At the same week, I found myself in a conversation about a dad controlling his daughter’s sexuality and I watched a documentary about an entire nation controlling female sexuality.
When you are under a rock, social media almost blew up when Rapper T.I. stated in an interview he followed his 18-year-old daughter to the gynecologist for her annual exam to confirm that her hymen was intact. HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996) legislation are set up so women over the age of consent don’t need to allow their parents to the room nor discuss the results of evaluations related to their sexual health.
T.I. bragged about dismissing his daughter’s rights, telling her to sign the form that states he can get information regarding her sexual health and then demanding the outcomes from the reluctant physician. And, though that physician explained that an intact hymen does not prove virginity, T.I. felt the need to brag about his daughter staying a virgin on a podcast interview that would be broadcast all over social networking and blogs.
However, there were people on the internet, fathers and mothers, who maintained his disregard for the humiliation to his daughter was”a father protecting his daughter” or”they’d do exactly the same thing”.
To begin with, I’m mortified with this young woman. Sexuality is personal and it should be something you decide to show on your own once you feel comfortable.
A father bragging about his daughter’s virginity is comparable to the past when a father had”handed over his daughter” to be married and then paraded the damn sheets in front of people to prove he had made a good”product” in exchange for her dowry.
Let’s talk about the Hymen
The hymen is a tissue which tightens across the top of the vaginal canal. It’s now known as the”vaginal corona”.
It will not break and is forever gone. It can endure minor ruptures, which cure within one day. The appearance of the vaginal corona differs for every woman. The vaginal corona is not the identifier of if a woman has sex or not. Women who have babies still have a complete vaginal corona despite the fact that the appearance may change. Additionally, the vaginal corona can wear away with time.
Virginity is a sexual fantasy. It was a tool of labour production. In patriarchal societies, male leaders wanted children to be born to improve productivity and they had control over those kids. Since this was pre-birth control and paternity tests, the best way to understand who were your kids was to control the sexuality of the woman giving birth to them. This would lead to wealth and, finally, political power.
Society created virginity and made it the hallmark of purity. You appreciate after your loss of virginity plummeted, regardless of how it happened. This created fear among girls and dads that when a woman consented to sex before marriage she would not be of value to significant men or that she would not be cared for by a guy who would basically use her to give birth to his empire.
Finally, faith got in on it. Then, it just because a guilt-free-for all with everybody feeling entitled to use a woman’s sexuality but for the woman who owned it.
Fathers would advertise their daughters as a prime product for a wealthy businessperson and authorities her sexuality to make sure he received top dollar.
Butif she was not able to prove she had never had sex, then she would bring shame on her loved ones and end up a spinster who would never wed making her a burden on her family.
But we progressed past this, right?
Not exactly. In spite of the sexual agency, a lot of women have managed to recover there are still guys who”clock the miles on her vagina” and feel entitled to judge women harshly on their sexual habits, choices or previous decisions. The term”hoe” is thrown at any girl somebody feels has had one too many spouses beyond the”magic” acceptable number of sexual partners, which there really isn’t one.
Some guys also have very little understanding that an empowered young lady with a loving father for instance will naturally make distinct sexual decisions compared to a lady with no representation in her life. There’s absolutely not any need to see her gynecologist, bully her into signing away her approval and then burst to the world that she’s stayed chaste like her making the choice to have sex makes her less of a woman.
Sexual Rights and the One-Child Policy
At precisely the exact same time that all of this was happening, I saw a documentary on Amazon Prime known as,”One Child Nation.”
The documentary follows a woman as she learns the expense of the One Child Policy in her native homeland China. The coverage began in 1979 and continued until 2015 as a bid to stop over-population from the Chinese Government.
Based on the documentary, the government used propaganda through tv and audio to convince its citizens that the law was mandatory. Then, enforced the law by threatening imprisonment to those who violated to the law and tried to have extra children.
The documentary opened my eyes up. Medical officials and women who lived through it explained girls kidnapped, hog-tied and forced to have abortions. A Midwife said she would induce pregnancy in women, up to 8 and 9 months forcing them to give birth and then she would euthanize the babies herself.
They spoke about babies who were abandoned by parents who did not wish to lose their”one child privilege” by maintaining a daughter. They wanted to test again for a son. Infants were being abandoned everywhere in hopes that somebody would find them and give them a better life. Girls became a very low value in the eyes of parents because they wanted sons to develop, take their name and look after their household. Girls left and took care of somebody else’s house so it turned into a financial loss to maintain a daughter.
This might seem extreme, but it the most disturbing picture of getting someone else pick your sexual rights and put a low value on your own humanity.
Is the protection a dad like T.I. is offering his daughter about maintaining her”pure” or”secure” from guys or is it a fear that’s been embedded into our society about a daughter losing value once she has become sexually active? She’s not a”good woman”. Or, is it merely controlling what he sees as an extension of himself rather than believing, living human being with her own feelings and desires? Can he be congratulating his daughter for showing a restraint he has not demanded of himself. However, not by her choice but by his coercion through exploitation and controlling behaviour.
We won’t even discuss how parading your daughter’s sexuality would open her up to the predators you claim to want to keep her protected from. That is another discussion.