Whisperer,” winners her knowledge and expertise to coach people on how to: expose dating, sex and relationship pitfalls, deftly navigate through divorce, confront the challenges of the family afterward, cultivate influential leadership abilities, and winner your true life.   She has  authored the celebrated book”Live Your True Life” and her latest”The 10 Day Challenge to Live Your True Life,”  the guidebook for active men and women who wish to make valuable changes to their life.

Locate Ashley in AshleyBerges.com or on Facebook.

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6 Tips To End Your Dating Dry Spell

From Alex Wise

Summer is here and companion for your sweaty, summer nights is a essential staple of the blessed year’s successes. Even if Spring threw you for a loop, burying you under obligations, taxation horrors and overtime in the office, there is no need to worry.

There is no better time than summer to get off the couch, go mad and get your great old groove back.

Get Physical

Start forcing yourself to exercise at least a little bit every day. Whether you have the time to hit the gym, get in the habit of walking, hiking, jump-roping, swimming — anything that gets your blood pumping and heart thumping. Endorphins released will promote an immediate increase in physical assurance, and of course an overall enthusiasm for getting half naked poolside. By investing in workouts designed to strengthen your body, you prompt your brain to trust in your ability to attain. Mentally, you may feel much more competent that the more you continue to pursue the routine of frequent activity and this ultimately translates to a sense of achievement and pride that magnetizes girls on the lookout.

The main secret to dragging yourself out of a dry spell is the ability to become mentally and emotionally open to meeting new individuals. While many people might say we’re interested in meeting people, oftentimes the energy we exude is quite the opposite. If your ideas are geared towards the problem of finding someone worth dating as you are out pursuing a prospective date, the negativity you’ve concentrated on will fog any possibility of you finding answer from fun, positive men and women. Bear in mind that what you radiate is what you bring.

The way to be a worthy of a crowd’s attention, you may ask? Simply by being engaged and lively. Lots of men and women believe that in order to participate with a group conversation, they need to demonstrate their ability to keep up with the majority’s psychological pace and flow. And while it is always sensible to comprehend the dynamic already at work in a bunch, it does not necessarily mean that you have to feel inhibited if the topic at hand looks lifeless or incompatible with your current mood. It merely means you’re given the fun challenge of turning the conversation towards something you feel at ease with. By way of instance, if a group’s verbal exchange looks deadened and rare, simply locate a sequitur effective at bridging a random piece of the current conversation with a more scintillating story you love notification.

Make certain to select a story that warrants following response and dialogue, instead of a rambling anecdote that leaves you nodding into a quiet circle of bystanders. However, don’t sweat if this occurs, either. Easily laugh it off with a small comment like,”Well… Gee guys, I thought that story was going to take us somewhere, but I guess I completely dropped the ball on this one. Who is next?” When making missteps, do not panic. Make a joke about it, acknowledge the awkwardness and the audience will instantly feel comfortable.

Picking a fashion icon, and purchasing a couple of items that promote a surge of enthusiasm and confidence while suited up to hit the town is among the greatest things a single person can do for himself. Whether it’s something as small as a new pair of cufflinks or something as noticeable as a snazzy new pair of sneakers, getting dolled up is a quintessential step in revitalizing your romantic life. Bear in mind, it’s more for your benefit than hers, so select clothing or accessories that make you feel — as basic and childish as it seems, it’s the best term to use — trendy. And cool guys, regardless of their physical or aesthetic appearance, always manage to get laid.

Critical to finding yourself in fun scenarios involving girls worth winning is the ability to move beyond your comfort zone. You might not feel all too pleased to jump onto the dance floor or drive to some unknown pub from your neighborhood or have a chance on a few chicks who convinced you to attend a random house party, but being uncomfortable is often a blessing. While stuck in a rut of what you’ve familiarized as’everyday life,’ taking risks is essential.

Sure, every night might not wind up swinging. There can be nights when you’re returned home annoyed at having wasted small amounts of money and time, but there’ll also be nights when experiences find you in flourishes. If you’re ready to let go of your fears and insecurities so as to try something without warranty, it’s guaranteed you’ll grow. Whether it feels fun every time, your capacity for risk taking and spontaneous live-in will expand, finally leaving you feeling comfortable even in your most uncomfortable. This sense of at-ease which will accompany you wherever you wander, then translates into an irresistible assurance to which girls flock to when they, themselves, feel uneasy.

Have Fun

Finally, have fun. Try to locate a way to make every event, whether common or exceptional place, an experience worth your time and energy. Find humor in your anxieties, find safety in your closest friends and relinquish your despair for a date. Then, and only then, will you easily locate one.

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Get your groove back!

The article 6 Tips To End Your Relationship Dry Spell appeared on The Great Men Project.

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Intrigue Her The Moment You Walk In A Room


Would you like to be that man who walks into a room and girls are immediately mesmerized by him? How does that occur? Well, it’s really quite straightforward!

First thing to do if you walk into a room would be to slow down. They somehow feel they should get there really fast.

What I always tell men to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever door there is, and when there is not a door then you make a door around you.

You scan the room — look left, centre, right, right, centre, left — so you are taking a look at the whole room. People are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who’s walking in the area.

Not only do you do this, but if you walk in you {} sure to have really good posture. Ensure that your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Be certain you’re standing up tall and straight.

Body language is quite important. So much of life is based on first impressions.

So as soon as you walk into a room and you control power (controlling power is standing upright and walking ), then you need to walk through that area gradually. You literally must strut through that area.

Walk through that area at a really slow tempo, smile at a girl that you see — make that first contact. Give her a look straight in her eyes, smile, and ask her”How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.

It is possible to walk away right after you do so, as it’s all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very closely — with certainty and with great body language — then she is likely to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.

Next, go straight to your buddies (or whomever else you’re meeting) and have good body language when you speak to them. You smiled at the girl and she smiled back at you, and you finally have acknowledgment from all the men and women that are around you.

When you go to speak to a buddy, you be certain you greet your buddy in the same powerful way.

So not only is body language significant, but the speed of your walk is just as important. When you walk into a room slowly, you are a commanding presence that individuals will notice. When you walk into a room fast, you are hustling in that room so quickly that you are basically only a blur.

You’ve got to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you have got to find the walk right too.

Another important point to remember is the perfect body language when you are speaking to a woman. When you’re talking to a lady, you will need to look straight at her. Your body has to frame her body. This means that if you are standing there in front of her, then you need to confront her directly so you are mirroring each other.

It’s all in how you look at someone. Once more, a strong, strong man looks into someone’s eyes and shows them that the guy is in that circumstance.

When you have any questions regarding body language, it is wise to visit YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.

I know when I am speaking to a room of people, I am talking to left, centre, right. I am looking into people’s eyes to make them feel like I am connecting with them, and that’s exactly what people are searching for every time.

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5 Things to do If You Have Just Been Ghosted

If you have recently been ghosted you’re left feeling confused, abandoned, and overcome self-doubt. Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with somebody unexpectedly and without explanation, finally withdrawing from all communication.

Ghosting has been in existence since the start of time, however with today’s technology it is more overt and we notice it more quickly. With smartphones, instant messaging, social networking, texting, and dating sites, we know when someone has received our message or voicemail but has chosen not to respond.  Among the worst feelings is when you see in your text messaging the individual read your text ago and chose not to respond, which leaves you wondering why. The”why” is the thing that keeps us guessing, searching for answers, it is what keeps us up at night.

More often than not, after we are ghosted we do all the wrong things. We reach out to the individual numerous times, getting no response and feeling worse. We have a tendency to turn our despair inward and try to find error in ourselves and we resist meeting new people in fear that they’ll ghost us as well.

In a bid to assist anyone who has experienced or will experience ghosting, I’ve compiled 5 instrumental steps you may wish to take so as to feel better about the situation and get back in your psychological feet again.

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Psychosexual Dating Specialist at www.EndTheProblem.com Jacqui Olliver is a published author who renews relationships by solving psychological and sexual problems for men, women and couples. Throughout her work, she co-developed the Emotional Reset Technique™ which simplifies psychological triggers. Jacqui is passionate about helping individuals develop new mindsets and approaches to overcome life challenges.

Falling in love and starting a connection is easy, but to stay happy in your relationship for quite a while can become increasingly tough.

The post The Vital Elements for Happy, Long-Lasting Relationships appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here