These days, sex toys are so prevalent in our society that they’re regularly talked about on public media forums such as radio shows, magazines, and television broadcasts. The taboo is finally gone, but the thrill is still there and we should all be thankful for it. And while these kinds of pleasure products have been around since the dawn of time, today’s marital aid is nothing like the ones our ancestors used to have.
Modern science has revealed a lot about the human body, and in turn we have discovered much about sexual health. As it turns out, frequent orgasms are good for a person’s overall wellbeing and can help someone feel more connected to society. In fact, even the legendary John James suggests using sex toys on a regular basis, especially if you’re in a monogamous or long-distance relationship. It seems like everyone has jumped on the STB (sex toy bandwagon), which is why using them to spice things up in your bedroom is now considered such a great idea.
On the other hand, it’s not always appropriate to whip out a new pleasure product in front of your partner because these are very personal matters. Some people get offended by the concept, while others remain curious without answers for years until they’re so out of touch with the market that they have no idea where to start. Communication is key when it comes to kink, and luckily, there are several ways to make it less awkward.
3 Steps to Successfully Introducing the Concept of Sex Toys to Your Partner
The first few conversations about sexual fetishes and fantasies in a relationship can be lit. They can also be literally counterproductive. If you don’t do things right from the start, you could end up scarring your partner’s perception and make the topic taboo in your own home while the rest of the world celebrates their sexual freedom. Don’t go setting the bridge on fire before you ever cross it, follow these simple communication steps instead:
STEP ONE: Be Open about Your Wants, Needs and Fears
Talk candidly with your partner about what you desire, what you crave, and what you want to avoid because it will encourage your partner to do the same thing in turn. Ask about things like hard/soft limits, skin allergies, and material, lube, or sensation preferences. Once the truth is out in the open, you’ll be able to suggest various sex toys, positions and accessories that could help you both reach a kinkier compromise.
TIP: Bring up the topic while enjoying porn and/or during a routine sex act that you both enjoy. Treat sex toys like a safe and satisfying enhancement to your already amazing session to make your partner more confident about incorporating one.
STEP TWO: Explore All Your Options
Did you know that the sex toy industry is large enough to contain products for every erogenous zone known on the human body? So, whether you’re talking about the penis, the clitoris, the anus, the nipples, or otherwise, there’s something available to pique your interests. The modern-day market takes in all sorts and all experience levels, with some devices made to “grow with the flow” such as in the case of the inflatable dildo. Simply use the information gathered in step one to determine which options are best for your relationship.
TIP: Certain sex toy brands offer several different models of the same toy design, while others let you fully customize your materials, settings, textures and/or experiences through various high-tech, industry-leading features such as Bluetooth, virtual reality, wireless remote controlling, and even motion sensors.
STEP THREE: Start Small, Work Your Way Up from There
When talking about the subject and looking through the available options, don’t forget to consider your realities. While you may have big plans and exciting fantasies, it’s important to realize that this is a whole new ballgame for your partner. Always start small, especially if you’re using insertable sex toys like dildos, prostate massagers and vibrators. Remember, you can always go bigger if you need to, but you can’t always go smaller in the heat of the moment. Just as a general rule, extra-large products probably aren’t appropriate for beginners.
TIP: If size is essential to you and/or your partner, try to get something that has adjustable dimensions or tailored functionality. Some devices feature things like customizable canal tightness, built-in suction controls, and interchangeable masturbation sleeves to give the average consumer a more versatile experience.
Exciting Ways to Bring Sex Toys into the Bedroom
Unfortunately, talking to your partner and conducting a little market research isn’t the end of the story. Next, you’ll have to figure out an exciting way to bring a new sex toy into the bedroom without spoiling the surprise or ruining the vibe. Here are three ways a pro would do it:
- Present It as a Special Gift
When most people think of a sex toy, they imagine a flimsy cardboard box with a clear, plastic window in the front – one or two sexy people posed seductively to entice your urge to buy the product. And while that might work at the checkout counter, it won’t do much in the way of impressing your partner. If you want to present your new device as a gift, you’ll have to buy one that comes in better packaging. Fortunately, many of today’s best manufacturers swaddle their toys in attractive containers made from all sorts of materials – wood, metal, satin and silk. Some are even made to look like common household objects, so you could literally purchase a sex toy and put it under the Christmas tree and nobody would be the wiser.
TIP: Don’t forget to look for appropriate accessories, add-ons, cleaning supplies and lubricants to make it the perfect present.
As long as you’ve had an open and honest conversation with your partner beforehand, it’s perfectly acceptable to slip a new sex toy into gameplay unexpectedly. In fact, your lover will probably be waiting for it after seeing you flex those amazing communication skills. Don’t be afraid to incorporate modest BDSM practices to make it more interesting. There’s nothing quite like being tied up and/or blindfolded by a partner right before they introduce something unfamiliar and pleasurable to your body.
TIP: Drop hints before the big day just to help calibrate where your partner’s head is at in terms of their acceptance of using sex toys.
Long-distance relationships are especially receptive to the use of sex toys and accessories, and their biggest ally comes in the form of interactive, remote-controlled pleasure devices with couples-friendly features. Many of them allow users to intermingle in real-time with a partner who is a world away, some of which can even be paid performers and porn stars who endorse the toy in question. Even in-person relationships benefit from these devices because they allow for a more personal connection between partners despite not having any real physical contact with each other.
TIP: To use interactive devices, be ready to spend some extra money on necessary equipment like internet connections and/or mobile data services, virtual reality goggles, compatible devices, etc.
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