How Difficult Are Relationships?

I believe this is a true analogy. Relationships are hard and a union especially requires a whole lot of work to maintain. Some married couples seem to be super happy all of the time. However, you don’t understand what goes on behind closed doors. Individuals may appear happy on the outside and {} struggling on the opposite side of the door.

That does not mean that marriage is not worth it. It only means that it requires a whole lot of work and communication from both parties. You may mend that confidence but it requires hard work. Regain the confidence of your spouse in any way which makes sense to you, but I think the best way to fix your relationship is to speak with your partner. Whatever that means for you, whether it means using a one-on-one conversation privately or visiting a couples therapist on a regular basis; both of these are viable choices.

I used to think that if my amorous relationships were hard that there was something wrong with me{} I know that that is not correct. What’s true is that it occasionally feels like a relationship is ending when actually something should shift or change. Because it’s a silly thought to believe you”failed” in a relationship. A partnership means that two individuals are involved; two individuals who have distinctive personalities. A relationship is not a failure because two people are having difficulty connecting. It merely means that two individuals are having difficulty understanding one another.

And the reality is that we do not always understand each other in life. Life is filled with miscommunications and misunderstandings. That is certainly present in {} relationships and marriages. So what’s the solution? How can we work through these crossed communication cables? We try our hardest to find things from another person’s standpoint. We stop ourselves from being judgmental and rather curb that urge and be supportive. Perhaps you don’t know what your partner wants or desires, and if you do not then ask them.

Making assumptions about what your spouse is thinking or feeling is exactly what contributes to communication break down and bitterness. I’ve personally seen bitterness mutilate relationships. So rather than being resentful because you are not getting your needs met, ask for what you want. But perhaps we can all work with it. Perhaps there is a way to get what you want from your partner by being truthful. It is also about reciprocity; you give your partner what he is asking for and then he gives you what you require.

Perhaps you have struggled with how challenging relationships appear to be? What’s your greatest challenge?

A version of the post was previously published on huffpost.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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The article How Difficult Are Relationships? Appeared on The Great Men Project.

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