Question: Do you have any idea why a guy would begin immediate messaging odd woman after being in a five year relationship. Said he was”dumb” and was not physical with anybody.
I am so sorry. For those who have trust issues particularly, that would hurt and sting even more.
Trust: When we hope, it is not that we trust someone to be perfect. That sets us up for failure because nobody is perfect and you can not control anyone. That’s insanity if we attempt to control another and place all of our power — ensuring that they are a sure way to so that we’re safe. Instead, find that security and trust within you. That security being the ability to discern and know that come what may, you have got your own back — you can look after yourself. It requires a whole lot of pressure from others, to have to be a particular way, which really — when it’s a kind great person, makes them want to step up and be better for you and you feel at peace and house daily. So that is the trust issue. The how? I have all of the books, cds, dvds, and training for you — that is the how. But the what — that’s the trust issue.
Now the concept of him texting strange ladies, what I’ve learned about training a lot guys over at least the previous five or six decades, intensely through private sessions and intensives, and actually getting to be that secure place for them, to tell the truth rather than be judged and to be loved unconditionally, what I’ve found is that men love women. Men love variety. Men love all of the different tastes of the feminine. Not that you’ve done anything wrong, but perhaps there’s another flavor of your female to evolve. Occasionally we get into our groove, perhaps there are just two or three flavors of the female that we’re comfortable with — we could say one is the mother or the type caring tender component of us. Perhaps another is the naughty sensual provocateur. Maybe another resembles the queen, the self-respect, the confident, has the capability to run a family, or a business. Perhaps you haven’t researched your dork, perhaps you haven’t researched your vulnerable, soft side. Maybe there’s a part of you, that if you were to do research and discover who these other girls were, maybe they have something in common, a taste of the female that is in you, you just have not let her appear yet.
So as hard as this is, at first — get really super angry — hit a pillow, play some heavy metal music — get it from your body. Get pissed. When it is from your body, drop in and say”Thank you sisters, since you’re pointing me in the direction of the next part of me that is about to emerge.” And see exactly what it is and allow her emerge through dance, through training sessions, through only a simple awareness and conscious choice to dress like her or learn about that sort of woman or watch girls who are like this and be like them. There’s a good deal of ways that you can let, create the requirement for this portion of you to emerge. I have a sneaky feeling that after five decades, that’s probably what’s happening, no condoning his behaviour whatsoever, but when he did not know any better and you did not know any better — then no harm, no foul — now you know. You can now make another choice. What it will do for him is that he will not know who showed up to the dinner table or into the bedroom or on a dinner out since you’re likely to be embodying this other taste of the female and it will turn him keep his focus. While for you, it seems fuller, more empowering more living, to play and find all your grandeur.
What I want to advocate is that you go through my Radiance Curriculum for girl, it is a dvd. You could even update to two private sessions at a discount, which I do recommend, because it was really a webinar initially — designed for two private sessions with the six months of program. It’s 9 hours of program, interviews, and dancing practices with some tender love and attention from me to go all of the way into the core and cure whatever is in the way. You will enable the fullness of one to emerge. I bet you his behaviour will change. Making him wrong for this, as affirmed as you are, isn’t going to make him change. Inviting him to an even richer relationship, will. That’s my recommendation.
I love you to bits and thank you for your query.
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A version of the post was previously published on Allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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