Amateur sex tapes are not all they are cracked up to be… especially if it’s only for your personal collection. We get the requirement to be immortalized, but geez, go out and sponsor a little league team or something. Look, we are not trying to criticize you specifically, but let us be fair about what most homemade sex movies are — a lot of man butt. Sure, you go into it thinking about videotaping the next great American mature film, but in fact, you do not have the light, make-up, editing gear, or film crew to make that happen. You’re likely to grab yourself (and your spouse ) in the worst-possible angles, making the un-sexiest expressions, doing the least-smooth transitions, and stating the absolute strangest things. And you will be immortalizing it on tape, electronic file or DVD. Sounds awesome! A much better bet… get all of the sexy and naughtiness with the pity by immediately deleting the file, or trashing the DVD or tape. It is better this way, trust us.
Nonetheless, if the allure of videotaping is simply too tricky to resist, enable us to provide you three commandments concerning the procedure…
1. Thou shalt not disperse said video to anyone, ever.
2. Thou shalt not picture someone without their permission. That is just wrong, dude. Seriously.
3. Thou shalt not engage in what we call post-game analysis. In actuality, fast forward past anything between yourself as the star and concentrate on the pieces of sexy featuring your spouse. Unless they have been directed to do so by a therapist of some type.