I Have Custody of My Teen Kids–But Now Nobody Will Date Me. Ask Allana.

When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest.

Question: I’m 59 years old, I am a guy, I have custody of my three teenaged kids. When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest. Or perhaps it’s me…

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Response : This is an amazing question! Needless to say, once you aren’t in dad mode, you’re in hunk style, stud style, sexual man mode, all of the time on the planet style — of course, you’re likely to have more girls around. You have got the time, the energy, the money — the whole thing.

So now that you have children, and it seems like full-time, now you’re daddy mode all the time. It’s actually no different than a mother that loses her mojo, you are a father that has lost his mojo. Again you are in daddy mode, supplier mode. He’s making lunches and dropping children off and navigating crap that goes on. You’re giving all of your love, your focus, your patience, your playfulness — you’re giving everything to your children so there is not much left for you and you are not in that noble badass sexual energy in your pelvis, you’re most likely a good deal on your mind and in your heart, but not too much on your sexual energy.

So, it’s most likely circumstantial, but it is also lively and what I recommend is that you make time for daddy — daily and certainly once a week. What is it that makes you feel like a badass? What’s that gets you on your body? What is it that makes up you your advantage, risking, focusing on your heritage, your calling? What are you here in the world for? It may be being a daddy. That might be your calling, and that energy can be used to go do some martial arts, go surfing, go into character. Perhaps you prefer to write, join a writing group. Perhaps you like to behave — do that. Or simply spend some time on your own body, simply go to the gym and get strong. Or perhaps go to yoga and give up all your stress. There’s something you require in order to fall into your belly and fall down into your pelvis, where you could feel that sexual energy again. So that even though you’re a dad a lot of the time, you’re still a man.

While that’s certainly lots of doing energy, there’s also another side of receptivity — getting, allowing a girl to be committed to you. You have got to make space, you have got to open also. Quite often when we”do…do…do”, we do not open and let. So, I would like you to begin imagining what would a life that completely turns you on look like? Feel like? Smell like? Taste like? Your frustration is supported. Take some time to be a guy.

I have a recommendation. I have a curriculum named Dear Lover and it’s six weeks. It’s amazing, it’s interviews, my program, and it moves through clearing out any blocks you have in your heart, on your novelty, whatever you will need to forgive others, or yourself, so you may just be completely present and grounded for her. It was created as a webinar therefore it had been designed with two private sessions inside but what I provide is two discounted sessions once you get the DVD, so we can do this profound work. You can not see your blind spot, as amazing as you are. I can not see mine either. So as you’re going through this, let us make sure that you are going all of the way to the center, so you could get lasting change and maintain a space for love today.

I look forward to seeing that you updated to the 2 sessions so that we can join Skype or on the conference line and you can be an amazing, sexy, father.

All my love.

A version of the post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.


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When I had the place to myself, girls were everywhere, but today — they simply lose interest.

The article I Have Custody of My Teen Kids—But Now Nobody Will Date Me. Ask Allana. Appeared on The Great Men Project.

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A Self-Pleasuring Sexual Energy Experience

This is a self-pleasuring experience which will make it possible for you to experience your sexual energy.

Once we can construct that energy, that amazing, strong, vital sexual energy once we can assemble it and keep it inside of us, there’s an intelligence within that can use that energy. It might take us into a meditative state, deep and calm. It could fill us with zingy aliveness.
It may take us on a journey of introspection and self-inquiry.
It might be that we become full of creative ideas and energy.
It might be led to a part of us that needs recovery.
It may connect us with a sense of closeness and love for ourselves, for lifetime.
It is a space of possibility if we but let it.

Create a ritual space, a sacred space, a sensuous space.
This may be anywhere.
Be hot, without that you can not relax and become within your body.
You might want candles, music, incense, crystals, shells, items which are important to you.
Contain a lubricant on your preparation.
Pillows, towels, blankets, whatever else you feel you may need.

Start with The Heart Breath.
Put one hand, both hands, in your Heart Centre.
A slow deep breath in, a slow deep breath outside.
Maintain this breath, deep and slow for at least 5 minutes.

Then put one hand on your Yoni or Lingam and keep the other in your Heart Centre.
As you breathe you will feel that the energy moving to your Sexual Centre, as you breathe it out moves into your Heart.
It might be the other way around.
You are linking these two centre, allowing the energy to flow between them.
Maintain this breath, deep and slow for at least 5 minutes.

With some lubricant start to touch your Yoni or Lingam.

Keep your breath deep and slow.
Touch gradually, touch gently.
Keep your body relaxed.

Energy moves in comfort.
Maintain your focus on your heart, with your breath.
If your mind wanders, as it will, return to your breath.
The breath permits you to remain within your body, on your feelings, at the sense, in the energy.

A potential movement for a guy is a couple of stakes up your Lingam, hand over hand, then a few strikes, down, hand over hand.

A potential motion for a woman is stroking between your inner and outer lips on one side, a stroke down the center of your Yoni, and between the lips on the other side.

Keep your signature slow and gentle.
Do not go harder, do not go faster.
Remain in the moment, in the softness, the slowness of your self.
Remain in the sensation.
Breathe, deep and slow.
Maintain your focus in your Heart.

Keep this touch, this breathe for around 10 minutes.
Then lie still.
And breathe.
Permit the energy to move on your body as it will, to take you where it will.

A gift of sensuality, a present of sensation, a gift of relationship, a present of sexual energy, a gift of existence.
It is acknowledging yourself.
It is honoring yourself.
It is making love with yourself.

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