Dating Younger Women — 7 Ways to Use Your Age as An Advantage

Today’s article is for men over age 35. If you’re under the age of 35, you are certainly invited as well; this does not very apply to you yet, but it will shortly.  

As I discuss in good detail at the Ultimate Younger Woman Manual, if you are an older guy chasing younger women, your target audience will be the Type 2 younger girls. These are women that are turned off by men their own age and vastly prefer to date older guys, sometimes much older guys. In the event you were curious, Form Ones are girls who would never date a much older man and are disgusted at the idea (this is the largest group) and Form Threes will gravitate to men their own age but will gladly date an older man so long as he’s a nice quantity of game and does not come across as a creeper.  

The main point is that the huge majority of younger girls you’ll date will be Type Twos. They are the easiest to become successful with, undoubtedly. (Type Ones are more or less impossible and Form Threes are workable but require more time and energy.)  

Here is the problem with most older men going after younger girls: they try to behave like younger men.  

This is the exact wrong thing to do. Why? By hoping to present yourself as younger, you’re murdering the very trait which is most likely to bring your biggest target audience, the Type Twos.   

These men who lie and create their era eight years younger… no! I don’t believe you should lie in any way, but if you have been to lie, I would rather you lie and make your age older than create your age younger. Yes, if you did so, you would really be more successful with the Type Twos. It’s true you would probably get more games / hits/numbers if you lie and make your age-old (or present yourself younger in different ways) but you won’t really get to sex with those girls since lots of these newly”curious” prospects will actually be Type Ones (who you won’t get to sex with no matter what you do) and Type Threes (who you won’t get anywhere with unless you have really strong match, do everything right and take your time).  

Men do not know that Type Twos do not want younger guys, nor do they need older guys who behave like younger men. They need older guys who behave like older men. That is the entire point. That is what they are attracted to.  

They need the things that make older guys distinct from younger guys. This means that you should not only not attempt to act younger, but rather you need to play up the attributes that elderly guys have over younger guys.   

Here are the seven qualities of elderly guys, or those qualities that Type Two younger women perceive older guys to have that you will need to place on full screen. They’re listed in no specific order.  

I have talked about confidence in terrific detail, including just what it is and the way to exude it in The Unchained Man and Get To Sex Quickly . Younger girls assume, usually correctly, that older men have a tendency to be {} than younger guys. Only the act of appearing older and more mature can often give the illusion that you are more confident.  

Obviously, you should really be more convinced also, or at least fake it till you make it (in the case of elderly men that are out of practice since they have been monogamous for so long).  

Power of Character  

Older men are perceived to have stronger personalities, stronger partners and more mental strength. The more of these traits you may exude when speaking to younger girls, the more successful you’ll be.  

This sort of strength doesn’t mean that you’re an asshole (with one exception I’ll get to in a minute). It’s indeed likely to be a very powerful, tough, pleasant, polite guy. A legitimate Alpha Male knows how to exude enormous inner strength while being smooth and relaxed without being overbearing or a jerk. This is significantly easier for elderly men than it is for younger men in their twenties.  

That is enormous and should go without saying. This is also among the largest reasons why younger girls /older guys couples are becoming more common. Younger guys in the Millennial and Production Z categories appear to lack the motivation and drive of previous generations. I realize some of you younger guys will begin bitching and defending this but we have already had that conversation here and here 

The point here is that since we live in a society where, wrong or right , younger men are perceived to don’t have any motivation and drive, it is a lot easier for you as an older man to demonstrate those very traits and stand apart for these.   

Numerous times over the last 12 years I have been dating much younger women and when I tell them I can not hang out together because I am busy working in my exciting (to me) companies, their fascination for me skyrockets even though they whine I am being greedy or an asshole.  

This is fundamental SMV stuff and you do not want me to explain this to you. Clearly if you introduce yourself as more successful as an older man it will help with the younger girls. As I’ve said (and recognized ) many times before, it is not compulsory , but it will help.  

This goes hand-in-hand with drive and motivation. Younger women notice that if an older man begins a job that is important to him, he’s more likely to single-mindedly concentrate on such job in ways many younger guys can not or won’t.   

Focus is also a core feature of masculinity and so attractive to females. It is much harder for girls to sit down, put down their heads and TOTALLY FOCUS on ONE THING for Quite a While. It is the way our brains are designed. The more you can show girls, especially younger women you have this capability, the better.  

Getting Your Shit Together 

Again, this is something which is more helpful now than it was 30 years ago when many men of all ages had their shit together, such as guys in their early twenties. Today, you need to appear well beyond age 35 to locate guys who have all their shit together in life, emotionally, physically, financially, career-wise and so forth. That means if you are over 35 and have your shit together, you are far more appealing to younger women now than at any additional point in contemporary history. It is a really great place to be.

As I’ve discussed at my blogs earlier, as the West continues to fall, this age of 35 where guys have gotten their shit together will rise. Soon, women will need to search for men over age 40. Then 45. All that does is benefit you as an older man… assuming you’ve got your shit together naturally. (Which means that if you are an older guy and you do not have your shit together, you have got some catching up to do and you’d better stop fucking around right now and get your ass to work.)

The largest difference between older men and older men concerning relationships with girls is that younger guys will tolerate all types of drama, bullshit, disagreements, insults and other garbage from girls where older guys generally won’t.  

This was certainly true with me as a younger guy and it was likely true with you also. { Remember back when you were in your twenties… {} long, drawn-out arguments you had with girls you were dating. |} Probably not.

Not putting up with a younger lady’s crap, this father-like ability to shut shit down with her before things get heated or irrational is yet another one of those attraction factors you have to demonstrate. It’s among the greatest things that will distinguish you from the younger guys her age.  

It is advisable to rank yourself on each of those seven things and give yourself a score of 1 to 10. If any are under an 8, then you should set a goal to get them to at least an 8, or even greater.  

When you do, your results with younger girls will improve. They can not not improve.  

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

Ask Dr. Nerdlove: I Wish to Date Younger Women.


Hi Doc,

Thank you for all the hard work and fantastic articles, lots of amazing advice that has helped in the past — your publication New Game+ has been a big benefit to me. My question is a fast one, about how sexual desire changes when you get old.

I will hold my hands up and say from the get-go I myself am very young, only 26! However, I have been in relationships with older women (10+ years older than me). Recently, I’ve been in a wonderful, loving relationship with an older women over the last year or so. Nevertheless, in my day to day life, I encounter a number of other interesting and attractive ladies, lots of whom are young (18-26, I work in a school ). Understandably, I find lots of them sexually attractive — but I struggle on a somewhat daily basis with feelings of lust and guilt, as I am discovering the contrasts between the younger women and my partner more often.

Concurrently, I was listening to podcast by Russell Brand lately, and he said how he’s gotten to the point of having such a rich spiritual and emotional relationship with his wife he does not feel the need to place someone else in between that distance anymore. {This got me thinking — as you age (50+, 60+, 70+), your lusts for nubile flesh and younger women (or men) must be {} to fulfill. |} Instead, you’ll have to prioritise experiencing the entire psychological and spiritual relationship with another individual in its entirety (rather than simply needing them for their sexy ass!) . I am also conscious of your other blog post about how society fetishises younger girls of a particular demographic, and we’re living in an Instagram and porn-addicted world where our criteria of gender are enormously warped.

So, tell me Doc, will you successfully lust after young, nubile partners as you age — will it make you happy, and sexually satisfied? Or should we rather prioritise only valuing the religious connection with someone else during sex? Or can you have both?

Benjamin Button

The majority of the time when someone writes to me with questions about something that’s years — or decades — down the line, the issue is they’re borrowing unhappiness in the future. A future that, in actuality, may never come to pass.

You, on the other hand BB, are not borrowing trouble so much as just making shit up to get worried about. Worrying about whether you are going to be in a position to become a dirty old man — or, y’understand, the male lead in many Hollywood films — in 40 years is not just missing the point, it is managing to miss the whole world the stage resided on and sending items out beyond the Van Allen Belt.

So let’s break this down a bit, shall we?

First, you are assuming a good deal of facts not in evidence — beginning with the question of if you are going to be into the exact same sort of girls as you get older. As easy as it is to believe that you are gonna want only jailbait and girls in their early 20s, you might realize that your tastes have changed radically as you get older. There’re loads of people who hit their 30s and 40s and realize that although that young flesh could be hot to look at… a lot of times, that is all there is. They are great eye-candy but you can not have a conversation with them, nor are they nearly as good in bed as girls who are more age-appropriate.

(Seriously: the reason we used to say that women hit their sexual peak at 35 is due to 35, girls often have run out of fucks to give and are shucking off the sex-shame-y bullshit society has thrown them. A woman without a fucks, who is come into her own sexuality is a glorious and frightening thing to behold.)

Secondly, let’s be real here: this is less about whether {} generally possible for an older man to get with a younger woman — obviously it’s. This is about whether you’ll be the type of person who will hook up with a girl young enough to be his granddaughter. In other words: this is not about if your desire gets tougher to meet and much more about your self and a desire for empowerment. After all, young girls are viewed as having a particular value and cachet, so obviously someone who can figure out how to date or sleep with one (or two or three) is obviously of high status.

Except for the part where that is not how it works. Basing your premises on how relationship will work on your later years on Hef is like highlighting your career trajectory on Mark Zuckerberg’s.

Additionally, past the allegations of mistreatment and sexual misconduct, do you honestly believe those were a relationship of mutual respect and curiosity? Dude desired arm candy to show off and to put on displays for him while his girlfriends enjoyed the benefits that being Hef’s girlfriend gave them. There might have been affection, but this was a same-sex connection at best and — going by lots of the novels and stories that have come out since — rather horrific.

Women, as a rule of thumb, do not date someone for status or value, they date someone who they have a valid attraction and connection with. The wider the gap you’ve got between two individuals — especially in era — the tougher it is to have these commonalities. Both will have fewer points of commonality or cultural touchstones than somebody who is 24-28 — never mind the differences in where the both of you are on your life.

Being an old man with a young girlfriend… it will be possible, but improbable, and the odds of it lasting is much more unlikely.

Third: I am glad that Russell Brand has a close and passionate relationship with his wife, but I believe you tried to put 2 and 2 together and got”moops” instead. Nothing he said has anything to do with whether or not you will want young ass as you got older.

Now if you are asking whether you will want different people despite being in love with your spouse… yes. So will your spouse. We’re a species developed to seek out novelty, including sexual novelty. As I am so frequently saying, a monogamous devotion claims that you decide to not sleep with anybody else, not that you won’t need to. Likewise passion fades over time with a spouse. The newness and novelty goes away as you get to know someone. That is just part of being in a long-term relationship — that closeness and familiarity means that you understand them in a way that you did not initially. How you keep the spark alive and vibrant is by recognizing that you can not re-experience the novelty of getting to know your partner, but you can inject excitement and novelty into your lives… that will also bleed into your sensual connection. So part of keeping that spark alive is not to let your lives — sexual or otherwise — fall into a rut.

So yeah: you are asking the wrong questions and inventing issues to get worried about that have absolutely nothing to do with your life today. Rather than worrying about whether you are going to be the old man in the club rather than the most intriguing Man on earth, consider focusing on the relationships you have today. You’re better off figuring out how to construct, maintain and nurture what you have now — a clinic which will serve you over your whole life time — instead of worrying about if your future self will have the ability to score with young ass.

Howdy Doc.

I recently reconnected with two friends over spring break, after having not seen them for decades. We talked and had plenty of fun, but we were in a diner and my one friend, J (f, now 20), was revealed that she had had a problem. She told me about a crush she had on an underclassman in her college, K (f, now 19), and how they were best friends but not in a relationship. J asked K out to prom 1 night, and K could not say no. But when they got to prom, J spent all the time dancing and flirting with other men rather than spending time with K. K felt incredibly betrayed, despite the fact that they were not really”relationship”. Smaller moments, like ditching a group cosplay at a conference and J dating different people that both she and K knew — people that H did not like — further afield the connection. K finally went so far as to inquire whether J saw her as a friend or girlfriend, and J wanted nothing but to remain best friends. Presently, the two of them seldom speak.

While she informed me about this, I tried my best to comfort her. I asked her questions about how she felt, what she had been and was not okay with in the connection, gave suggestions about what I would have done, and gave bashful”I am sorry J”s through the tough parts of her narrative. But then conversation I might still feel that she had been gloomy and unsatisfied. I believed her talking about it would make her feel a bit better, but that did not appear to be true. It made me feel that somewhere in the conversation I might have said something wrong or might haven’t said something right.

My question is how should I have a conversation like this again? How do I comfort a friend who’s going through a rough breakup or stuck on something that never was? Whenever someone comes to me with something like this again, I wish to understand how to do it so that they feel as though they have a much better grasp on their own emotions.

Thanks,
Friend Indeed

Not gont lie, FI… I am not exactly sure what your friend was anticipating. J has seemingly gone out of her way to be shitty to somebody that she allegedly had a crush on and who certainly had feelings for her. There is just so many times you may dropkick someone’s heart till they say”fuck this sound” and bail.

(Frankly, I am amazed it took as long as it did for K to decide to peace from the whole relationship.)

As a rule of thumb, when someone’s hurting, the majority of the time, what they need is comfort. Sometimes that means someone to listen and allow them to unload all the pent-up emotions they have been feeling. They might want a neutral party to listen to — somebody who will not cast judgement or who was not involved — so they could open up and find a response to”am I the asshole?” Sometimes it means somebody who is there for them — a hot body to cling to and cry on so they don’t feel lonely or abandoned or lost. Other times, they need somebody who’ll let them know that it will all be ok and as awful as this is, it will all fade in time and they will feel normal again. Still other times, they need someone who can divert and distract themto take their mind off their pain, if only for a little bit.

What they typically don’t want is somebody to fix their problem for them or to indicate solutions. This is a problem lots of men have; we are socialized to believe our value is in doing things and solving problems, so we attempt to throw out solutions when what most folks want is to be noticed. This is the reason it can be helpful to ask whether somebody wants action and solutions or tea and sympathy; it makes it much easier to understand what psychological protocols to engage.

Not being there, I can not tell you exactly what J was needing. The cynical side of me suggests that she had been hoping that you would reassure her that she was not a poor person and did not blow up a relationship from… I dunno, undergad drama, I guess. If — and that’s a mighty big if — that has been the situation, I am not surprised that she went away disappointed.

But the thing you will need to bear in mind is that you are not magic. You can do all of the right things and extend somebody the type of comfort they want or need rather than fix them or make them feel better. A whole lot of times, people will still go away sad and that is ok. That is not a failure on your part to relaxation correctly, it’s just they still need to feel that the fuck out of the feels. However, while you may not have treated them, you did provide them comfort and comfort for some time, when they needed it.

And the majority of the time, that is exactly what they require.

Very good luck.

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This might be about your own ego.

The article Ask Dr. Nerdlove: I Wish to Date Younger Women. Appeared on The Great Men Project.

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here

What Is Potential for Older Men with Younger Women

The following is an except from my novel The Supreme Younger Woman Manual That I’ve enlarged for the purposes of the Report.   

Among the more frequent questions I am asked is,”I am a really old man. I am X years old. Is it reasonable for me to expect to date/have sex with a sexy 22 yearolder? Or should I just forget about studying relationship or game methods and pay for sex?”  

It is a valid question. After teaching thousands of guys these techniques within the last ten years, the age groups of guys break down into something like this: 

Men in their twenties or teens are younger guys, not older guys, so they do not need any particular changes in their strategy with younger girls. The advantage younger men suffer with younger girls is, of course, they do not need to overcome the distress and negative Social Programming regarding a huge age difference.  

The disadvantages younger guys have are: 

1.  

2. They’re extremely outcome dependent.  

3. They are normally short-tempered, quick to anger, and put up with a great deal of bullshit drama from girls.  

It is those aspects that truly assist older guys attract much younger girls. But regardless, younger guys don’t need to take part in any special sort of dating techniques so as to score with younger girls.  

Men age 30-34 are also not what I believe”elderly guys,” and nowadays, by and large, most younger girls don’t either. As I‘ve discussed on this site before, guys in the modern age are a lot more immature at elderly ages nowadays . Thus, most guys age 30-34 seem and behave like younger men. Due to this, they also typically don’t have to do anything radically different for VYW, though some adjustments may be required depending on the circumstance.  

As soon as you cross over age 35, younger girls are certainly going to put you into that”older” category. The fantastic news about guys that this age is that while they’re considered”older,” they’re often still young in appearance. Personally, I believe age 37 as the era where a guy peaks in physical beauty, and a number of my own informal polling in my real life and on the world wide web appears to indicate many women and men agree with this.  

Men in their forties continue to be able to date younger girls of any age, but the ifficultly degree is raised radically , and personal look gets considerably, much more of a variable. Younger guys can seem like bums or dorks and get to sex with younger girls. Older men can’t. Strangely, the older you get, the more important it is to maintain your physical appearance (if your purpose is to date younger girls , that is).   

It is important to do everything right when on your forties when dating much younger women, because the margin for error is razor thin.  

Sugar daddy match, a game style in which men find women on sugar daddy dating sites and pay girls for sex or imply that they will pay, is an option for men in their forties, but it is not required. I have dated VYW while at my forties without paying them any money with zero issues and I understand a number of other guys in their forties who do the same. But you must do everything right, achievement rates/response rates fall to tiny percentages, and you, really should put in the amounts .  

Men in their fifties split into two subcategories. If that is you, then concerning women, you’re basically a guy in his forties, so what I stated above regarding men in their forties more or less applies to you.   

The other sort of man in his fifties, a far more common form, is the common fifties beta man who has allowed his physical health and appearance go after decades of monogamy or fail. He is also balding, has poor teeth or skin, slovenly dressing, dresses like a dork, has feeble, stooped body language, and has a general beta man demeanor. He resembles the average”dad.” Not a good look.  

If this describes you, you must concentrate very hard on your physical appearance, and set a goal to make the most of your appearance as far as humanly possible, even though it costs time and money to do so, which it likely will. Confidence, fitness, style, and dressing ought to be addressed before you invest plenty of time going out to try to date much younger women (unless all you need to do is cover hookers).  

As you’re improving your physical appearance, I don’t suggest that you focus entirely on VYW, since dating them at this stage is going to be challenging. Instead, you may temporarily concentrate on dating girls within your age range or concentrate on dating girls much younger than you but not quite as youthful as VYW (women in their thirties, by way of instance ), or concentrate instead on sugar daddy game where some money is involved. I generally advise men over 50 who are still in look optimization mode to prevent normal (non-sugar daddy) match with VYW till they obtain their appearance in check.  

I personally know many men in their fifties that are dating girls in their mid-twenties, without paying for it, with no problems, but those are guys who take time (and money) to take additional care of their physical appearance and health, far beyond the normal Western beta male 50+ dad or grandpa.  

Men in their sixties or outside should {} on sugar daddy game if they need VYW (which shouldn’t be a issue financially for you, since by the time you’re in your sixties you should have tons of disposable income) or, if they maximize their look, focus on younger women in their thirties or forties. Non-sugar daddy game with VYW for men over age sixty is not really an option unless the situation is exceptionally unusual. If a woman as young as 22 is ready to have sex with a guy over age sixty for no trade in cash or presents, even if he is pretty attractive for 60+ guy, she will at least anticipate some sort of payment, gifts, or service at some stage in the interaction shortly. Again, yes, I understand there are strange exceptions, but these are precisely what they are: exceptions.  

This should not surprise nor bother anybody. When I am well over age sixty I fully expect to need to shell out some cash, at least to a degree, if I wish to get funky with a girl in her twenties. As I mentioned above, this should not be a problem because by the time you’re over sixty, cash shouldn’t be an issue for you, and you ought to have lots of it. I highly suggest that you go take a look.)  

If you plan on only dating girls within plus or minus ten years of your age for the rest of your life, that is fine, and you’ll never have to be worried about any of the younger woman stuff. But if you’re planning on becoming sexual with much younger girls either now or when you get much older, now’s the time to plan and prepare for this so that you won’t have problems later in life when getting to sex with younger and more attractive girls becomes harder.  

 

Download my eBook The Secrets to Attract Women FREE now by clicking here