Men are, broadly speaking, so very good at being cognitive beings. I witness you wish to make sense of things from mind. Rational thought has become the go-to survival mechanism at a working age.
But allow me to ask you this: How can a guy who sits behind a computer all day know the way to be with a girl? How can a guy who goes to work in an office all day know the way to be with a girl?
You can’t THINK about being with a girl and have intimacy really be amazing. Thinking alone, in this situation, will get you nowhere. Knowing in mind how to be with a girl, and understanding in the body how to be with a girl, are two entirely different things.
And she wants you on your body.
She wants you to know the way to be with her with your body.
Therefore, guys, you can boost your intimacy greatly by having a practice which gets you into your own body. What do I mean by that? Do something that makes you sweat, which makes you feel in touch with your body, and makes you feel alive. Because when you can feel your entire body, you bring your entire body to closeness, and this is exactly what she’s craving. When you’re coming to closeness mostly with cognition and a penis, sex is level. Mechanic. Eh.
The best lover I ever had understood his body so well. He had been using his body at work and play because he was a boy he had never stopped. He was pure physicality, and therefore he understood the whole body was involved in sex and intimacy. He understood the value of sensations.
Also, due to his presence and consciousness in his entire body, he felt really safer for me to trust. He knew how to touch my body, so I could lean into his. Lots of women are holding patterns of injury around intimacy and sex, and the more you’re in your body, person, and conscious of yourself, it really translates into a trusting existence to her, in part, just by your confidence on your own physicality.
You become more dependable to a woman when you’ve got a connection to your physical body.
When I hear a lady tell me she would like to completely surrender to her husband, and she is asking him to”hold space” for her, and he does not know how to do this — it makes me think — we want men in their own bodies.
If you understood your body, you’d know that you’ve got consent to take up space on earth. That you’re not just your ideas or your dutiful performance. When a lady is asking for secure distance, she is asking that you understand the energy of the masculine in you. This energy is not found by believing.
Engage your muscles. It is a solid start.
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